


You Can't Cover Up My Heart

by stay_healing



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Complete, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rated T for language, This is fluff, i'd call this a character study, makeup artist!jisung, model!hyunjin, some mental health themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 09:29:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 48,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19850326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stay_healing/pseuds/stay_healing
Summary: — Hyunjin wraps himself in everything that is Jisung and it's seamless. So much like the vine that snakes around Hyunjin's wrist that Jisung avoids covering, the faded maple tree that crawls over the firm skin of his bicep, the setting sun in the dip of his thumb, so similar is the way they fit together: as if one was never without the other. Not perfect; always a little torn at the stitches because that's the way humans are: imperfect, malleable. Breakable. Still, Hyunjin can't imagine his skin without the ink pressed deep into it, and he can't imagine his heart without a home for Jisung carved out into its corners. No amount of brightening concealer or long-wear foundation can cover that kind of endlessness. Jisung would never try to cover it. Hyunjin would never let it be covered.(Or: Hyunjin is a model who frequently shows up to shoots with new tattoos so his makeup artist, Jisung, has to spend more time covering them up. That was the prompt, anyway.)





	You Can't Cover Up My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> hello!  
> i'm back after 6 months of not publishing anything bc i've been slaving over this fic! she honest to god nearly killed me. but she's beautiful and i love her, and i hope you love her too.  
> a couple things for anyone who reads these notes: 
> 
> [ ♡ ] this story does contain some mental health themes. they aren't explicit, but they are definitely present. there's mentions of humiliation/degradation in a work environment and anxiety throughout the entire story. 
> 
> [ ♡ ] this is not the story i initially intended to write. this came out a lot darker than i thought it would, but it's bc i used it as a coping mechanism. jisung and hyunjin's characters are not representative of how i actually see them or their real personalities. if anything, this is me projecting lol
> 
> [ ♡ ] this is set in seattle, washington for no reason other than the fact that seattle doesn't seem like a real place to me, so that's where i put my characters lol
> 
> [ ♡ ] hyunjin is fluent in both english and korean for plot purposes and it's a pretty important part of his character. all lines are spoken in english unless otherwise specified
> 
> this fic is a work of love and i'm so happy to finally be able to share it! thank you for reading and have a wonderful day/night <3
> 
> twt: @stayhealing_

——

****

Hyunjin has had tattoos for most of his life at this point. His first was when he was 16 – a black outline of the sun in the dip between his thumb and forefinger. It was easy to cover, but still something that Hyunjin was constantly aware of. It was his own little secret for awhile since his manager told him he wasn't allowed to get any tattoos until he turned 21 and had a stable modeling career. Hyunjin's parents, on the other hand, disagreed, and appreciated the sentiment behind the small sun inked into his skin: a tribute to his late grandfather, his tan skin, and the countless hours he spent outside simply enjoying the world in its most pure form. Nature was what he cherished most, and Hyunjin felt that he took a bit of the sunshine with him when he passed. His manager was a bit more forgiving after hearing the heartfelt meaning of the tattoo, but still discouraged Hyunjin from getting more. 

****

Hyunjin was 16, and being told “no” only further motivated him to do exactly what everyone told him not to do. His parents told his manager this, explained that if Hyunjin didn't have the tattoos done at an actual shop, then he would have them done by “some sketchy dudes in an alley.” He would've never done that, but a risk to his health and safety was all it took to convince his manager that foundation and concealer were his new best friends. 

****

Hyunjin's second tattoo came later that same year when his family moved to a different neighborhood. For as long as Hyunjin could remember, his family lived in the countryside, always surrounded by growing trees, clean air, and areas largely untouched by modern society's dirty hands. During May of that year, not long after Hyunjin turned 17, his father accepted a job in a small town near Seattle and uprooted the family to move closer. Hyunjin didn't really mind the change; his “friends” at school all saw him as only a pretty face, and barely knew him as a person. He didn't have any family left in the little village he'd been raised, and he was getting older, growing tired of seeing such a tiny fraction of the world every waking moment. The change was welcome, really. 

****

Hyunjin only truly missed one thing: the trees. Even though the city was less than two hours away from his hometown, the foliage disappeared at the city limits. Hyunjin only saw trees when he crossed into the neighboring county, which was rare being that the city had everything they needed. Thus, came the tree on the back of his right arm, just above his elbow. It wasn't a huge tattoo, but it was big enough to be intricately detailed, and Hyunjin  _ adored  _ it. It was a simple black outline of a withered maple, thin at the trunk, with branches reaching up towards his shoulder. There was one single blue bird perched on the branch closest to the ground. Hyunjin liked to think of the bird as himself, looking into the distance, searching for people who yearned for the places they'd never been. Maybe the bird was keeping watch – of him or the tree, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was just stopping by to rest for a bit, or contemplating whether or not it should make its home on that very branch. Hyunjin never really specified the meaning of the bird to his parents or his manager because he didn't want it to mean just one thing. The bird was him, everyone else, and anything he wanted it to be. The bird was nothing. The bird was something. The bird was everything, and so it would stay.

****

Tattoos number three, four, and five came in rapid succession of each other during Hyunjin’s last two years of high school. He used his tattoos to mark recent milestones in his life, and to remember things important or valuable to him. Number three was a thin black outline of two hands clasped together on his ribcage to remind him that he had people who would always be there for him: his best friends Felix and Seungmin, and his parents, whom he loved more than anything in the world. Someone would always be cheering him on, of that he was certain.

****

Tattoo number four was a bit of a spur-of-the-moment thing. It was two weeks after he’d gotten his third tattoo, and Felix wanted one of his own. Tattoos were becoming somewhat of an addiction for Hyunjin, and he  _ knew  _ that if he accompanied Felix into the shop, he would walk out with fresh ink on his skin. Of course, he did. It was a simple black band around his left ring finger, the same finger he would put a ring on if he ever chose to get married. Hyunjin had always admired his parent’s relationship, but never wanted the same thing for himself. That isn’t to say that he never wanted to fall in love, he just didn’t see himself getting married anytime soon. For the time being, he belonged to himself, and when a part of him belonged to someone else in the future, he would cover the band with a wedding ring. Eventually.

****

Hyunjin’s fifth tattoo was more of a decoration than anything. It was also the one his manager disliked the most because it was so difficult to cover, but Hyunjin kind of got a kick out of seeing how red his manager’s face turned seeing it everyday. The tattoo was simple, clean, just like the others. It was a thin vine that wrapped around Hyunjin’s wrist and up the side of his pinky with small, round leaves placed sporadically on each side. It looked like a bangle if you were unable to see the ink curling up his hand, and Hyunjin absolutely loved the artistry of it. The placement of his tattoos was just as important to him as the tattoos themselves, and this one was special for that reason. It fit his body like it belonged there, like his skin had never been without it. The vine became a part of him, just as his other tattoos had. Just as sure as the sun would rise in the morning, this tattoo was meant to be inked into Hyunjin’s skin. 

********  
  


**_— October 9th_ **

****

Hyunjin is 19 years old when he meets Jisung. At the time, he was searching for a new manager after his contract expired with his previous one, and he was lucky enough to be scouted on the street. Hyunjin had heard about those kinds of things happening, but he didn’t think it was  _ real _ . A rather stocky man in a tight suit approached him as he was leaving the coffee shop near his apartment, nearly knocked his phone  _ and _ coffee out of his hand, and completely threw off his balance, all in the process of shouting, “Do you wanna be a star?!” Needless to say, Hyunjin did  _ not  _ want to be a star at that moment. Alas, the short man was very persistent, and Hyunjin was a little afraid of him, so he wrote down his name and phone number and promised to schedule an interview with the agency the man worked for. It was by pure luck, Hyunjin’s good looks, and his inability to say “no” to people that he landed a job before winter that year.

****

The day of the interview, Hyunjin is asked to bring headshots, a resume, and to come with his skin prepped for makeup. He does as told, bringing along three headshots with different concepts, an updated copy of his resume, and his skin moisturized. Hyunjin doesn’t actually see the stocky man who yelled at him on the street until he’s being pushed into a makeup chair, lights shining in his face, and his hair clipped back.

****

“Hyunjin, yes?” The man is looking over his headshots, not looking up as he speaks. Hyunjin immediately notices the lilt to his voice as his tongue forms his Korean name. It sounds unnatural. “Yes?” He doesn’t mean for his reply to sound like a question, but it does somehow. The short man tucks his headshots into a binder and snaps it closed, beckoning the hair and makeup team over with a curled finger. “My name is Richard, and I’ll be watching over you today. Jisung here–” Richard smacks his hand down on a small shoulder, pulls a teenage boy out of the group of females, and pushes him in front of Hyunjin. “–is going to be doing your makeup. Isn’t that right, Jisung?” Hyunjin can only watch as Jisung replies with a curt, “Yes, sir.” and the women behind him laugh under their breath.

****

Hyunjin can’t help the shiver than runs down his spine after hearing the way Richard speaks to Jisung. His chin is tucked against his chest, his hands are folded in front of him, and his jaw is clenching and unclenching with each word Richard speaks to the team of women behind them. After a few moments of Hyunjin watching Jisung and Jisung not meeting his gaze, Richard orders the team out of the room. “You have two hours, kid. Make him look presentable.” Richard sneers, and latches the door behind him. Immediately, Jisung gets to work. Hyunjin just watches as he goes to fetch a large carry-on bag from another room, picks out the products he’ll need, and lays them out of the folding table in front of him. He’s working fast, and it’s making Hyunjin anxious to say the least. 

****

“Hey,” he says, leaning over the armrest of the makeup chair to get a better look at Jisung. He’s still organizing his products, setting everything where he can see it, and cleaning a few small makeup brushes. Jisung’s eyes flick up to Hyunjin for less than a second, but long enough for Hyunjin to see the sparkle along his lower lashline. “I’m Hyunjin. You’re Jisung?” Jisung only nods, wiping his clean brushes on a paper towel before dusting them off on the back of his wrist. “It’s nice to meet you.” Jisung hums, pulling the rolling chair over to sit on. “They said you have tattoos,” he says quietly, pulling three bottles of foundation out of the bag. “May I see them?” Finally, Jisung looks up to meet Hyunjin’s eyes, holding his hand out, and  _ wow.  _

****

Jisung is  _ pretty _ . Like, mind blowingly, literally stupidly-stunning-pretty, and Hyunjin might've gasped _. _ Nothing in the world can intimidate Hyunjin more than beautiful people, and Jisung is giving every other good-looking specimen on the planet a healthy run for their money. Shit, beauty itself  _ wished  _ it had what Jisung has. That's where Hyunjin is at in his mind right now.

****

So, to say that Hyunjin is stunned would be an enormous understatement. He’s astonished, bewildered, flabbergasted, rendered completely speechless, and it’s all because of the glitter underneath Jisung’s big brown eyes. As if the glitter under his eyes isn’t enough, there is also something shimmering on the highest points of his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, and his defined cupid’s bow. Hyunjin has never seen someone’s skin actually  _ glow _ , and now, he never wants to see anything other than Jisung's shining skin _.  _

****

“Hyunjin?” Oh, god, he’s staring. But how could he not? Jisung’s tan skin is right there in front of him, glowing like _the_ _actual sun_ , and Hyunjin is expected to be able to form coherent thoughts. That’s too much to ask. “Can I see your tattoos, please? I need to know which color foundation to use to cover them.” Jisung’s voice rumbles deep in his chest, and some otherworldly force allows Hyunjin to place his arm palm up into Jisung’s hand. He pumps a tiny drop of foundation onto the back of his hand and bounces it into Hyunjin’s wrist with a sponge, compares it with the other two colors, and nods to himself. 

****

“This one should work,” he mumbles, holding his hand up against Hyunjin’s face to match the color to his cheeks. “What do you think?” Jisung asks, showing Hyunjin the space of airbrushed skin on his hand where there’s usually a little sun. That’s odd – no one ever asks what  _ he  _ thinks. Normally, makeup artists just do what they need to do and shove him into the hairdresser’s chair when they’re finished. Still, the foundation color matches Hyunjin’s skin perfectly, and he nods in approval. “Great,” The corners of Jisung’s lips curl up, and Hyunjin might be breathing a bit heavier than normal. It’s probably the lights getting to his head. 

****

“I’ll go ahead and cover up this one on your wrist then. It’s very pretty, by the way,” Jisung pumps some more foundation onto his hand and begins blending it over the vine wrapping around Hyunjin’s wrist. “Does it have any special meaning? Or is it just something you wanted?” Jisung’s voice is  _ soft _ , and this is odd, too. Just the fact that Jisung is talking to him at all is new, but he’s asking him about his  _ tattoos _ . Typically, makeup artists treat tattoos as an inconvenience, another blemish to cover up, and are more than happy to ignore them after a couple layers of foundation and powder. Moreover, Hyunjin has never had a makeup artist initiate actual conversation with him. Jisung has managed to surprise him in more ways than one before his face is even primed for foundation. 

****

Huh.

****

“It was just something I wanted,” he answers, watching as Jisung pulls a compact of loose powder from the table and begins dabbing it over the foundation. Jisung hums and finishes up the first layer of coverage. “That’s cool. Tattoos are a great way to express yourself. I think they’re really neat,” Jisung smiles just slightly and pulls the handle underneath the makeup chair to lower it down to his eye level. As he bends down, a thin golden chain with a green pendant at the end slips out from underneath his shirt. Hyunjin finds his eyes drawn to it instantly. “I’m going to get started on your base. Is that okay?” That’s also odd, but for the same reasons as before. Hyunjin nods, looking over the selection of products Jisung has chosen. “You’ve already moisturized, yes?” Another nod, and Jisung is still smiling. Hyunjin can’t really tell at this point if it’s a genuine smile, or if he’s just being polite. Most likely the latter. Still, it’s not something he’s used to in a makeup artist. Interesting.

****

“Is it okay if I sit between your legs so I can see your entire face? If not, it’s no problem.” It's becoming rather obvious that Jisung is just naturally very thoughtful. Hyunjin had been placed in many compromising positions with makeup artists who never thought twice about invading his personal space and didn’t care when they made him uncomfortable. “No, that’s okay. I’ve literally had people straddle me without asking, so I appreciate that you’re even communicating with me.” Hyunjin means for it to sound light-hearted, but Jisung furrows his brows, so he guesses a little bit of insecurity slipped through in his voice. “I promise I won’t do that, Hyunjin. I'll try my best not to make you uncomfortable,” Jisung pauses for a moment, situates himself on the chair between Hyunjin’s legs, and brings the sponge up to his face. “That’s why I requested to do your makeup today.” Hyunjin’s eyes had been closed because of the sponge on his face, but they fly open at Jisung’s confession. 

****

“You requested to do my makeup?” he asks, watching Jisung’s reaction. He chuckles, picking up more foundation on the sponge, and adjusting the clips to hold back Hyunjin’s hair. “Of course. After Richard came in raving about the ‘hot son of a bitch’ he found outside of  _ My Side _ , I knew I had to be the one to do it. The women here, they’re–" Jisung pauses, tucks a strand of hair behind Hyunjin’s ear, and continues bouncing the product into the skin around his temples and down his jaw. 

****

“Don’t get me wrong – they’re fantastic makeup artists. But if a client comes in that they don’t like, they’ll try to sabotage their chances with the company. I’m still the newest one here, so everything I do wrong can be written off as a rookie mistake, even though I’ve been here for two years now. If they do something wrong, it looks bad on the whole company – which isn’t a bad place to work after you’ve gotten through the initial interview process. Mine was just as bad.” Hyunjin is gaping a little bit as Jisung swipes concealer under his eyes and in the center of his forehead. 

****

“I really appreciate you doing that for me, Jisung. What was your interview like?” Hyunjin can do nothing but watch Jisung blend the product into his skin, so that’s what he does. He can see every crease form in his skin when he smiles, see the light shift and move against the highlights of his face and his delicate necklace, and watches a very unique heart-shaped smile take over his features. “It was pretty terrible, honestly. I was 17, and I’d only been doing makeup for, like, two years at that point, and I still wasn’t great at it. They made me do two looks on face charts, two on mannequins, and two on real people all in three hours. I had nightmares about it for weeks afterward,” Jisung laughs, and it sounds friendly, comfortable,  _ real _ . It's a laugh that Hyunjin doesn't have to force himself to reciprocate. Also interesting.

****

Jisung wastes no time between steps, and quickly sets Hyunjin's face with powder before moving on to contouring his features. “Do makeup artists usually do a lot of contour on you?” Jisung asks while brushing a bronzer into the hollows of his cheekbones. Hyunjin shrugs. “Some do, some don't. I think it depends on what type of look they're going for.” Jisung hums. His fingers hover over the table of supplies, eyes searching for something specific. What he finds is a thin brush that he taps lightly against the contour shade, and runs over the sides and round tip of Hyunjin's nose.

****

“The outfit they have for you today is pretty warm toned, and so is the backdrop, so I'll stick with softer contour,” Jisung brushes the hair away from Hyunjin's forehead with his hand, picks up a thicker brush, and continues to contour his face. “You have a very soft bone structure, but very prominent features, so I think just bronzing will look best,” Jisung's voice is gentle and quiet as he explains why he's applying the makeup the way he is. Hyunjin is beginning to understand why many models fall asleep while having their makeup done: having Jisung do his makeup is calming in a way he's never experienced. He’s usually a little on edge whenever someone unfamiliar does his makeup.

****

Jisung moves back to his cheeks, deepening the hollows where the bronzer was placed, and defining Hyunjin's jawline. Next, he pulls out three shades of cream blush: one a dark rose color, the next a pale pink, and the last a more natural looking red. Jisung holds them each up to Hyunjin's cheeks, hands them over to him after he's looked at them, and asks, “Which one do you like?” Again, Hyunjin is never asked for his opinion when it comes to makeup – or anything that goes on his body for that matter. He's never expected to make any decisions when it comes to his appearance, so this is just a  _ tad  _ bit stressful for him. 

****

“Whichever one you think would look best.” Hyunjin mumbles, thumbing over the compact holding the blushing red color. Jisung eyes him closely, and Hyunjin feels as if he's reading his mind, but he's probably just looking at his skin. Maybe he's doing both. “I think…” Jisung drawls, tapping his ring finger into the red blush, smiling up through his lashes. “This one will look pretty on you.” For some reason, the idea that Jisung thinks he looks  _ pretty _ is something that makes him blush. Why  _ now _ when he's actually applying blush to Hyunjin's cheeks?  _ Why?  _ “Oh,” Jisung squeaks, dabbing small circles onto the apples of Hyunjin's cheeks. “It's more pigmented than I remember it being,” But he's smirking. He  _ knows  _ Hyunjin is blushing, like, from  _ inside _ .

****

“Either way,” Jisung sighs, and the mirror lights catch the glitter flakes under his eyes. If Hyunjin's pounding heart is any indication of how he's feeling, then he is absolutely screwed. It's stupid, he's stupid, and his heart is the most stupid heart he's ever encountered. Still, Jisung is grinning knowingly, and says, “You still look  _ beautiful _ .” 

****

Maybe Hyunjin is just a little screwed. 

****

——

****

After Jisung applies a thin layer of sheer eyeshadow and tight-lines his eyes with a brown liner, he sends him off to the hairstylist, Chan, who is one of the many new people Hyunjin meets on his first day. Chan is a couple years older than Hyunjin, and has a very gentle yet strong aura about him that he openly expresses towards Hyunjin and the other company employees. In fact, Jisung walks Hyunjin over to Chan's office, and Chan's face immediately brightens when they enter the room. 

****

“Jisungie!” he calls, extending his arms towards the makeup artist. “I haven't seen you all week! Have they been keeping you cooped up in the back room or something?” Jisung chuckles, falling into Chan's warm embrace. “Richard has had me doing things outside of my job description,” Chan pulls away from the hug, raising an eyebrow at Jisung, who simply waves off his concern. “It's nothing to worry about. I won't have to worry about it when I get my own office next month,” Jisung turns to look at Hyunjin, giving him a smile before taking his wrist to pull him closer to the two of them. “Anyway, Chan, this is Hyunjin. His interview is today and they're doing a shoot with him.” Chan holds out his hand towards Hyunjin, who smiles nervously. Chan, on the other hand, has a warm smile, bright eyes, deep-set dimples, and a look of complete self-assurance that gives Hyunjin a little more confidence than he previously had.

****

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Hyunjin. I'm Chan, but you can call me Chris if that’s more comfortable for you. I’m the person in charge of people's heads around here. I'll take good care of you – pinky promise.” Chan (Chris? Chan? Chan.) raises his pinky to Hyunjin, and his smile is so genuine, and his dimples are so deep that Hyunjin can't help but return it and curl his pinky around Chan's. “Thank you.” Hyunjin mumbles, looking down at their connected pinkies in an attempt to hide his blushing cheeks from Chan.  _ Is everyone around here gorgeous? _ Hyunjin is tempted to ask, but he already knows the answer is most likely a resounding  _ yes _ .

****

“He  _ is  _ cute, Jisungie,” Chan laughs, tugging the clips from Hyunjin’s hair and ruffling it a bit. “I can see why you were so taken with him.” That gets Hyunjin’s attention. He cranes his neck to see Jisung standing behind him, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, whispering, “Chris, can we  _ not?”  _ Chan raises his hands in defeat and mumbles, “Just sayin’.” before turning to place the clips on his vanity. Jisung sighs and fetches the folder he’d brought with him. 

****

“ _ Anyway _ ,” There’s a lot of sighing going on around Hyunjin, and it’s all coming from Jisung. Chan just grins and it’s still warm, but with a hint of mischief this time. “Here’s the palette and board for the shoot. Let me know if Chan gets on your nerves, Hyunjin.” Jisung sends him a smile that’s just as cute as it is evil. Chan rolls his eyes and tugs Hyunjin towards the styling chair. “Let’s get started, shall we?” 

****

Chan is very good at his job. The long pieces of Hyujin’s hair that hung down over his eyebrows had been clipped back for so long that he kind of resembled a bird, but Chan was able to fix it without even submerging his head in water. In Hyunjin’s experience, hair stylists didn’t spend much time on short hair, and often opted for slicking it back with product instead of taking the time to make it look soft and voluminous. Chan spends about an hour putting soft waves into Hyunjin’s hair with a blow-dryer and a very small round brush, and the outcome is probably Hyunjin’s favorite style someone else has done. His hair is getting quite long in the very front and at his nape, and he feared it would make styling it difficult. Thankfully, Chan is able to make it look surprisingly good.

****

“I have more experience with medium length and long hair, but I definitely prefer styling shorter hair,” Chan explains quietly when Hyunjin questions his preference. His entire work-space is very quiet, which surprises Hyunjin. The lights around the vanity aren’t bright and offensive like others Hyunjin has seen, and soft piano music is playing from a speaker Hyunjin can’t see. Chan’s desk is clean and organized, and there are five leafy plants sitting in the windowsill. It’s a comfortable space, but Hyunjin can definitely tell that Chan is a person in charge at the company. “Your hair is very nice, though. It makes my job a lot easier when clients take care of their hair, so, thank you for that.” Chan continues, breaking Hyunjin out of his thoughts. He glances up from Hyunjin’s hair to meet his eyes in the mirror and raises an eyebrow. 

****

“Something bothering you?” Chan questions. His tone is concerned but not intrusive, and Hyunjin is thankful for the hidden support Chan is providing him – that everyone so far has provided him. “Just nervous, I guess,” Hyunjin sighs and Chan hums before turning off the blow-dryer. “I’m normally pretty relaxed when it comes to work, but this whole situation has thrown me off a little.” Chan pulls a jar out of the vanity drawer and spreads some of the product onto his palms before he begins to shape the curls in Hyunjin’s hair. “That’s kind of the point of Richard doing what he does. He just wants to get in your head and see if you break under the pressure before you even get to show your talents. Jisung and I, we’re actually supposed to be all mean and try to intimidate you before the shoot, but that’s just not how we work,” Chan explains, twisting Hyunjin’s hair around his fingers until he’s satisfied with the way the curl lays. “I hope the interview process hasn’t been too bad for you so far, though. Woojin and his team are in charge of the shoot today, and Minho will be the one styling you, so I think you’re in good hands. You won’t have to worry about Woojin – he’s probably the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, and he loves his job. Minho can be a little snippy sometimes, but he’s a big softy. If he’s mean to you, just tell me. I’ll kick his ass.” Hyunjin laughs along with Chan, but he can tell that the hair stylist is completely serious. It gives Hyunjin a little bit of comfort to know that at least two people here are watching out for him.

****

——

****

Chan sends Hyunjin over to Minho’s office when he deems his hair finished, and Hyunjin can’t stop touching his hair. Amazingly enough, Hyunjin can still run his hands through his hair even with the product in it, and Chan encourages him to use that to his advantage during the shoot. He also encourages him to make conversation with Minho when the meet, and not to be shy around the stylist. “He’s very pretty, but don’t let him scare you,” Chan warns, his hand warm on Hyunjin’s shoulder as they stand outside of Minho’s office.  _ Great.  _

****

“Remember what I said: Richard wants us to get into your head, but that’s not the way we work. Even if it seems like that’s what Minho is doing, it isn’t. That’s not how any of us are. We all want you to succeed, and we’re here to help you along the way. Understand?” Hyunjin nods, afraid that his voice would fail him if he were to speak. No one has ever supported him so genuinely immediately upon meeting him the way Chan has, and that realization has a lump of emotion rising in Hyunjin’s throat.  _ God,  _ he’s such a damn softie. “Good,” Chan smiles, pats him on the shoulder, and turns him around to face the door of Minho’s office. “You’ve got this, Hyunjin. We’ll all be behind the camera the entire time.” Hyunjin nods again, takes a deep breath, and taps his knuckles against the wooden door. 

****

The man who answers the door is a little smaller than Hyunjin in stature, but his presence makes him seem  _ huge _ , and Hyunjin is immediately intimidated. Chan was right: Minho  _ is  _ pretty, and, again, Hyunjin is endlessly terrified of pretty people. His eyes are strikingly catlike, big and alert, lined lightly with brown kohl, and his skin is so clear that Hyunjin could probably see his reflection in it if he looked long enough. That would probably be weird of him to do, though. “Minho,” Chan begins, nudging Hyunjin closer to the doorway, and, consequently, closer to Minho. Minho crosses his arms over his chest and scans his eyes up and down the length of Hyunjin’s body. “This is –” 

****

“The fresh meat. I know, Chan. Jisung hasn’t been able to shut up about him for a week,” Minho’s voice is commanding, and Hyunjin has to force himself not to curl away from his scrutinizing gaze. Minho’s eyes are still raking over his body, and Hyunjin understands that he’s probably just thinking about how the clothes will fit him, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling like Minho is undressing him with his eyes. “I guess I can understand Jisung’s little crush.” Minho’s grin is devious and, frankly, very scary. Hyunjin doesn’t even register that Minho just said Jisung has a crush on him because he’s too busy trying not to literally shiver out of fear. 

****

He’s going to have to undress in front of this man in, like, 10 minutes. 

****

Holy  _ shit _ .

****

“Let’s not reveal Jisung’s secrets for him, yes?” Chan interjects, squeezing Hyunjin’s shoulder lightly. “Anyway, Minho, this is Hyunjin. Be nice to him or I’ll kick your ass.” Minho rolls his eyes and laughs and it’s  _ scary _ . “Oh, you’d love that wouldn’t you,  _ Chris _ ?” Hyunjin’s jaw nearly hits the floor, and Chan doesn’t seem to be in much better shape. He's tempted to turn around and close Chan's mouth for him. Minho just laughs at both of them. “I’m kidding! Christ, you act like you’ve never met me, Chan. Come in, Hyunjin. We’ll get started soon.” Minho holds out his hand to Chan, who hands over the file Jisung gave to him and shoots Hyunjin an assuring look. The two men bicker for just a moment before Minho closes the door and offers Hyunjin a seat. 

****

Minho’s office space is a mix of organized chaos and untouchable cleanliness. His desk has multiple organizers in each corner, none of which are being used properly (in the file separator are multiple books and notebooks, and the drawer organizer beside it is holding various earrings and rings, and it is, most notably, not in a drawer), and his desktop computer has sticky notes all around the perimeter of it (a few say things such as: “ **TAKE MEDS** ”, “ **EAT LUNCH** ”, and “ **CALL MOM** ”, while the rest are work-related notes scribbled in indecipherable handwriting). The space is very interesting to Hyunjin, but only because he can’t understand how someone would effectively function in a place like this. Minho apparently does, and that says a lot more about his personality than Chan did. 

****

“So,” Minho begins, taking a seat at the big rolling chair on the other side of his desk. Hyunjin feels like he’s in the principal’s office about to be interrogated, which is a feeling he isn't familiar with. He doesn't exactly fancy being interrogated. “I’m Minho, and I’ll be your stylist today. I’m not sure what all Chan told you about me, but he and I feel very…  _ strongly _ about each other, so we tend to exaggerate things a bit. I’m not an  _ asshole _ and I’m not a  _ bitch _ – I’m just very particular about how things are done, and that makes me good at my job,” Chan hadn't said any of those things – quite the opposite actually, but Hyunjin isn't going to interject now. Hyunjin also has a feeling that there might be some unresolved sexual tension between Chan and Minho, but, again, he certainly isn’t going to mention it. Minho’s explanation does ease his anxiety a bit, nonetheless. “Anyhow, enough about me,” Minho continues, and stands from his desk. “What kind of clothes do you like to wear, Hyunjin?” Again, Hyunjin is struck with the same surprise he felt when Jisung was doing his makeup – people are actually asking for  _ his  _ opinion, and it’s  _ strange _ . “Whatever they put me in,” he mumbles, pulling at a hangnail on this thumb. He should’ve trimmed his nails. 

****

Minho makes his way over to a rack of clothes on the other side of the room. All of the pieces seem to share a similar color palette – burnt orange, a dark peach color, earthy browns, and a few mustard yellows – but vary in texture and fabric. “No, I mean what makes  _ you  _ feel good? If you aren’t comfortable in your clothes, then you won’t be confident in front of the camera,” Minho shuffles through a few shirts until he comes to a peach colored knit sweater that looks very oversized, even for Hyunjin's tall figure. He hangs that one off to the side. “Are you confident in your body, Hyunjin? You don’t have to be humble – just tell me what you think.” Minho continues to go back and forth between the shirts, picking some out, setting others to the side, and glancing back at Hyunjin every so often. “I guess,” Hyunjin mumbles, watching Minho sift through the clothes. “I’ve never had any reason not to be confident.” 

****

Minho hums and pulls out a dark yellow button-down blouse with slits in the shoulders and down the arms. Hyunjin expects the slits to go all the way down to the elastic at the wrists, but sees that the fabric is held together by small buttons at the elbows. Somehow, it doesn’t look like the buttons belong there. It’s seamless, but Hyunjin has enough experience with clothes to know when something has been altered. So, Minho is  _ that  _ kind of stylist – the kind with a degree in fashion design who has been sewing for as long as he could hold silverware properly.  _ Interesting _ . Now that he’s looking around, Hyunjin sees two framed diplomas are hanging on the wall behind the rack of clothes, almost as if Minho is trying to hide them from his guests.  _ Very interesting. _

****

“Would you be comfortable wearing something like this?” He holds the blouse up for Hyunjin to see, and beckons him over. Hyunjin nods, rubs the fabric between his fingers, and Minho brings a sleeve up to Hyunjin’s cheek. “Jisung did a really good job on your makeup. It gives me a lot of options,” Minho’s eyes scan over his face, land on his ears, and he breaks into a smile. “You have your ears pierced?” he questions. Hyunjin nods, thumbing at his earlobes. “How many?” Minho sets the blouse aside and goes back to his desk, pulling the drawer organizer into his lap to look through the earrings. 

****

“I have two lobe piercings in each ear, and two cartilage in my right ear. In my left ear I have two forward helix piercings and one cartilage. Does that help?” Minho smiles and picks out three dangling earrings and six golden studs. “That is a tremendous help, Hyunjin. Thank you,” Minho gathers the earrings into his palm and hands them over to Hyunjin. “Could you put these in for me while I get your measurements? There’s a mirror on the wall behind you,” Minho instructs. He pulls a long measuring tape from his front pocket, and answers Hyunjin’s question before it can even leave his lips. “Put them in wherever you see fit. Next time, I'll let you pick them out, too.” Minho smiles, and there’s nothing mischievous about it. It’s genuine, and Hyunjin finds himself smiling as well. Maybe Minho is really as soft as Chan said.

****

——

****

Over the next hour, Minho dresses Hyunjin in tight brown high-waisted pants, and the same mustard-colored blouse he pulled out early in the hour. It’s a rather simple outfit, a little old-fashioned, but all of Minho’s details make it eye-catching: the gold embroidery Minho sewed around the pockets of the trousers, the dark faux leather belt hugging Hyunjin’s waist, the thin gold chain that hangs over his exposed collarbones, and the dark peach-colored knit sweater Minho drapes carefully over his shoulders. The sweater is probably Hyunjin’s favorite part of the outfit, as he keeps finding himself tugging the sleeves down over his hands, but the pants are a close second. Hyunjin doesn’t typically wear high-waisted pants since his legs are already so long, but these fit perfectly and manage to hug every subtle curve of his body. Instead of looking lanky and shapeless, his body looks toned and proportionate. It’s a nice change.

****

Once Minho deems him ready, he escorts him down the hallway to the room where the shoot will take place. From outside the heavy glass doors, Hyunjin can hear numerous people walking on the set paper, yelling over each other, and the sound of the camera shutter closing and adjusting. He can see the flash of the lightbulbs behind the screens, the neutral fabric background, and the heads of at least 20 people fumbling around with the set. All of it combined only makes Hyunjin more nervous, and it must be obvious.

****

Minho pulls him around the corner, places both hands on his shoulders, and shushes him quietly before he can ask any questions. “You’re okay, Hyunjin. There’s still about 25 minutes before the shoot actually starts for Jisung, Chan, and I to do final touch-ups and for you to meet Woojin and his team. Woojin will make sure you’re comfortable the entire time. He’ll literally stop the shoot if he sees that you’re uncomfortable, and I know that because I’ve seen him do it multiple times,” Minho chuckles and it makes Hyunjin feel a bit less anxious.

****

“You have a great team behind you, Hyunjin. You have nothing to be nervous about, but it’s okay that you’re nervous. I’m nervous, too. Chan and Jisung are nervous. Woojin is nervous. We’re all nervous because we want to do our best,” Minho moves his hands from Hyunjin’s shoulders to his hair, moving a couple pieces here and there. He messes with Hyunjin’s earrings a little, turning the studs and making sure the dangling earrings are facing the right way before adjusting his shirt, tucking it under his belt just slightly. Minho undoes one more button at the top of the blouse, and loosens the chain around his neck so it hangs further down his chest. The subtle touches calm Hyunjin the slightest bit, and he allows Minho to do as he wishes with his clothing and jewelry. 

****

“We all want you to do your best. We all know you’ll do your best, so we’re not nervous for you,” Minho glances down at his watch, sighs, and gives Hyunjin’s shoulder one last squeeze. “Time to go. I have to do some final checks with Woojin’s team, so you’ll be with Chan and Jisung for the next few minutes. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” 

****

Minho pulls Hyunjin back in front of the doors, but Hyunjin stops before he can open them. “Minho,” he says, his grip on Minho’s wrist a little tighter. Minho raises an eyebrow, waits patiently for Hyunjin to continue. “Thank you. For everything. No one at work has ever treated me as well as you all have today, and I know you weren’t even supposed to. I really appreciate it. You guys caring, I mean.” Minho smiles genuine and wide at Hyunjin’s fumbling words, and Hyunjin’s nerves are nearly calm solely because of it.  _ They care.  _

****

“It’s our pleasure, Hyunjin.”

****

——

****

Jisung has moved all of his necessary items into a smaller carry-on bag to transport them to the main shooting room. There's no space for him to lay them out, so Hyunjin watches as he digs through the bag to get what he needs. After a few seconds of shuffling around, Chan holding the bag open for him, and the removal of three stray eyeliners (Jisung was surprised with the discovery of each one), Jisung finally finds a small compact of gold glitter flakes. “I found these in my desk and thought we could put them under your eyes for a little extra sparkle. Something to catch the camera.” Jisung explains. He's holding a tiny gold flake with tweezers using one hand, and dabbing eyelash glue onto it with the other. How his hands aren't shaking, Hyunjin has no clue. Chan seems to be equally as impressed being that his mouth is wide open in shock. Maybe Chan just does that. Or he’s very easy to impress. Jisung, however, is too focused to notice either of them staring at him. 

****

Jisung coats six flakes in glue quickly and sets them carefully on the back of his hand before he spreads his legs apart to be at eye level with Hyunjin. “Look up for me,” Jisung breathes. He's close, so very close to Hyunjin's face with a toothpick coming at his eye. Hyunjin does as he's told because he's used to this, and nothing affects his eyes anymore, but Jisung being this close to his face is kind of affecting his eyes. It's not the toothpick slathered with enough eyelash glue to stick his eyelids together for 2-3 business days – no, it's just a  _ pretty boy _ who happens to be all the way in Hyunjin's personal space, but in a good way. It's ironic how these things work. “Look over towards Chan,” Jisung nods his head to the right and holds Hyunjin's chin between two fingers to steady him. “Stay very still for me, Hyunjin. I don't want to poke you in the eye.” Jisung is whispering at this point, and they're only a breath away from each other. If Hyunjin so much as flinches, his nose will brush against Jisung's and he'll get poked by the toothpick. Jisung is doing dangerous work with a steady hand all while testing Hyunjin's willpower as a gay man. 

****

It's a little torturous.

****

One eye is finished, and Hyunjin lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding the second Jisung steps back. Chan shoots him a knowing glance, covers his chuckle with his hand, and Hyunjin doesn't even have it in him right now to glare. He has three gold flakes placed carefully between three sections of his lower lash line, and it feels similar to having false eyelashes on (Jisung insisted he didn't need false eyelashes and questioned why a makeup artist would ever put them on him. Hyunjin blushed for absolutely no good reason when he said that). 

****

He hasn't seen the final outcome yet because Jisung still has to finish his other eye, but he can feel that the flakes are placed at exact distances from each other. Chan is still watching them carefully as Jisung moves to his left eye, crouching down once again. “Look up, please,” One flake in the center of his lash line. Jisung holds his hand out behind him, motioning for Chan to hand him something, and jokingly says, “Nurse Chan, get me the scalpel.” Chan snorts, and hands Jisung what looks to be the tiniest comb Hyunjin has ever seen. Accompanying the tiny comb is an equally tiny grin lifting Jisung's cheeks, and Hyunjin has never wanted to poke somebody this badly in his  _ life _ .

****

“I'm just going to separate your eyelashes a little bit to get these all lined up right. Just tilt your head back a little and look up for me, okay?” says Jisung. He uses the comb and the toothpick to section Hyunjin's eyelashes, and brings them together in the middle. It feels oddly ticklish. “You okay?” Jisung asks, leaning away from Hyunjin's face. He hums and tilts his head back again. This time, Jisung comes around to the side of the chair and supports Hyunjin's head with his hand against the back of his neck. “Almost done.” he whispers. Jisung is placing the last flake of gold under his eye when Minho comes over. 

****

“What the hell are you doing to him, Jisung? Mildly invasive surgery?” Minho exclaims. He moves to Hyunjin's other side, bumps Chan out of the way with his hip, and looks down at the gold lining Hyunjin's lashes with a smile. 

****

“Ah, Jisung, you goddamn genius. You fuckin’  _ prodigy. _ ” Jisung grins and gives his eyelashes one last comb-through before he cards his hand through the back of Hyunjin's hair, tugging at one of the braids there. Chan added small braids with strings of gold wrapped around them just a few minutes before Jisung arrived, and Jisung had been playing with them absentmindedly ever since. Hyunjin sits up in the chair, blinks a few times, and closes his eyes when Jisung presses two cotton swabs under his lashes. “Don't blink too much or you'll smear your mascara.” Jisung wipes away the tears gathering at the corners of Hyunjin's eyes, and carefully touches up his eye makeup. A few minutes later, Minho comes over with a small contact case. “Do you mind wearing contacts? Richard requested it, but I'll tell him to fuck off if you don't want to wear them.” Hyunjin snickers and laughs fully when Chan and Jisung do the same. “It's okay, I'll wear them.” Hyunjin replies. The contacts have a wide circumference that will definitely cover Hyunjin's brown irises with the pale green lenses. Jisung holds a mirror in front of him while he puts the contacts in, and dabs cotton swabs around his eyes once again. “Perfect.” Minho comments, smiling down at Hyunjin. “I think you're ready to meet Woojin and his team,” Chan enters. “They're all set up and ready whenever you are, Hyunjin.” 

****

Hyunjin looks around him. Minho and Chan are both smiling at him, encouraging, ready to catch him should he fall. Jisung, on the other hand, is smiling softly, looking at Hyunjin with something other than assurance in his eyes. He looks fond, but Hyunjin can’t let his mind linger on that thought for too long. Everyone is waiting for him.

****

Jisung's eyes wander over to him one last time, checking for any imperfections in his work, his fingers fidgeting with his necklace. His eyes come to land on the thin chain around Hyunjin's neck, and suddenly widen. “Wait! Idea!” Jisung spins around in his chair, digging through his makeup bag hurriedly. He pulls out a white compact and a thick angled brush, and turns back to Hyunjin. “Can I undo one more button on your shirt really quick?” Jisungs asks, dusting the brush off on the back of his wrist. Hyunjin nods and moves to unbutton his shirt, but Jisung beats him to it. It's probably a good thing – Jisung's hands are much steadier right now. In the white compact, Hyunjin sees a shimmering gold highlighter that looks dark, but is probably rather sheer against the skin. Jisung taps his ring finger into it and wipes the swatch on the back of his hand to show to Hyunjin. “So, you already have highlighter on your cheeks, but it's a little more natural-looking than this one. I'm actually going to put this one on your collarbones to help the light reflect off the jewelry more, and to define your bone structure since it's so nice. Is that okay?” Makeup artists had put body makeup on Hyunjin before, but it was typically a type of glittering lotion that they rubbed into any exposed skin. Since he was underage, makeup artists were always trying to find new ways to make it look like Hyunjin was more naked than he really was. 

****

“That's fine.” Hyunjin replies, holding the collar of his shirt open to keep the makeup from getting on the clothes. Jisung sprays the brush a few times with what Hyunjin assumes is setting spray, coats the brush in highlighter, and taps the excess product off on the compact. Before he applies it to Hyunjin's skin, he turns the desk light on the vanity so it’s facing Hyunjin, marks where the light reflects on this collarbones, and then swipes the highlighter at the highest points of his bones. Chan and Minho watch in fascination as Jisung carefully applies the gold shadow to Hyunjin's chest. Hyunjin tilts his chin up, trying not to block the light from the desk lamp, and catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror behind Jisung.

****

Oh.

Oh,  _ fuck _ .

He looks  _ good.  _

****

Hyunjin has never been one to compliment himself, but right now was probably the best he's ever looked for a shoot. His makeup is phenomenal – all gold tones, warm colors, and glossy lips. Jisung has somehow managed to make his eyelids look  _ wet _ without it feeling like there was any product at all. The flakes of gold around his eyes only add to the illusion of warmth that his outfit provides. Against the soft beige backdrop, Hyunjin can imagine why Jisung said the camera would be  _ enraptured _ by him. Hyunjin doesn’t look anything like himself, but, at the same time, he feels exactly like himself. The confidence that Chan, Minho, and Jisung have managed to instill in him during their short time together is coursing through his body at full speed, and he can’t imagine ever being more prepared for this moment. 

****

Jisung is carefully unfurling Hyunjin’s dazed grasp on his shirt with gentle hands and buttoning it back up when Woojin approaches them. Hyunjin knows it’s him because Chan had described him as, “Tall, dark, and mouth-wateringly handsome. I nearly pissed myself the first time I saw him.” Unfortunately, Chan was  _ very _ correct: Woojin is devastatingly gorgeous, and Hyunjin is appropriately devastated. His appearance is soft overall – the loose black turtleneck sweater, the ripped jeans, messy hair, the wire-rimmed glasses – but Hyunjin can sense a fire in him. Everyone here has such a commanding presence, and Hyunjin is beginning to wonder whether or not he can function in a room containing so many strong-willed people. 

****

“Hyunjin, right?” Woojin comes to a stop in front of the chair and lays a hand on Jisung’s shoulder. Hyunjin nods, giving Woojin a timid smile, which he returns with ease. “I’m Woojin, the lead photographer for the company. My team and I will be taking your pictures today. Are you guys ready to get started?” Woojin’s voice reminds Hyunjin of warm honey, his eyes like pools of dark chocolate. He can definitely understand why Chan’s bladder allegedly acted up when they first met; Hyunjin’s organs are working on escaping his body at any moment out of pure, fluttering nervousness.

****

Jisung, who is apparently the only one immune to Woojin’s existence, gives Hyunjin a pat on the shoulder. “Just do your best. That’s all we can ask of you,” Jisung whispers, giving Hyunjin an encouraging smile. “We’ll all be right here the entire time. Promise you'll tell me if you need anything?” Jisung’s voice is low as he brings his pinky up to curl it around Hyunjin’s, but still so gentle. Jisung's warmth has already spread to Hyunjin, and he is beginning to think he’ll never feel cold again.

****

“Promise.”

****

——

****

The initial shoot went extremely well – so well, in fact, that Hyunjin was hired on the spot. Before Woojin even had a chance to show Richard the preliminary shots, Richard had pulled Hyunjin aside and was rambling about contracts and salaries and employee benefits as if Hyunjin was even considering not taking the job. Hyunjin barely heard any of it. The shoot was such a rush, but at the same time, Hyunjin had never felt so comfortable in his own skin in front of a camera. Woojin was excellent at giving directions, his team had prepared a spotless setting for the shoot, and Hyunjin had three department heads and one very talented makeup artist there to support him. The shoot couldn't have gone better, and Hyunjin could honestly say that he was excited to start working for the company. 

****

Chan, Minho, and Jisung congratulate him immediately, of course. Chan and Minho both give him warm pats on the shoulder, and Jisung gives him a short side hug. The three follow him back to Jisung's work area and the dressing room to see him off. 

****

“You were amazing, Hyunjin,” Chan compliments, helping Jisung pack up his carry-on bag. “Seriously.” Minho adds, giving Hyunjin another smack to the shoulder. Hyunjin hasn’t stopped smiling since he stepped off the set. “It's thanks to you guys, you know,” Hyunjin begins, twisting the slim edge of his belt around his fingers. He feels three pairs of eyes turn to look at him, and keeps focused on his hands so he could properly thank the team without stuttering too badly. “You guys made me feel confident and beautiful, and you encouraged me all day. I… I really appreciate it.” Hyunjin hears a collective coo from the group, and looks up to see who it was that made the sound. From the looks of it, it was probably Chan, who has his lower lip sticking out and the biggest puppy dog eyes Hyunjin has ever seen. He really didn’t think the hair stylist’s dimples could get any deeper, but, here they are. 

****

“You don't have to thank us, Hyunjin,” Minho speaks first, coming closer to poke at Hyunjin's cheeks. “It's our job to make you feel confident and secure. It's your job to express that confidence and inspire other people. We're all a team here.” Hyunjin feels his eyes water at Minho's sincere words, and takes one of his hands, squeezing it between both of his own. “Thank you, Minho. Really, thank you.” Minho just nods, smiles softly, and bids Hyunjin goodbye, promising to see him the next day. Chan follows soon after, but places a small piece of paper into Hyunjin's hand before leaving.

****

“There's mine and Minho's cell phone numbers. He would never give it to you personally, so, I'm doing the honors instead.” Chan grins, closing Hyunjin's fingers around the ripped paper. “Thanks, Chan.” he mumbles, tucking the paper away safely into the pocket of his backpack. Chan smiles, gives him one last pat on the back, and leaves Hyunjin and Jisung alone in the dressing room. 

****

It isn’t exactly surprising, but Hyunjin doesn’t really want to say goodbye to Jisung just yet. If he had any nerve about him, he would ask the makeup artist on a date right here and now, but it's still early. It's still soon. They've technically only known each other for a day, and that's not enough time to decide if you like someone. It’s more than enough time to admire someone’s beauty, but not enough time to really  _ know  _ someone. Hyunjin has just convinced himself to give Jisung space when he speaks up: “If you want, you can sit down and I'll take your makeup off for you. I don't want that glue to get in your eyes.” Jisung is still packing up his things, placing palettes and brushes meticulously into the bigger travel bag and the carry-on, but he glances over his shoulder to make sure Hyunjin is listening. 

****

“Uh,” Hyunjin sputters, feeling around in his backpack for his change of clothes. “Let me change first, and then if you would, that would be great.” Jisung hums and stands up straight, stretching his back out. “Sure. You can put the clothes you're wearing now on the rack in the dressing room. Minho will come by to pick them up tomorrow. I should be ready by the time you're done.” Hyunjin nods, hands fisted around the bundle of clothes in his bag. He’s not even sure what he’s grabbing at – sweatpants maybe? Some clean underwear, hopefully. 

****

Hyunjin thanks his past-self with every ounce of his being when he sees a gray pair of sweatpants and a black sweatshirt with clean underwear and socks bundled up inside. Thank god. Thank every god. He changes quickly, tugging on his clothes and straightening his hair before hanging Minho's clothes on the rack. Jisung has his desk and vanity wiped clean when he comes back out, and has retrieved makeup remover and cotton pads from his bag. He smiles when Hyunjin sits down in the chair in front of him. “You did really well today,” Jisung begins, tipping the bottle of makeup remover onto a dry cotton pad. “I've seriously never seen Richard get so excited about a new model. He must've really seen something in you,” Jisung holds two wet cotton pads between his fingers, and pushes Hyunjin's hair away from his forehead with a hairband.

****

“Close your eyes for me,” he mumbles, tucking stray strands of hair behind Hyunjin's ears. With his eyes closed, Hyunjin feels Jisung drag the cotton pads over his eyebrows, his eyelids, and across his forehead. He applies a bit of pressure to his eyelids, making sure the eyeshadow all transfers onto the pad. “The glue under your eyes might be kind of a pain to get off, so I'll apologize in advance for pulling your eyelashes. I'll try to be gentle.” Jisung says all of this while rubbing clean cotton pads into Hyunjin's skin, taking the foundation and powder with it. He just hums and waits for Jisung's next instructions. 

****

“You can open your eyes, Hyunjin,” he can  _ hear  _ the smile in Jisung's voice, feel that he was just a reach away, and something in Hyunjin is telling him to wrap his arms around Jisung's waist – to thank him for everything he's done today. Before he can decide whether or not that idea is a good one, Jisung turns around with a pair of tweezers and two new cotton pads. 

****

“So, I'll have to press the cotton pad onto the gold flakes for just a second to dissolve the adhesive, and then I should be able to pick them up pretty easily. Just lean back and look up for me,” Jisung sits down in the rolling chair next to Hyunjin and adjusts the headrest on the other chair so Hyunjin can lean back comfortably. “Try to relax,” Jisung says, and lays his hand against Hyunjin's on the armrest. “I'll be quick, I promise.” He hooks his pinky under Hyunjin's and squeezes slightly, motioning for Hyunjin to look up over his head. 

****

Jisung is very careful when pressing the cotton pads against Hyunjin's skin; he rests his pinky at the corner of his eye to make sure none of the makeup remover drips into it, and places his other hand against the crown of Hyunjin's head, tugging his fingers through the loose waves not still matted down with hairspray. Hyunjin is fighting to keep his eyes open just from Jisung's gentle ministrations. “Look up for me,” Jisung reminds, tapping Hyunjin's cheek with his pinky. Hyunjin hadn't even noticed that Jisung finished one eye and was moving to the other. “I've seriously never had someone be this calm while I'm coming at their eyes with a pair of tweezers. It's kind of amazing, actually.” Jisung comments, smiling down at Hyunjin, who peeks out of one eye to watch. Jisung has an irresistible smile. 

****

“You're kind of helping the calm factor. Playin’ with my hair and stuff.” Hyunjin murmurs, closing his eyes again so he can’t see Jisung's reaction to his poor attempt at flirting. All he hears is a slight choking sound and then Jisung clearing his throat before he pulls the gold flakes from beneath Hyunjin's eyes. “I–I'm happy to help,” Even Jisung's  _ stuttering  _ is grossly endearing. Hyunjin is having a  _ crisis _ behind his closed eyes and sealed lips. Dammit. 

****

Jisung, being the efficient professional that he is, finishes removing Hyunjin’s makeup in less than 10 minutes, and packs the remover and cotton pads into his carry-on bag. “Remember to wash your face when you get home. Everything I used on your skin today was pretty gentle, so I wouldn’t worry about breakouts or anything, but let me know if your skin feels sensitive tomorrow,” Jisung slings his bag over his shoulder, and holds out his hand towards Hyunjin. “Can I put my number in your phone? Just in case you have any issues or Richard is bothering you or anything.” Hyunjin smiles at Jisung’s nervous tone, taps his phone screen a few times, and hands it over to Jisung. 

****

“Seriously, let me know if you need anything. I know this place can be a little overwhelming at first.” Jisung’s hand lingers against Hyunjin’s for a moment as a gentle smile makes its way to his cheeks. He looks a little worn out, but still just as stunning as when Hyunjin first laid eyes on him this morning. The gold highlighter is still glistening against his skin, his eyes are still bright and soft, and his voice is still as warm and comforting as it had been almost eight hours ago. Hyunjin wants to stay here, to simply exist in Jisung’s presence for a little while longer, and let his warmth seep into his bones. 

****

Instead of that, Hyunjin settles for a quiet, “Thank you.” He’ll see Jisung tomorrow, anyway. And the day after that. And the day after that.

****

**_— November 12th_ **

****

The strange thing about working for a company is that Hyunjin doesn't actually have a manager. He's part of a team – made up of Chan, Minho, Jisung and Woojin, who have all quickly become some of his favorite people – but he doesn't have a manager watching his every move and dictating his schedule. It's a nice change. Chan is the closest person Hyunjin has to a manager since he's constantly reminding Hyunjin of his schedules and what he has to do during the day, but Chan is also the manager of an entire department. Keeping people on task is part of his job description, as well as a part of his personality. Chan and Minho keep their respective departments running like a well-oiled machine, so it’s no surprise that they do the same for Hyunjin and Jisung. 

****

Speaking of Jisung, he is the only one on their team who doesn't have other duties to attend to. Richard marked Jisung off the list of available makeup artists for events, and assigned him to Hyunjin specifically the day after his first shoot. Because Richard is so enthusiastic about Hyunjin's new role in the company, he's loaded him up with schedules, and, consequently, filled Jisung's schedule as well. The two barely have time to breathe between schedules, let alone have actual conversations together. Still, Jisung always texts Hyunjin at night, asks if he got home safe, and reminds him to wash his face and set his alarm before he goes to sleep. Their relationship is one of mutual care and respect for each other, but Hyunjin still finds himself aching to pull Jisung aside during the day and just _talk_ – to settle the lines carved so deep into his features and find out why they’ve made a home in Jisung’s tan skin. Stress? Lack of rest? Hyunjin is curious about everything that is Jisung, everything that makes him _him._

****

Nevertheless, Chan, Minho, and Woojin make sure Hyunjin and Jisung aren't being overworked. The older three seem to feel like that have a responsibility to look after Jisung and Hyunjin. Woojin especially is very observant of Jisung, and knows when and where he has to be every day. Woojin also seems to have some authority over Richard, and alters Jisung's schedule accordingly if the younger is obviously exhausted or hasn't had a lunch break yet. Chan and Minho do the same for Hyunjin – they watch over him, and take it upon themselves to make sure he’s comfortable in every new situation the company presents him with. 

****

Minho is more subtle than Chan when it comes to looking out for Hyunjin – popping his head into the shooting room to give Hyunjin sips of water between shoots, personally tailoring Hyunjin’s clothes to fit his long legs, and sending nasty glares at anyone who speaks negatively about his teammates. Chan, on the other hand, is very open with his affection towards Hyunjin: he brings the entire team lunch on Wednesdays and Fridays (their busy days), and never accepts payment for it; he happily interrupts conversations when Hyunjin is noticeably uncomfortable, and he makes sure to give Hyunjin a tight hug at the end of every day, and tell him, “You did a really great job today. We’re all very proud of you.” Chan is quite possibly the most intuitively comforting person Hyunjin has ever had the pleasure of meeting. He’s a natural leader, and Hyunjin is fairly sure he’d follow him anywhere.

****

Jisung is somewhat of an enigma to Hyunjin – some days, he’s openly very loving towards his teammates, and other days, he’s a little more closed off. Hyunjin has quickly picked up on the pattern of these days: Jisung has faculty meetings on Mondays and Thursdays, and Chan had mentioned something about his promotion being delayed because of “inadequate skill,” or some bullshit like that. Hyunjin was beyond furious upon hearing this, and was on his way to knock on Richard’s door himself and give him a piece of his mind, but Minho quickly stepped in and talked him out of it. 

****

“He’ll just take it out on Jisung,” he explained, hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders to keep him seated in Chan’s styling chair. “Richard has no respect for any of us – especially not for the young ones. Jisung is the youngest and the least experienced, so Richard can blame anything on him. He wouldn’t fire you, but he would fire Jisung in a heartbeat,” Minho sighed, let go of Hyunjin’s shoulders, and smoothed his shirt back out. “Better to keep quiet and give Jisung his space than to blow up and make him dread coming to work.” 

****

Mondays and Thursdays are a bit of a struggle for all of them. Jisung is quietly energetic – a warm ray of light in their fast-paced days, and to have that light suddenly taken away took some getting used to. One thing that Hyunjin has noticed about Jisung is that he is most easily comforted by touch. Whenever Woojin sees Jisung, he immediately gives his shoulder a squeeze, laces their fingers together, or brushes his hair away from his eyes. Chan always hugs him. Minho presses barely-there kisses into his hair as a way of saying hello and as a parting gesture. Hyunjin takes notice of the gentle reassurances his teammates offer Jisung, and he soon finds himself curling his pinky around Jisung’s whenever the other is anxious, upset, or tired. Occasionally the gesture is accompanied with a whispered, “It’ll be okay,” or “I’m right here.” 

****

Jisung responds well to it, so Hyunjin keeps doing it. It still doesn’t stop him from wanting to wrap Jisung in his arms and hold him against his chest until his anxieties are gone – until he has no reason to chew on his lips and tug at the chain around his neck. It still doesn’t stop Jisung from thinking that he isn’t good enough after being told just that for an hour. It still doesn’t change Richard’s mind about Jisung’s endless talents, but it comforts him a bit. That’s all Hyunjin can hope for – to offer Jisung a bit of comfort; to encourage and support him the same way Jisung has been since they’d first met.

****

Jisung’s good days are full of warmth: warm smiles, warm eyes, a warm voice. On those days, Hyunjin wants nothing more than to bottle his warmth, save it for when Jisung is feeling down, and offer it to him in hopes of easing his spirit. Jisung is always astonishingly calm, even when he’s excited or overly-caffeinated, and he brings a type of balance to their team that Hyunjin never expected to see. Jisung is all light touches, gentle glances, and reassuring words. Jisung is everything that they all need, and Hyunjin has never grown to love someone as quickly and genuinely as he does Jisung.

****

Hyunjin never expected to regard his coworkers with the same affection as his closest friends, but his team made it very difficult not to love them. They work extraordinarily well together, and Hyunjin can honestly say that he's never been so happy to be completely and totally exhausted. His only issue is that he doesn’t get to spend enough time with them – specifically with Jisung. Hyunjin knows that his schedule will be less packed after a few months of work, but that doesn’t ease his mind when it comes to problems  _ now _ . 

****

There’s only one window of time when Jisung and Hyunjin are alone with no one to interrupt and only one duty to fulfill: when Hyunjin is having his makeup done. Jisung is fast, impressively so, and usually only two hours of time are allotted for makeup depending on the complexity of the shoot, which leaves them little to no time to actually talk. Hyunjin’s makeup takes longer than most since he has visible tattoos that Jisung has to take time covering, and that gives him an idea: if he had more tattoos, Jisung would have to be given more time to do his makeup. It’s a little evil and it’ll cost Hyunjin money, but he thinks it’ll be worth it to spend more time one-one-one with Jisung. Now that Hyunjin has an idea of what he has to do, he only has to put his plan into action. He has to get more tattoos.

********  
  


**_— December 2nd_ **

****

Hyunjin starts off with something Jisung can easily incorporate into his normal routine of covering his tattoos: he adds branches decorated with little flower buds to the vines snaking around his wrist. It was simple and delicate, but the black is still definitely a contrast to his pale white skin. It’s an obvious tattoo, and it would have to be covered for every shoot. It’s a pretty foolproof plan. 

****

On the bus home, Hyunjin sends a photo of his fresh tattoo to the team group chat: 

****

**hyunjin:** **[attached photo] added some lil details :D you like? ;P**

**chan:** **whoa :o looks good!**

**minho:** **very pretty hyunjinnie**

**jisung:** **ooooo i luv :3**

**woojin:** **so pretty!! :D so decorative!! :D**

****

Once Hyunjin is satisfied with the group’s answers, he opens a separate chat with just Chan and Minho, explaining that he didn’t inform Richard about his plan to get new ink. For someone who displays his body for a living, Hyunjin is very secure in his right to change it without consulting anyone first. Nevertheless, his teammates are as supportive as always of his decisions:

****

**chan:** **i think he’ll be fine w it. if he isn’t, he will be soon. it’s your body, hyunjin**

**minho:** **^^^ i’ll beat him up if he doesn’t like it. i’ve been itching to kick some ass lately**

**hyunjin:** **but will he give jisung more time to do my makeup? i'm afraid he won't be done in time : <**

**minho:** **don’t worry abt that – woojin will delay the shoot if one of us doesn’t have enough time to get you ready. he can do that ya know**

**chan:** **^^ exactly. don’t stress abt richard, hyunjinnie. if there’s a problem minho and i can’t solve, woojin can definitely solve it :)**

**hyunjin:** **i’m just worried abt jisung…**

**chan:** **so are we, jinnie. he knows how to take care of himself though, so don't worry too much**

**minho:** **having longer to do your makeup might give him more time to calm down after meetings tho… do i smell a plan??**

**hyunjin:** **… possibly**

**chan:** **oh hyunjin, you sweet sweet child**

**minho:** **you pure precious baby…**

**minho:** **pure precious baby with a crush on our jisungie ;)**

**hyunjin:** **okay great!!! glad we got that figured out!!!! see you tomorrow!!!!!!**

**chan:** **♡♡ ;)**

**minho:** **mwah mwah**

****

——

****

“This is really pretty,” Jisung turns Hyunjin’s wrist over in his hand, examining the healing tattoo. “Did it hurt?” he questions, looking up to meet Hyunjin’s eyes briefly. Hyunjin smiles – that’s always the first question people ask. “No more than it did the first time. It’s a little tender around the bone and on my pinky, but it’s not too bad.” Jisung hums, dusting a thin layer of powder on the skin. “I’ve been thinking about getting a tattoo, but I’m not sure what I would get. What do you think?” Now it’s Hyunjin’s turn to hum. He watches as Jisung covers his wrist with the pale foundation, spreading it around with a sponge. It’s therapeutic – the way he holds and positions his wrist so gently, patting the liquid into his skin. 

****

“Anything meaningful is always a safe bet for your first tattoo,” Hyunjin responds, rotating his wrist before Jisung has to ask him to. “My first one was the little sun on my hand. It’s for my grandfather.” Jisung grins, finishes up his wrist with more powder, and moves to the tree on the back of his forearm since Hyunjin will be wearing short sleeves for the shoot today. “That’s cute. Do you mind if I ask you to elaborate?” Jisung wheels behind him in his rolling chair, pushes up his sleeve, and Hyunjin lifts his arm away from his shirt to give him better access.

****

“Not at all. My grandfather, he was always outside. He had a garden in the backyard that he grew vegetables and flowers in all year long. There were certain flowers that he only grew in the winter, and it inspired him, I think. To be as resilient as his flowers, I mean,” Jisung straightens Hyunjin’s elbow, brings himself closer before covering the tattoo. “Since he was outside so much, his skin was really tan. His friends always commented on it during the Summer. They’d ask my grandmother, ‘ _ Does Hyunjae ever come inside? His skin is so dark, you’d think he lived on the equator. _ ’ Didn’t bother him, though,” A tap of powder against Hyunjin’s skin tells him that Jisung is ready to move onto his face. He leans back in the chair, watching Jisung set up everything he needs to get started on his makeup. 

****

“I’ve always associated him with the sun, I guess. I got the tattoo after he passed away. I was really close with him, and it felt like my life was a little bit darker without him. Dim, I guess. The tattoo makes me feel like a part of him is still here, even if he isn’t here physically,” Jisung hums, listening intently even though his mind is preoccupied with the products in his hands and where to place them on Hyunjin's skin. 

****

“Sorry, I’m kinda rambling. I know you’re trying to focus,” Hyunjin knows his speech gets a little slurred and difficult to understand when he talks for too long, so Jisung is probably struggling to hear him anyway. His English still isn’t perfect – Hyunjin would consider himself fluent, but his English is still occasionally accented in the wrong places and still a bit choppy at times, but it’s definitely better than it used to be – and Jisung isn’t proficient enough in Korean for either of them to speak completely comfortably. 

****

That’s something that has been heavy on his mind lately: just communicating with Jisung is so easy, feels so natural, but it’s also a little straining when Hyunjin can’t always correctly convey his thoughts. Hyunjin is about to apologize again when Jisung tilts his chin up, runs a hand through his hair, and clips his bangs back all with his soft gaze focused down on Hyunjin.

****

“I’m trying to focus on  _ you _ ,” Jisung pokes his cheeks, enunciating his words, and Hyunjin grins. He tucks Hyunjin’s hair behind his ears before turning to the vanity to grab the bottle of primer. “I asked, and you explained. Thank you for telling me about you grandfather. It sounds like he really means a lot to you.” Jisung smiles, smoothes the primer over Hyunjin’s skin with his fingertips, and Hyunjin can’t help but return his affections. “Yeah, of course.” 

****

“Let’s get started, shall we?” 

****

**_— December 4th_ **

****

They’re shooting for a magazine in New York that Hyunjin can’t be bothered to remember the name of. All he knows is that Jisung is doing very minimal makeup on him today because he’ll be modeling 13 different outfits during the shoot. Chan, Minho and Jisung have an hour in between each outfit to redo his hair, fix any detailing on his clothes, and touch up his makeup. It’s not nearly enough time, but Woojin says that they have to finish and send the preliminary shots of all 13 outfits by midnight or the magazine will drop them. 

****

“Drop us? What do you mean they’ll drop us?” Hyunjin asks between sips of Gatorade. Richard won’t let them break for lunch, so Minho is struggling to feed Hyunjin bites of a granola bar between cuts while rationing pieces to his other teammates, as well. Chan is sucking on a lollipop and blow-drying his hair for the third time today while Jisung reapplies his lip gloss and puts drops in his eyes. They’re using fans today for some god-awful reason, and it’s starting to make Hyunjin’s eyes red and irritated. Jisung is doing everything in his power to keep the model as comfortable as possible in the cramped space, and if Hyunjin didn't regard him as an angel before, he certainly would've by now. 

****

“It means they’ll expel us from the shoot, and Richard will be on our asses for  _ months  _ if that happens,” Woojin explains. He’s sucking down a venti iced coffee like it’s his only sustenance, and Hyunjin has a passing thought that, yeah, it actually  _ is  _ right now. The granola bar is making its rounds, but Woojin keeps pushing his pieces towards Jisung, who accepts them gratefully. 

****

“For your sake, I really don’t want that to happen. Knowing Richard, he’d punish you and Jisung because you’re the newest on the team, and I  _ really _ don’t want that to happen.” Minho shoves another piece of the granola bar in Woojin’s direction, and leans closer to Hyunjin to whisper, “Over my dead body will Richard punish you two.” Woojin raises an eyebrow at Hyunjin’s grin, but chews on the granola instead of asking questions. 

****

“You’re almost finished, Jinnie. Woojin, how much time do we have?” Chan asks around the lollipop in his mouth, turning off the blow-dryer and running his hands through Hyunjin’s newly-straightened hair. “About seven minutes. Hyunjin, if you have to use the bathroom or anything, go do it now. I don’t know when you’ll get another chance to.” Woojin urges him, and Hyunjin didn’t realize how badly he has to pee until just now. He stands from the chair, wobbling a little bit from sitting cross-legged for too long. “Hurry back.” Jisung pushes him gently towards the door while Chan and Minho wander off to help Woojin set back up and eat what’s left of their sad, sad granola bar.

****

——

****

The day continues this way, and Hyunjin isn’t out of his clothes until 11:25 that night. Woojin practically runs to his office, laptop in hand, with his whole team following closely behind him, whisper-yelling nonsense at each other. He catches something about camera angles and hears Woojin reprimanding one of his assistants about lighting and shutter speed, but it doesn’t mean anything to him. Hyunjin would laugh at the entire scene if he wasn’t dead tired and didn’t have half a pound of makeup caked onto his face that he desperately wants to wipe off. All he wants is to rub his eyes and take a shower, dammit. Unfortunately, the bus ride home still awaits him, and he is  _ not  _ looking forward to dozing off against the window. Jisung, being the angel that he is, makes sure Hyunjin gets out of his clothes and into something comfortable before he sits him down in the styling chair in his workspace.

****

“Do you have a ride home?” he asks, voice quiet and hands soft on Hyunjin’s skin. Hyunjin leans his head back against the headrest, closes his eyes, and lets Jisung wipe his face clean. “Yeah, the bus. Which won’t be back here until–” Hyunjin glances down at his phone at look at the time. Son of a  _ bitch _ . “–12:15, oh my  _ god. _ ” Jisung swipes the damp cotton pads over his eyelids and eyebrows, holds his hair back with a firm hand, and chuckles lowly. “I’ll drive you home. You’ll fall asleep at the bus stop if you have to wait that long.” Hyunjin’s eyes flutter open and he watches Jisung from below, trying to determine if he’s serious or not. 

****

Oh, he’s serious. 

Oh.

****

“No, you don’t have to do that –” Hyunjin begins to protest, but Jisung interrupts him. “I want to, Hyunjin. You’re literally about to fall asleep  _ right now _ . I can’t let you sit at a bus stop for an hour like this,” Jisung grins, rolls his eyes as if to say, ‘ _ you really thought I would let you say no? _ ’ “I’m driving you home. Don’t argue with me.” There’s something commanding about Jisung’s voice, but it’s so unbearably gentle at the same time. He drags the cotton pads beneath Hyunjin’s eyes, under his jaw, and around his hairline once more before he taps his face and tells Hyunjin to open his eyes. “Okay.” Hyunjin pretends to pout, but his heart is about to explode.  _ Jisung  _ is driving  _ him  _ home. Him. Hyunjin. What a day to be alive.

****

Jisung's car smells like the lavender air freshener that dangles from the rearview mirror along with a little gold chain with a waving cat at the end. It's nothing special, but it's  _ Jisung _ , so it feels a little special to Hyunjin. Both the driver's side and passenger side seat belts have fluffy black covers slipped over them, and Hyunjin finds himself leaning his cheek against the fabric soon after he's buckled in. Jisung turns the heat on low, aims the vents towards Hyunjin, and puts on soft music. It all feels strangely intimate, and Hyunjin's sleep-muddled mind just takes it all in and prays for it not to end so soon. 

****

“Don't fall asleep on me, Hyunjin. You still have to give me directions.” Jisung pokes at his thigh as he puts the car in reverse and pulls out of his parking space. Hyunjin hasn't noticed before, but his entire team all have designated parking places marked with tall metal signs with their names carved in black. How prestigious.

****

“You're trying to make me fall asleep,” Hyunjin counters, returning the poke to Jisung's thigh, making him flinch with giggles. It's so cute. He's so cute. “Turn right when you get the the stop sign and keep going until you get to the first light.” Hyunjin instructs. Jisung nods and heads out of the parking lot. 

****

“Why do you take the bus, Jinnie? I could drive you home whenever you want since I live this direction, too.” Hyunjin sighs, turns his face towards Jisung. “You can't do that. I'm already gonna slip gas money into your pocket when you aren't looking, and there's no way I'll remember to do that everyday.” Jisung chuckles and comes to a stop at a red light. He turns to the right, checks his mirrors before switching lanes, and looks back to Hyunjin. Why is he so attractive while he's just  _ driving?  _ He’s just driving! This can't possibly be good for Hyunjin's health! 

****

“You don't have to do that, Jinnie. I'm happy to take you home,” Something about that sentence makes Hyunjin's heart flutter. He drags his fingers over his wrist, over the slightly raised ink in his skin while he thinks of a response. Jisung beats him to it. “But, I mean, if you  _ want  _ to ride the bus home, I certainly won't stop you.” 

****

“Nooo,” Hyunjin whines, shaking his head. “The bus smells like pee. Your car smells much better.” Jisung laughs again, and nudges Hyunjin when they're approaching another stoplight. “Which lane do I need to be in?” he asks. Hyunjin points to the right, watches Jisung watch his mirrors. There's barely any traffic since it's so late, but Jisung is still so careful. Again, it's a minuscule detail that sparks warmth in Hyunjin's gut where there previously was none. Stupid. 

****

“You live pretty close to me, Jinnie.” That's another thing Hyunjin noticed today: when Jisung is tired, he slips into calling people by their nicknames. It wasn't specifically him – he'd began calling the others Channie, Minnie, and Wooj when they were on the last outfit of the night and his exhaustion was palpable – but it was still something cute that Hyunjin definitely noticed. 

****

“Where do you live?” Hyunjin asks. It's probably too straightforward, but he doesn't have the energy to care. “In the apartments at the corner of First Street and Belleview. If you take a left up here, it's the first set of buildings on the corner.” Jisung answers. Hyunjin's eyes widen. “No way! That's where I live! What floor are you on?” Jisung gapes at him for a moment, surprised, but turns his attention back to the road soon after. “I'm on the fourth floor. What about you?” “That's probably why I've never seen you. I'm on the second.” Jisung smiles and flicks on his blinker. “I guess I know where I'm headed now.” 

****

Hyunjin had completely forgotten that there was a parking garage under the apartment complex until Jisung swipes a plastic card at the gate and pulls through. The yellow lights reflect off the gold highlighter that sits high on Jisung’s cheekbones, and Hyunjin finds himself watching the reflection shift for longer than normal. There’s something about Jisung’s skin, his cheeks, and his eyes that draws Hyunjin’s attention no matter how many times he’s admired it. He's truly stunning, even in low lighting.

****

Jisung parks his car in the corner near the basement door and turns off the engine. He leans his head back against the headrest and turns to look at Hyunjin. His eyes are soft, a little droopy with exhaustion, but still shining and big. Hyunjin gazes back at him, and finds himself feeling more content than he has in days just from looking into Jisung’s warm eyes. A comfortable silence floods the space between them, and they simply breathe together, tired eyes scanning over the other's features in the dim light. Jisung averts his gaze, takes a deep breath in, and pulls his keys out of the ignition.

****

“It's late,” he whispers, soft gaze settling back on Hyunjin's. He brushes a light hand through Hyunjin's hair, tucking the longest part of his bangs behind his ear.  _ Soft. _

****

“You should get some rest, Jinnie. We're starting early in the morning.” 

****

“We are?” Hyunjin questions, leaning into Jisung's palm against his cheek. He laughs softly, thumb making small circles beneath Hyunjin's eye, probably tracing over the mole there if Hyunjin had to guess. Jisung isn't keen on covering up beauty marks, and he's admittedly fond of Hyunjin's – this one specifically. “We are. The first shoot is at 10:00, so we're starting makeup at 7:00. I requested that we start later so you could sleep a little more, but Richard insisted that I'll need two hours.” Jisung's voice is so quiet, just barely above a whisper, and Hyunjin can feel every syllable his lips form just as well as he can hear them. It feels intimate enough for a shiver to course up Hyunjin's spine and goosebumps to speckle his exposed skin.

****

“I don't mind,” Hyunjin replies, leaning further into the seat, and, consequently, further into Jisung's touch. “As long as I'm with you, I don't mind being tired.” Hyunjin hardly registers how loose-lipped he's being because his confession only drags a warm laugh out of Jisung. It's warm enough to drape over Hyunjin, a thin veil slithering over his cheeks. “Well, I'm glad we're both on the same page then,” Jisung smiles, and Hyunjin truly wishes he knew another word to describe it other than  _ warm _ . Jisung's smile isn't warm in the same way that the sun is warm on your skin on a windy day in April. Jisung's smile is warm like a freshly brewed cup of tea, a blanket that's long enough to tuck under your feet, or feeling a cat curl up on your lap. Jisung's smile isn't sunburnt skin or hot sand – it's a fluffy towel fresh out of the dryer, a warm bath in the winter, and a hug from your mother after being separated for some time. 

****

Perhaps Hyunjin doesn't need a word other than warm; Jisung is just that. He's warmer than anything Hyunjin has ever experienced, and maybe his feeling was right when they first met: maybe Hyunjin will never be cold as long as Jisung is existing near him. 

****

——

****

Hyunjin definitely doses off more than a few times while Jisung is doing his makeup the following day. It’s really not his fault – Jisung’s hands are too gentle and he’s too good at coaxing him to close his eyes, “For just a minute, Hyunjin.” Of course, Hyunjin has no issue abiding by his instructions, and doesn’t even try to put up a fight. There’s piano music playing through the bluetooth speaker on Jisung’s tiny desk, and the vanity lights are turned off, the only light sources being the sun peeking through the clouds and streaming in through the open window and the floor lamp perched beside the chair. Jisung’s fingertips are brushing over Hyunjin's eyelids, dancing across his cheeks, and it’s too soothing for him to  _ not  _ give into exhaustion. It doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep.

****

Jisung smiles when Hyunjin’s muscles finally relax and he’s able to guide his head to lie on the headrest of the styling chair. He lays the chair down flat, holds Hyunjin’s head up in his hand so he’s not disturbed by the movement, and continues with his makeup. Chan comes in to check on them about 15 minutes later and is greeted with a shush from Jisung who has his finger pressed against his lips. Chan just smiles and makes his way over to them, ruffles Hyunjin’s hair lightly. 

****

“Almost finished?” he questions, keeping his voice at a whisper. Jisung nods, looks over Hyunjin’s face to make sure he didn’t miss anything. His makeup is a little darker than usual today: his eyeliner is smoked out with a few different brown shadows, his lids are covered in a warm caramel color, and his eyelashes are coated in a thin layer of mascara. Jisung also bronzed his face a little more than normal to add to the drama of his eye makeup and tapped a nude lipstick on his lips to dilute the natural red color. His blush is a dark plum color and his eyebrows are thick and straight, but Hyunjin still somehow looks exactly like himself – Jisung found himself sitting back to make sure of that while he was doing his makeup. Hyunjin has a certain feminine quality to his features that can easily be shifted to something dangerous and seductive with the right amount of contour and eyeliner. Jisung knew what his makeup was supposed to look like for the shoot, but he can’t deny that he’s biased towards the look of softer makeup on Hyunjin. He’s youthful, and this style of makeup ages him in a way that Jisung can’t keep his eyes away from. It’s not good for his fragile heart.

****

“You’re done about five minutes early, so let him sleep until he has to come to me.” Chan whispers. He gives Jisung a pat on the shoulder and leaves him to clean up his supplies while Hyunjin sleeps. Five minutes pass far too quickly, and Jisung soon finds himself shaking Hyunjin awake. He wakes gently and brings his hands up to rub his eyes, but Jisung grabs his wrists before he can touch his face. “Don’t touch your face, Jinnie. It’s time to go see Chan, okay?” Hyunjin nods and stretches his limbs, mumbling something in Korean. “What was that?” Jisung asks, helping Hyunjin to his feet and adjusting the styling chair. Hyunjin just grins, shakes his head. “Nothing important.” 

****

_ “I dreamt of you.”  _

****

——

****

Chan is usually careful to keep Hyunjin’s hair free of sticky products and sprays, but today is an exception. His hair is slicked back on one side, parted unevenly, and the rest is brushed back messily. Hyunjin can’t tell yet if it looks good or not. 

****

“It’s intentionally messy. The board said “bedroom hair,” but I can interpret that in about eight different ways. I’m not sure if they want sexy bed head or escort chic, so I just did a little bit of both,” Chan sighs, drags his fingers through the loose pieces of Hyunjin’s hair and twists them the way he wants them to lay. “They can edit it in post if they really hate it, though. I’m more worried about Minho’s outfits for you,” Hyunjin raises an eyebrow in the mirror. Chan huffs, blows a stray hair out of his eyes. “It’s not bad, but there’s a lot of leather and lace. It’s kinda contradictory, but I’m sure it’ll look good. I’m just worried that the pieces won’t fit you the way Minho wants them to because they’re so skin-tight.” 

****

Leather  _ and  _ lace? This whole concept they've been talking about is  _ way  _ out of Hyunjin’s comfort zone, and he’s not entirely sure he can pull it off. Chan must notice his change in expression, as he comes to stand in front of him, grips his shoulders, and levels him with his gaze. “You’ll do just fine. If you’re not comfortable, Minho will find something else for you to wear, or tailor it specifically the way you want it. We won’t make you do anything you aren’t comfortable with, but we will encourage you to try something new,” Chan pulls one strand of hair away from the tousled mess on Hyunjin’s head and twirls it around his finger. “Just try it, and if you hate it, we’ll never make you do anything like it again. We’ll cut the contract with this company and tell them to find another model and a new team. We won’t force you into anything, Hyunjin.” 

****

Hyunjin breathes out a sigh of relief. Of course his team won’t force him into an uncomfortable situation. He believes Chan, knows they’ll pull the shoot if Hyunjin doesn’t feel completely secure, but that doesn’t stop him from being a little scared of what he has to wear.

****

Before Minho can even bring out the rack of clothes, Hyunjin is shaking with nerves. “Jinnie,” Minho mumbles, wrapping him in a tight hug. Hyunjin digs his nose into the stylist’s neck, breathes in his scent of coffee and sweet cologne. Minho’s hand smoothes up and down his back and kneads at the tense muscles in his neck as he turns his head to whisper in his ear. “You’re gonna be just fine, dear. We’re here to make you look beautiful and to make you feel confident. Try on a few outfits for me, and if you don’t feel like the hottest bitch in this building, then we’re doing something wrong. Does that sound okay?” Hyunjin thinks it over for a moment, takes a deep breath, and nods against Minho’s shoulder. “Perfect.”

****

Minho promised Hyunjin that he’d feel like the hottest bitch in the building, but he feels like the hottest bitch in the  _ country _ . He’s wearing wine red leather pants that hug his legs better than any pair of pants he’s  _ ever  _ worn, a black lace button down with a sheer back that grazes past his faux leather belt, and a thin white lace choker around his neck. Minho pulls Hyunjin by the hand over to the newly organized jewelry display on his desk and presents him with a pair of earrings he hasn’t seen before. They’re simple dangling silver earrings, straight rods that go right through the holes in his lobes, and Hyunjin has to look closer to see what’s so special about them: they’re engraved with lace detailing and miniature crystals. Minho smiles and hands them over. 

****

“I ordered them special for you from Swarovski. I would’ve made you something, but I don’t have that type of equipment here. Go pick out a couple ear cuffs and studs while I nitpick your clothes.” Hyunjin does as he’s told while Minho circles around him, tucking the long tail of his shirt beneath his belt and rolling up his sleeves to reveal the tattoo on his wrist. Hyunjin hadn’t even noticed that Jisung didn’t cover it. “He knows what he's doing,” Minho mum less to himself, rolling his sleeves up a bit more, and making sure that the entire vine is visible. “So, this shirt is technically a crop top, but since you're still very young and I don't want you showing too much skin, I brought the length down a little more. It'll only show your stomach if you lift your arms over your head, and that's your choice. I figured it would make you more comfortable.” Hyunjin nods, sticking the earrings through the holes in his lobes and hooking the cuffs high on his cartilage. Minho makes one last lap around him to check for any imperfections in Hyunjin's outfit. 

****

“Oh! Just a couple more things,” he exclaims, winding his arm around Hyunjin to grab a small velvet box and a long silver chain. “This ring is for you. It should fit your middle finger if I measured correctly,” Minho pops open the box and pulls out a chunky silver ring that Hyunjin is sure will take up his entire finger. It actually looks like more of a cuff than a ring, shaped like a silver snake with black scales carved into the metal and dark red gemstone eyes set into it. It curls around Hyunjin's finger much like his tattoo curls around his wrist – like it was meant to be there. The silver chain is simple, but just long and thin enough for Minho to tuck it underneath the lace choker and let it dangle against Hyunjin's exposed chest. The entire outfit is rather understated with only a few statement pieces. It's actually beginning to grow on Hyunjin. 

****

“What do you think?” Minho asks, spinning him around to face the full-body mirror. Hyunjin scans his eyes up and down his body, twists his shoulders to see the back of the shirt, and –  _ shit _ , his ass looks absolutely  _ fantastic  _ in these pants. Everything fits perfectly, and Hyunjin has definitely never felt this sexy in his life. It's a new feeling, for sure, but not an unwelcome one by any means. “I feel like the hottest bitch in the building.” he replies. Minho smiles, and it's a little evil but mostly very proud. 

****

“That's fuckin’ _ right _ , Hyunjin Hwang. Everyone is going to be  _ drooling _ over you, you sexy son of a bitch.”

****

Hyunjin never really imagined his coworkers hyping him up the way that Minho is right now, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't like it. No, he  _ loves  _ it. He totally loves it.

****

——

****

“Minho!” Chan jogs across the shoot room, calling the stylist's name. “Where's Hyunjin? Jisung's looking for him.” Minho rolls his eyes and points towards the bathroom. 

****

“He's in the bathroom, probably in full blown gay panic.” 

****

“What? Why?” Chan sputters, looking around to see if anyone or listening in on their conversation. Minho crosses his arms over his chest and stares Chan down. “Apparently we did too good of a job making him look hot because Jisung came over to touch up his makeup, very obviously checked Hyunjin out, and then literally _ ran away.  _ Hyunjin ran in the other direction pretty quick after that,” Chan huffs, running a hand through his hair. He's only had two cups of coffee today, and he really isn't in the mindset to deal with his younger teammate's suppressed attraction towards each other. “He's been in the bathroom for about five minutes. I was going to go get him if he was in there longer than ten, but now that I'm thinking about it, I think you should go fetch him, Channie.” Minho pats Chan on the shoulder, gives him a blinding smile, and saunters away. 

****

Chan genuinely can't stand him. 

****

“I was not in a ‘gay panic!’ What even  _ is  _ that?” Hyunjin is being very insistent that the incident with Jisung never even happened. Chan, on the other hand, knows that denial is one of the first stages of grief, and Hyunjin is certainly grieving over his feelings for Jisung right now. 

****

“It's when you run and hide in the bathroom after a guy checks you out or looks at you for too long, or says something that gets to you. Exactly what you just did.” “I did not!” Hyunjin keeps fidgeting with his earrings, tugging them in and out of the holes in his lobes, and dragging his fingernails over the cuffs on his cartilage. Chan notices. 

****

“Stop that – you're making  _ me  _ anxious,” Chan commands, smacking Hyunjin's hand away from his ear. He's not really making him anxious, but Chan knows he won't stop if he gives him a different excuse. “You two can talk about this later, okay? Right now, you both have a job to do, and we have fifteen minutes to touch up your makeup and hair before the shoot starts. Be professional, Hyunjin.” 

****

_ Be professional.  _

He can do that. He’s good at being professional.

****

Jisung apologizes the very second Hyunjin comes into his line of vision, and Hyunjin stumbles over a chair because he's so surprised. “I'm so sorry,” Jisung is speaking  _ very  _ fast, and the next sentence flies out of his mouth at a speed that Hyunjin's bilingual brain can hardly keep up with. “I've just never seen you dressed like this before, and usually Minho shows us the outfits beforehand, but he decided  _ not to _ today for some god-forsaken reason, and I was a  _ smidge  _ shocked to see you in something like this when I'm used to you being dressed in big sweaters and jeans, and it was all just massively overstimulating for me and my gay little heart and I'm very,  _ very  _ sorry.” Jisung takes a huge breath, holds it, clenches his fists, and finally exhales. Hyunjin assumes he has a very confused look on his face, but he just wants to put his hands on Jisung's shoulders and hold him  _ still _ . 

****

“How much is a  _ smidge _ , exactly? I've never heard that word.” Is what he settles for instead, simply because he's unsure how that word would translate to Korean. Jisung's face shifts from perplexed to understanding to smiling in a matter of seconds before he's letting out a sigh of relief. "Jesus  _ christ,  _ Hyunjin. I thought you were mad at me." Hyunjin shakes his head, feels his earrings  _ ting  _ against each other. "No, of course not," Hyunjin takes a step closer to Jisung, deciding that he'll think about his own feelings on the situation later. Maybe while they're shooting. Perhaps throwing Jisung into an outfit-induced panic was just what he needed to amp do his expressions. 

****

"Talk to me next time, okay? Don't let yourself get overwhelmed like this." Jisung glances up and down at him, and his eyes settle on the crystals hanging delicately from his earlobes. "I'll try." he says, but it comes out with little conviction. Hyunjin gives him a smile that he hopes will diffuse the situation and take Jisung's heavy gaze with it. 

****

It lifts – whatever tension was left around them fades into the creases of Jisung's eyes and the lines of his palms as he takes Hyunjin's hand in his. "Time to go." he tugs Hyunjin forward, back towards the crowd, back to where they're supposed to be. Hyunjin follows. He always does.

****

(Jisung asks Chan to translate  _ smidge _ into Korean for Hyunjin later that day. Chan just smiles, squeezes his pointer finger and thumb together and tells him, " _ Jogeum _ , Jisungie.  _ A little _ ." He writes the Hangul letters on Jisung's palm in black pen, and later Hyunjin points to it and says, "조금?" in a voice so small, Jisung has no idea how it came out of a fully-grown human. If his heart beats a little faster after that, it's no ones business.)

********  
  


**_— December 9th_ **

****

It's a Thursday night when Hyunjin invites Jisung into his apartment for the first time. The car ride there had been strangely quiet, even for a Thursday. Jisung hadn't plugged his phone into the radio, hadn't turned on music, hadn't offered the aux cord to Hyunjin, and hadn't made any comments about the silence. To say that Hyunjin was worried would be an understatement. Hyunjin is an empathetic person, and he knows Thursdays are usually hard for Jisung because of the shaming he has to endure from Richard and the rest of the faculty. However, he's typically a bit more talkative by the time they leave the company at night, so Hyunjin suspects something else happened today. Something worse, specifically. It’s the type of funk that Jisung can’t work himself out of, so, Hyunjin has to help. He’s more than happy to be of service, though.

****

Jisung pulls his keys out of the ignition and moves to get out of the car, but Hyunjin grabs him by the sleeve and pulls him back in before he even reaches the door handle. “Come home with me.” he blurts out. Jisung coughs out a laugh. “Okay, straight to the point. May I ask why?” Hyunjin sighs, loosens his grip on Jisung's sleeve, and slides his hand down to rest it on his thigh. 

****

“I just…” he pauses to gather his thoughts. “You're sad today. I don't want you to be alone  _ and  _ sad, so come be sad at my place. We don't have to talk, but I am willing to bribe you with food.” Jisung smiles slightly, and it's the first time today Hyunjin has seen him crack a grin. It makes him feel a bit better about the whole situation. “What kind of food?” Jisung inquires, rubbing his chin in fake thought. Hyunjin knows he's already made up his mind, but he decides to play along anyway. “Leftover pizza, cereal, maybe some Oreos. I might even have ice cream.” Jisung chuckles, and that's definitely the first time Hyunjin has heard that today. Jisung is easy to bribe, and he smiles brightly at Hyunjin before saying: “Okay, fine. Lead the way.”

****

Hyunjin doesn’t even have time to apologize for the state of disarray his apartment is in before Jisung is slipping his shoes and coat off at the door saying, “Don’t even think about apologizing for anything. You live here, so your comfort is more important than mine. Can I leave my shoes here?” Hyunjin nods, glancing around the space to make sure nothing inappropriate is out in the open. His apartment is a small one-bedroom place with white walls and little furniture. There’s a small gray couch in the living room that’s just barely big enough for either Felix or Seungmin to curl up on when they spend the night, along with a long wooden coffee table. Hyunjin just recently purchased a mountable flat screen television to put in the living room, and it was installed last week. A few boxes are still littered around the windows from the mounting equipment, but it isn't recycling day yet, and Hyunjin certainly isn't going to put cardboard in the trash. He’s not a terrible person. 

****

Despite the two wooden shelves on either side of the T.V., the apartment is sparsely decorated with house plants and a few random books here and there. Hyunjin had been telling himself that he’d  _ really  _ decorate the place once he was more financially stable since it seemed like he’d be staying here for awhile. As of now, he isn’t as financially stable as he hopes to be in the future, so he hasn’t decorated for real yet.  _ Soon _ , he tells himself. 

****

“I’m not hungry, but you’re welcome to anything that’s in the fridge or the cabinets. I know you didn’t eat lunch today,” Hyunjin offers, dragging Jisung over to sit at the bar in the little kitchen. This is the room Hyunjin uses least, but he still enjoys it, nonetheless. It’s open and bright, and Hyunjin had the most accessories for the kitchen when he moved in thanks to his mother. A table runner, silverware, real plates, a coffee maker, and a teapot were some of the things he was lucky enough to have in his possession. 

****

“Anything is fine with me. I don’t want to be a bother.” Jisung mumbles, rubbing his thumb over the pendant hanging between his collarbones. Hyunjin sighs and turns to flick on the stove. “I’ll warm up some pizza and make some tea then. Is that okay?” He turns back around to see Jisung with his face cupped in his hands, staring intently up at him with a small smile on his face. It’s subtle, yet soft enough to make Hyunjin’s cheeks flush. “That’s perfect.”  _ Cute.  _

****

They end up on the couch, a blanket curled up underneath their feet, and warm cups of tea in their hands. Hyunjin had put on some nature documentary earlier for background noise, but he really just wanted to talk to Jisung. It's a little difficult to initiate conversation about a subject as touchy as Jisung being reprimanded at work, but Jisung manages to make it a bit easier. He turns to face Hyunjin, tossing the blanket a little further over his exposed knees, and situates himself so his shoulder is leaning against the back of the couch. 

****

“I can tell you wanna ask something, Hyunjin,” Jisung looks tired but sure of his words when he speaks. “Go ahead and ask. I'll answer what I can, but I don't want to burden you with my issues.” Hyunjin barely manages to stop himself from rolling his eyes. That's all he wants: for Jisung to feel comfortable enough with him to share his burdens. 

****

Hyunjin sighs, his grip tightening on the mug in his hand. “I just want to know what's going on in your head – what Richard's telling you, what the other faculty is blaming you for, and how it's affecting you. I want to  _ help _ , Jisung.” 

****

Hyunjin sees the slightest shift in Jisung's gaze, watches his eyes cast downward for a short second before they meet his once again and he sighs. “It's nothing about you if that's what you're worried about –” “That's not what I'm worried about at all.” Hyunjin interrupts, leaning over to set his cup of tea on the coffee table. Jisung follows his movement. 

****

“What's this about then?” he's confused, and Hyunjin can't understand why. Hasn't he made it clear that he's concerned for Jisung's well-being? “Jisung,” Hyunjin reaches over, takes Jisung's hands in his own before he can reach for his necklace, and presses their palms together. He watches Jisung's eyes widen, sees his expression turn even more confused before he has a chance to explain. “I don't know what they tell you in those meetings, but I promise you that none of it is true. Nothing they say about you is true.  _ Nothing _ ,” Hyunjin squeezes Jisung's hands, tries to communicate what he's feeling, and he isn't sure if it's even working but he has to  _ try.  _

****

“You don't have to tell me what they've said to you. I know that you can handle this on your own, and you don't need my help but I want to offer it to you anyway,” Jisung’s hands are soft, a little sweaty in Hyunjin’s, but just as real as ever. He’s  _ there _ , and that’s all that matters – that both of them are present, listening, communicating. 

****

“Please, if it ever gets to be too much, will you come to me? I want to be there for you, Jisungie.” The words feel like syrup in Hyunjin’s mouth, and under any other circumstance, he would never say something so cliche. But this is Jisung, who so badly needs to hear these words from a genuine person; Jisung, who keeps his heart locked in a cage that Hyunjin so desperately wishes he held the key to. Lately, he’s felt like Jisung is on the cusp of surrendering the one key that he has, but is hesitant to take the final step. It’s hard, Hyunjin knows. Even if he decides to keep it shut away in its little chasm for a little while longer, Hyunjin still needs him to hear what he’s thinking.

****

Jisung swallows thickly, his mouth opens and closes as he tries to form a response. Nothing coherent comes out, and Hyunjin can tell he’s frustrated. “Hyunjin, I – they–” Jisung stutters, his voice thick with emotion and thoughts he can’t properly express. Hyunjin shushes him with a quiet motion: he laces their fingers together, pulls Jisung a little closer, and makes small circles with his thumb on the back of his hand because he  _ knows _ . He knows what Jisung is feeling, knows what it feels like to be helpless after doing your best. Hyunjin  _ knows _ , and knowing feels a lot like the gentle squeeze of Jisung’s hand in his, the breath of space between them, and the tears trying to pool in the corners of Jisung’s eyes. Jisung closes his eyes and squeezes Hyunjin’s hands firmly against his own, takes a deep breath, and releases it slowly. It feels like knowing. 

****

“Take your time.” Hyunjin whispers, continuing his attempt to soothe Jisung with touch. It’s working – the tension ever-so-slowly bleeds from Jisung’s shoulders, travels down his limbs over tanned skin, and rests in his twitching hands.

****

“It’s the same thing every day we meet,” Jisung begins. His voice is a bit unsteady, but not as small as it has been recently; he knows his story well, has memorized it like a routine because it  _ is  _ one. Hyunjin encourages him to continue. “Richard and the other partners of the company, they always tell me that I’m not doing enough, that I’m not experienced enough to be placed in such a high position, and that I haven’t proved to them that I deserve this job. They–” He stops, takes a stabilizing breath, gives Hyunjin’s hands a squeeze, and continues.

****

“They want me gone, Jinnie. I don’t know what I’ve done to make them dislike me so much, but I’ve… I’ve done everything I can to show them that I’m capable of doing this,” Hyunjin doesn’t think of the possible implications when he brings his hand up to cradle Jisung’s face. He brushes away the tears that are trying to fall before they have a chance to and Jisung melts into his touch, leans into his open hand, and turns to hide part of his face against Hyunjin’s skin. Hyunjin swears he feels his lips press against his palm. Feeling and knowing are far too similar.

****

“I’m an artist – this is what I love to do. B–but I can’t keep doing this if I’m going to be treated like shit. I just  _ can’t _ .” Hyunjin has never heard Jisung sound defeated; not even in the middle of the day on a busy Thursday after Richard has ripped his ass for an hour. Not even when he’s gotten no sleep and refuses anything caffeinated; not even when his designs are rejected; not even when Chan or Minho scold him. Even then, he never sounds beaten down or battered in any way. He sounds a little worn down, but never defeated.

****

Now, though, Jisung sounds exhausted. He sounds tired of fighting, tired of keeping up an act, and tired of being reprimanded for doing the best he can at what he loves. He sounds close to breaking, and Hyunjin absolutely can not allow that to happen. In the moment it takes for Jisung to gather his emotions into a tight ball and tuck them away, Hyunjin formulates a plan to unravel the ball he’s wound so tight. 

****

“The next meeting,” he says, brushing his thumb under Jisung’s puffy eyelid and letting him dig his nose into his palm. Jisung squeezes his eyes shut and sniffles, but he’s listening. “I’m coming with you to the next meeting.” Jisung’s eyes fly open wide, and his previously guarded expression quickly becomes one of pure panic. He grabs Hyunjin’s hand from his face, brings it to his chest to squeeze it hard in his own. 

****

“No, no, no. Hyunjin, they‘ve specifically told me not to bring anyone to the meetings! I–I’m not even supposed to be talking about it! You could get fired, Jinnie, they won’t allow it. I…  _ I  _ won’t allow it.” Hyunjin covers Jisung’s hands with his own, loosens his grip, and laces their fingers together again, back to making small circles on the soft skin of Jisung’s hand.  _ Calm down.  _

****

“Jisung,  _ hush _ ,” Hyunjin doesn’t think he’s ever held hands with someone for this long. He kind of loves it, being this close even though Jisung is so stressed. The poor boy is still teetering on the edge of tears, so Hyunjin keeps his touch light for only Jisung to feel. Hyunjin can barely feel his own fingers tracing patterns into his skin. Jisung’s gaze leaves their hands as he turns his chin up to meet Hyunjin’s eyes, his bottom lip quivering just slightly, and Hyunjin has to stop himself from audibly  _ cooing  _ and pulling him against his chest. He’s genuinely afraid Jisung will cry if he touches him anymore. He decides to talk instead of overstimulating him.

****

“If you tell me not to go, then I won’t. This can’t keep happening though, Jisung,” Jisung breathes out, the  _ don’t  _ poised to leave his lips. Hyunjin doesn’t give it the time. “Richard has gotten so deep into your head that you don’t even see your own talent anymore. I don’t want you to lose your passion for something you love before you turn 30, Sungie. Especially not because of someone like Richard.” 

****

Maybe talking was a worse idea. 

Jisung chokes out a sob, and Hyunjin barely manages to catch him when he pitches forward into his arms. There’s a strangled noise at the back of Jisung’s throat that Hyunjin can  _ feel  _ making its way over his tongue and crawling out from between his lips, so he threads his fingers through the hair at the back of Jisung’s neck, dragging them lightly against his scalp. Hyunjin’s gentle touches just make Jisung cry  _ harder.  _

****

“Shh, Jisungie, please. I don’t wanna see you cry.” he whispers, and it’s a little wet, his own tears threatening to fall. That doesn’t work either. Jisung just tucks his face into Hyunjin’s neck, sobs into his skin, and wraps his arms tight around Hyunjin’s waist, broken whispers of  _ I’m sorry _ scattered around pained cries. Hyunjin continues to run his fingers through Jisung’s hair, his other hand drawing nameless patterns between his shoulder blades as he rocks them both back and forth. “You’re okay,” Hyunjin tries a new approach. He doesn’t want to overstimulate Jisung with both his voice and touch, but he has very few choices at this point.

****

“You’re okay, Jisungie. I’m right here, everything’s okay. I promise.” Hyunjin feels Jisung fist his shirt in his hands, pulling it taunt around his waist. Jisung untangles his legs from underneath himself, lifts up, and wraps them around Hyunjin’s hips, straddling him all in one quick movement. “ _ Oh _ –kay. Okay. Okay –  _ hey _ , you’re good, you’re fine. I’ve gotcha’, don’t worry.” Hyunjin breathes, helping Jisung get settled in his lap. He’s stopped sobbing out loud but he’s still crying quietly, and that’s somehow  _ worse _ . He rests his forehead on Hyunjin’s shoulder, takes a long breath, and Hyunjin decides, against his better judgement, to start talking again.

****

“You’re gonna be okay, Jisungie. Chan, Minho, Woojin and I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.” Jisung sniffles, but looks up to meet Hyunjin's eyes. He holds out his pinky. 

****

“Promise?” Hyunjin smiles, hooks their pinkies together, and watches Jisung's expression change slowly. He runs the tip of his finger up and down Hyunjin's, tracing the vine inked into the thin skin of his hand. There's hardly any tension left between the lines of Jisung's face, the peaks of his shoulders, the nervous shaking in his fingers, and Hyunjin notices every minuscule detail of Jisung calming down. He rests his forehead against Hyunjin's, closes his eyes gently, and breathes out a sigh of relief. Hyunjin feels his entire body relax against him, and it's finally  _ calm _ . 

****

Jisung's entire weight is leaning against Hyunjin's body, forcing his back into the armrest of the couch, but it's okay. He doesn't mind. However, Hyunjin can feel the exhaustion seeping into his bones, and he questions for a moment whether or not Jisung is sucking the energy straight out of him, siphoning it out if his pores or something. He seems like the type of person who could unconsciously do that: drain someone completely or supply them with as much energy as they need. Jisung is equal amounts of give and take. Right now, he's giving Hyunjin an endless amount of warmth in his chest and against his exposed skin, but he's also pulling the energy out of him, lulling him into what feels like the beginning or a fitful sleep. 

****

Hyunjin can't sleep on the couch, he  _ knows  _ he can't sleep on the couch, especially not sitting up with a whole Jisung on top of him. Jisung is making it particularly hard to make the reasonable decision with his feather-light touch skating up and down Hyunjin's arms, his breath warm against his cheek, and his eyelashes fanned out over his tan skin. If Hyunjin moves just the tiniest bit, it could disturb this artificial peace they've created of dim yellow light in the background, the heater flicking on and whirring through the silent apartment, and the television making pinpricks of light in their eyes. Jisung's breathing is evening out slowly, and Hyunjin caresses his thumb over the streaks of tears staining his chubby cheeks, wiping them away before the salt can soak into his skin. 

****

Jisung will be furious with him in the morning for falling asleep without washing and moisturizing his face. Hyunjin can hear his voice whining far away in his ear now: “You're a model, Hyunjin! A  _ model _ . Your skin is your largest organ and you just doused it in oil and left it to dry in the sun, you absolute  _ hooligan _ .” But tomorrow is a new day, a Friday, and Hyunjin thinks Jisung deserves to sleep peacefully in his arms if it costs him only a little bit of nagging. Hyunjin can handle that much. 

****

Jisung's soft snores make the decision for Hyunjin. He shifts so he's laying on his back, Jisung splayed out on top of him, and tugs the throw blanket from underneath them, tossing it over Jisung's lanky form. With his head pillowed in the center of Hyunjin's chest, Jisung curls the blanket up under his chin and tangles his legs with Hyunjin's longer ones. The position will probably become uncomfortable soon, but Hyunjin couldn't care less. For now, he's content to rub Jisung's back and remain stuck under his weight. He'll consider the consequences in the morning. 

****

**_— December 10th_ **

****

Surprisingly enough, Hyunjin slept very well. His neck is a little sore and there's a small wet spot on his shirt, but he can't be bothered by the fact that Jisung drooled on him. Not when he's sleeping like an angel on top of him, his eyes sliding back and forth beneath closed eyelids, his face void of any tension. He's completely relaxed, and Hyunjin doesn't think he's ever seen Jisung look so purely youthful. He's in his early twenties, the same as Hyunjin, but life has aged Jisung in a way entirely different from the way it has aged Hyunjin. It's made him tense, but strong-willed and optimistic despite everything. Life has carved itself deep into Jisung's very existence and made a home in his lungs to leave him breathless whenever it pleases, whereas Hyunjin has felt the kiss of Life on his cheeks and in the smile lines around his eyes. For some reason, Hyunjin didn't expect the tension to leave Jisung's body when he slept. He's over the moon to see that it, in fact,  _ does _ . His breath comes in even puffs as if Life has finally decided to settle down in Jisung's chest and let him breathe on his own. It's astonishing to witness, and Hyunjin can't stop himself from simply watching Jisung breathe. It's beautiful.  _ He  _ is beautiful.

****

Hyunjin reaches for his phone and silences it before his alarm has a chance to go off. He glances at the clock: 7:46AM. Oh, glorious day. That means he has 14 minutes to wake Jisung up gently and escort him up to the fourth floor to get ready for the day and then meet him back outside at 8:30AM to drive to the company together. Hyunjin doesn't hate mornings nearly as much as he used to since he's been riding to work with Jisung. 

****

Speaking of– “Jisungie,” Hyunjin sing-songs, carding his hand through Jisung's tangled hair. “It's almost 8:00, Sungie.” Jisung stirs, scrunches his face up, and stretches his legs out. It's  _ so cute.  _ Oh, god. Hyunjin can't do this. He can't be absolutely  _ ruined  _ this early in the morning by Jisung's cuteness. Jisung's fingers flex on his chest, his palms fisted in his shirt and the blanket around them, and Hyunjin  _ melts _ . 

****

“I can't get up.” Jisung slurs. Hyunjin barely catches the words because Jisung is laying face-down on top of him. He questions him anyway. “What?” A sigh escapes the body on top of him. “Can't get up,” Jisung reiterates, stretching his muscles again. Hyunjin can feel every bit of Jisung moving as if his skinny body is his own. His hip bones dig into Hyunjin’s thighs and he groans, gives Jisung a little shove. “Not when you're under me, anyway.” Jisung finally lifts his head, gives Hyunjin the  _ laziest  _ smile he's ever seen, and his stomach chooses that moment to swoop like a plane taking flight. Dear lord, he's so cute. Hyunjin can't do this. It's too early in the morning for him to be so far gone already.  _ Too early. _

****

“ _ You  _ can't get up?” Hyunjin accuses, no seriousness behind his tone. “I have an entire man-sized  _ child _ on top of me! I was gonna make you breakfast and everything, jeez.” Hyunjin had only briefly thought about making breakfast, but they were a bit too short on time for that. Either way, food is the fastest way to get Jisung moving. He stretches his arms over his head, hooking his wrists behind Hyunjin's neck, pulling him closer. “Can we stop at that bakery off the highway instead? The one with the blue awning? I've been craving pastries for  _ days _ .” Jisung asks, curling the longer pieces of Hyunjin's hair around his pinky. Hyunjin laughs and settles his own hands on the small of Jisung’s back, where they had been for most of the night. 

****

“Yeah, that's fine. I kinda don't have any food here anyway.” Jisung sighs in fake disappointment. “He thinks I don't know that.” he rolls his eyes and directs this statement to some other entity in the room – either that or the air around them. One of those things. Hyunjin shoves him lightly, just enough to get him moving. 

****

“Get a move on, Han. We've got –” Hyunjin looks down at his phone again, taps the screen. “– approximately 36 minutes until takeoff.” Jisung sighs and gives Hyunjin a half-hearted salute. “Roger that, soldier.” 

****

Hyunjin is standing in the lobby waiting for Jisung by 8:27, tapping on his phone and sending Jisung goofy stickers to get his attention. It doesn't exactly work since he gets no response. Still, Jisung comes bouncing down the stairs at exactly 8:30, his bag in hand and a fluffy scarf around his neck. He's wearing light-washed skinny jeans, a long-sleeved black t-shirt, and heavy boots. His hands are curled around the sleeves of his army green coat, and Hyunjin nearly coos. He's  _ so _ close to cooing. It’s beginning to seem like a reoccuring theme.

****

Usually, Jisung's makeup doesn't have much of an effect on Hyunjin since he sees it everyday, but it looks a little different today. Jisung has extraordinarily clear skin, and he usually only wears concealer under his eyes to hide the darkness Life has planted there along with a swipe of highlighter to make his face look more lively. Today, however, he's wearing a thin coat of eyeliner in the crease between his lashes and his waterline, and Hyunjin can't stop thinking about how cat-like it makes him look. His eyes are always soft and bright, but never defined in a way that elongates them. It's entrancing. 

****

“You look good,” Hyunjin blurts out. Jisung smiles up at him, cheeks a little flushed from skipping down the stairs. “Thanks,” he says, grabbing Hyunjin's hand to pull him towards the parking garage. “C'mon. We have to satisfy the monster in my tummy.” 

****

——

****

Hyunjin's morning is full of meetings with new companies, looking over their designs, signing contracts, and setting up dates for photoshoots. Jisung sends him off with a gentle hand smoothing down his wind-blown hair and goes to attend to his own business. He doesn't see the rest of his team until lunchtime when they all congregate in Chan's office to eat. It's Friday, so, of course, Chan brings lunch and rejects any and all forms of repayment. 

****

“Eat,” he instructs, handing personalized boxed lunches to everyone in the group. Hyunjin knows that his contains a sandwich, a small salad, two oatmeal raisin cookies, and apple juice because Chan knows that's his favorite. The hair stylist is so considerate that it physically hurts Hyunjin sometimes. Seriously, he has frequent chest pains every Friday around noon. “It'll make me feel better if you all finish the day on full stomachs.” Chan explains, propping his feet up on his desk to eat his own meal. Hyunjin smiles and thanks him again. 

****

“Where's Jisung?” Minho asks, chopsticks sticking out from between his lips. Hyunjin looks around. He hadn't noticed that Jisung wasn't there yet. Usually the makeup artist is so hungry he barely speaks before he's eaten his lunch. “He said something about a meeting. Not sure what about.” Woojin offers, reaching over Chan's legs to retrieve his can of soda. “A meeting? At lunch time?” Hyunjin questions, chewing thoughtfully. Jisung hadn't said anything to him about a meeting. Woojin hums, and Chan offers his own two sense. “Since you just signed a new contract, they probably pulled him first to look over the boards. No biggie.” Hyunjin hums and continues his meal. He'll have to wait to ask Jisung about it later. 

****

Chan told him earlier that he could go home early since they weren't doing a shoot today. Everyone had department meetings until late in the evening, so Hyunjin wasn't needed at the company. Still, it doesn’t sit right with him to leave before Jisung, so he finds himself in the makeup artist's station, legs folded in his chair. Hyunjin found a green eyeliner pencil laying on the vanity about ten minutes ago, and is busying himself by filling in the outline of the tattoo on his wrist. Maybe he'll have it filled in for real some day soon. 

****

By the time Hyunjin filled in the entire vine in green, wiped it off, and filled it in again with blue eyeliner, it’s almost 6:00PM. Jisung still isn’t back, and Hyunjin is getting worried. The greenish tint has stained his skin twice now, and he's ready to go home.

****

An hour passes with no sign of Jisung. Hyunjin can feel the beginnings of panic rising in his throat, clutching at the back of his tongue, and scratching at the roof of his mouth. Something has to be wrong. It’s nearly 7:30PM, and Richard is  _ always  _ gone by now. The company doors lock at 8:00PM, and Hyunjin decides that if Jisung isn't back by then, he’s going to look for him on his own. 

****

8:00PM comes and goes, and panic sits heavy in Hyunjin's chest. Is Chan still here? If he is, maybe he’d know where Jisung is. Hyunjin has been shifting around in the chair, pacing back and forth around the room, opening and closing drawers, and drawing patterns on the foggy windows for over two hours now. Maybe it would be best if he asked Chan what’s going on. He has to be worried, too. Right?

****

Chan is gone. The little sign on his door with his office hours printed reads  **CLOSED** in big, bold letters, and his lights are turned off. The door is shut and locked, which means Chan has gone home for real and isn’t just out of his office. Hyunjin is somewhat relieved that at least one of them will be able to have a peaceful evening. Maybe Minho or Woojin know where Jisung is hiding. 

****

“I haven't seen him all day, kiddo. Last I knew, he was in a meeting.” Minho leans against the doorframe, his arms crossed and his eyes tired. Hyunjin frowns. “Okay. Thank you anyway,” Hyunjin looks him over once more, takes in his appearance: his shoulders are slouched, his shirt is a little wrinkly, as if he'd fallen asleep at his desk recently, and his eye makeup is a bit smudged. 

****

“Minho, are you okay?” Hyunjin asks. He moves to reach out to Minho, hoping to offer him some comfort, but the stylist's hands find his first, thumbs feeling their way over the ridges of his knuckles. "I'm fine, Jinnie. Just a little tired," Minho sighs, and it feels heavy, weighted with something other than exhaustion – it feels like responsibility, and Hyunjin feels something like pity poke at his skin. He pushes it away before Minho has a chance to feel his hands twitch in his grasp. 

****

“You and Jisung head home soon, okay? Get some rest.” Minho taps the back of his hand with his thumb, and sends Hyunjin away with a small smile. Hyunjin has to stop himself from reaching back out, has to stop himself from telling Minho to make sure he takes his contacts out, to brush his teeth before bed. Maybe it's not his place to feel sorry for the responsibly that lies on the shoulders of people who accepted it with open arms. 

****

The only office left to check is Woojin's, so that's where Hyunjin heads next. He watches Minho move around to slouch behind his desk through the distorted glass, and hears a drawn out sigh. Hyunjin feels a frown tugs at the corners of his lips. 

****

The lights are turned off in Woojin’s office and a pink sticky note with the words _have a good weekend!_ written in Woojin’s loopy handwriting is stuck to the glass door. How did everyone manage to leave for the night without Hyunjin noticing? At least one of his team members always offers him a ride home if Jisung is staying late, but none of them did tonight. Perhaps they're all just as confused as Hyunjin is to Jisung's whereabouts. Maybe they're used to him disappearing to work, getting lost in his head and losing track of time because that's how they all function, as well. 

****

Back in Jisung’s little corner of the company building, his carry-on bag full of makeup is still perched on the uncomfortable chair in the corner of his office space, vanity lights are still turned on, and his little desk is still cluttered. The last thing Jisung always does before leaving for the night is clean off his small makeshift desk, tucking papers, notebooks, and a pencil case into the backpack he carries to work every morning. Even his desk is still a mess. Papers are strewn everywhere, a pencil cup is tipped over, and a page of notes written in sloppy handwriting is sitting front and center on the table. It’s the same blue notebook Jisung always takes to meetings. Hyunjin picks it up carefully, not wanting to disturb Jisung’s organized chaos, and glances over it.

****

On the paper is a list written in bullet points of what seems like tasks for Jisung to complete. Hyunjin scans his eyes over it quickly, barely able to make out Jisung’s haphazard handwriting. He catches onto the general idea, though: 

****

  * CONCEPT SHOOT NEXT WEEK
  * CLOSED TO PUBLic; FULL SUPPLIES



****

Hyunjin looks over the list once more to really understand it. Richard must be assigning Jisung to do a portfolio shoot for future resumes, but why, Hyunjin has no idea. Still, that helps to narrow down the places Jisung could possibly be hiding to one space in particular: the shoot room. He starts walking down a flight of stairs to the bottom floor, footsteps echoing throughout the eerie corridor.

****

The shoot room is a wide open space that helps to ease the claustrophobia Jisung so often feels from being cooped up in the back of the building. There’s also a couch in the back that Jisung could usually be found napping on whenever he gets a free moment. There aren't very many places Jisung considers “comfortable” in the big building, but, if he had to choose, Hyunjin is sure he'd choose the shoot room. Carefully, Hyunjin pushes the door open, fully expecting it to be locked like all the other doors at this time of night. Much to Hyunjin's surprise, the door squeals under his weight and opens with a hard push.

****

“Jisung?” Hyunjin calls, quieter this time. He doesn’t want to scare the boy if he is here. “Jisung, are you here?” There’s a rustling noise in the corner of the room, but Hyunjin can’t make anything out – his eyes have yet to adjust to the lighting. The fluorescents hanging from the ceiling are all dimmed – the only exception is the yellow overhead light that dangles above the backdrop, and a floor lamp beside the desk in the back. Hyunjin looks past the halos swimming in his vision and sees Jisung there, hunched over the small desk the way he always is, headphones placed over his ears to block out the silence that engulfs the open room. He approaches slowly, lets his shadow loom over Jisung for a moment to possibly warn him that he's there. Jisung flinches in his seat, and reaches up to remove the headphones from his ears. 

****

"Hyunjinnie," his voice is muffled from disuse, but the smile he sends Hyunjin's way as his name falls from his lips is practiced and pure. "What time is it?" Jisung asks, voice taking on a more concerned tone. His eyes glaze over Hyunjin's face, see his skin clear of makeup, and realization settles into his eyes. "It's late, isn't it?" Hyunjin flicks his phone on the check the time he'd lost track of in his search to find Jisung.

****

"It's only 9:15. I just wanted to get you home before you exhausted yourself," Hyunjin takes a step closer to peer over Jisung's shoulder, a mischievous smile pushing up his cheeks. "And to see what you've been working on all day." Jisung's eyes widen as he quickly covers the page in his sketchbook with splayed fingers. It's not entirely effective – Hyunjin can still see the outline of a face that looks an awful lot like his own, and the smudges of eyeliner around the carefully drawn-on eyes. Eyeshadow palettes are laid out around Jisung, creating a barrier between him, the lamp, and the single electric clock in the room. The red numbers flash periodically against the back of a palette and the fact that it's not visible feels a little intentional to Hyunjin. 

****

"It's a surprise," Jisung tucks his chin against his chest and moves to close his sketchbook. "For now." he says, giving Hyunjin a small smile, pushing him just a few feet away so he can stand and stretch his aching muscles. Hyunjin reaches for Jisung as he pulls his arms above his head, poking at the sliver of exposed tan skin when his shirt rides up. Jisung curls into himself with a little squeal and Hyunjin suddenly feels much more alive than he did ten minutes ago. 

****

"Tell me when we get home?" he questions, attempting to channel whatever is left of his inner child into his eyes to persuade Jisung. Hyunjin catches the hesitance that flits across his features – the way Jisung bites his bottom lip between his teeth and furrows his brows always gives him away. He's too expressive to hide anything from Hyunjin. 

****

"Yeah," he decides, nodding to himself as he gathers his things. "Yeah, I'll show you."

****

——

****

Jisung's apartment has a certain quietness about it that Hyunjin has never experienced anywhere else. Maybe Jisung's quiet demeanor has seeped into the atmosphere here, making the air permanently sleepy and laced with the scent of green tea and honey. Being here always makes Hyunjin feel a little more tired than he was before he stepped through the door, but not the exhausted kind of tired he normally feels. This is a cuddling-tired, a lazy-tired. It's a nap-on-the-couch type of tired, and Hyunjin always has to stop himself from pulling Jisung down onto the sofa with him to do just that. 

****

But Jisung is completely at home here in this space he's made for himself. It represents him so truly and accurately that Hyunjin can't imagine him ever creating a place more  _ him.  _ The apartment is all warm colors and soft personal touches placed meticulously here and there, and Hyunjin finds himself looking around aimlessly to see something new each time he's here. 

****

Jisung flicks on the kitchen light and sets his bag down on the counter, waiting for Hyunjin to follow him inside to do the same. He lights a candle on his way over to put his shoes in his bedroom and Hyunjin knows it's the honey-scented one the moment the lid comes off. The candle is low on wax, but still casts a dim glow through the room and carves out Jisung's features in a way that makes Hyunjin's stomach twist and his heart lurch to be closer to him. It hurts, but Hyunjin does nothing to quell his organs back into their assigned seats. 

****

"Will you make some tea? My throat feels funny." Jisung asks, poking his head in the doorway of his bedroom where Hyunjin knows his shoe rack sits neat and organized. Jisung doesn't wait for him to answer – more so, he  _ knows  _ that Hyunjin won't deny him his nightly tea. He would never. 

****

The bedroom door falls shut but doesn't latch as Jisung changes into his pajamas, a crease of light escaping from between the wooden frame and the door. Just as Hyunjin is taking the kettle off the stove, Jisung returns to the counter, shuffling folders around until he comes to the sketchbook he'd been working in all day. Hyunjin drops a tea bag into the steaming water to let it brew and turns his attention back to Jisung. 

****

"So, Richard called me into a meeting today with Seulgi, the head of the makeup department," Jisung begins, flipping through his sketchbook thoughtfully as he speaks. "She doesn't do as much stuff behind the scenes as Woojin, Chan, and Minho do, but she's very adamant about artists being given the proper tools to expand their creative ability, should they need to. To show off their talents, I guess," Jisung comes to a page bookmarked by a piece of blue construction paper and settles his fingers between the pages, looking up at Hyunjin. 

****

"Usually, makeup artists have a – a portfolio, I guess – before they start working for a company. Since I was so young when I started, I didn't have a chance to put one together. So, Seulgi wanted to give me a chance to do a portfolio shoot. To show 'em what I've got, ya know?" Jisung turns the page slowly, fingers fidgeting over the thick paper. On the first page is an outline of Hyunjin's face with minimal details on everything except the eyes – his eyes are always completely life-like in Jisung's drawings, and they're the same here. All the curves and sharp edges that make up Hyunjin's face are there, but they lack the usual detail and attention, instead being replaced with deep shadows and lines. His eyes are blown out with a deep black pencil, elongated to look more catlike, and the hollows of his cheeks are shaded to slim his face into something pointed, sultry, and suggestive. How Jisung managed to make him look like this in a  _ drawing,  _ Hyunjin has no idea. 

****

"I'm having a little trouble settling on a concept," Jisung explains, turning to the next page. On it is a full-figure drawing of Hyunjin, his curves and shadows all perfectly accurate. A black corset is laced tight around his waist with a billowing blouse underneath that rests at the back of his knees. Thigh-high black boots cover the tight jeans in the drawing, and Hyunjin is stunned by the accuracy with which Jisung can create things. He can imagine this outfit on his body as if he's already tried it on. 

****

"When I look at you, I see a lot of things. Creatively, I mean. A lot of directions I could go with styling you. There's this style: something blatantly sexualized, powerful, and dark," Jisung's eyes flick up from the page to meet Hyunjin's, gaging his reaction before flipping the page. He's weighing his words very heavily before speaking for someone who was planning to go straight to bed on the way home. 

****

"But then there's also this." On the next two pages are similar diagrams of Hyunjin's face and body, but with an entirely different concept. This one is light – the makeup around his eyes is soft, natural, and the curves of his cheeks are enhanced with blush and highlighter instead of diminished with shadows. The outfit is similar to the first, but Jisung drew it completely in a cream color a few shades darker than the paper. In this full-body sketch, Hyunjin's hair is an ashy blonde, and the flowing train of his shirt falls all the way to his feet, gathering in a graceful arc around him. It's beautiful, but in a different way than the first concept. 

****

"I can't choose," Jisung sighs, runs his fingers over the corner of his page, and takes a pencil out of his bag. "I want to do both, but I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off. The two concepts are so different from each other than it doesn't really make sense to do both." Jisung corrects a mistake he found on the face diagram, adding more fine hairs to the arch of Hyunjin's eyebrow in the sketch. More than likely, he's trying to think, and Hyunjin knows he has to he moving to think properly. 

****

"Does it have to make sense? Isn't the point of this shoot to show how diverse your style is?" Hyunjin suggests, turning to hand Jisung his forgotten tea. Jisung takes it into both hands, and just stares for a moment. His eyes dance over Hyunjin's features the way they always do, searching for something that Hyunjin can't see, but is so clear to Jisung somehow. Hyunjin sees the exact second when something clicks in Jisung's head – his eyes widen, a tiny gasp escapes him, and sets his mug down carefully on the counter. 

****

“Opposites,” Jisung mumbles, his tone suddenly thoughtful. “ _ Polar  _ opposites,” he snaps his sketchbook closed, holds it and a pencil close to his chest, and scurries over to the couch in the living room. Hyunjin follows closely behind him, taking a seat next to him on the couch as he hunched over the coffee table, writing down keywords on a blank page as he begins another rough sketch of a familiar face. “Polar opposites, Jinnie. You could do that easy,” Jisung is talking to himself, but Hyunjin hums in acknowledgement anyway, presses himself closer to the makeup artist's back to watch him work. Hyunjin runs an open hand up and down Jisung's back, squeezing the tense muscles of his shoulders as he sketches. There's no precision in the strokes of his pencil, but it's so distinct that Hyunjin wonders how often Jisung draws him to be able to do it so quickly and precisely. 

****

It takes Jisung two minutes to come up with a rough sketch of Hyunjin's face and another full-body one with words written in capital letters next to each picture: “SWAROVSKI CRYSTALS,” “ROSE GOLD SKIN LACQUER,” “DARK BLUE GLITTER,” “BLOND,” and “BILLOWING TRAIN” are just a few of the code words Jisung has written on the page. It looks vaguely similar to the other two sketches done in pencil, but the subtle differences are most likely what Jisung is worried about. Hyunjin can see the idea coming to life right before his eyes, and it's amazing to watch. He's never seen Jisung so inspired. 

****

“Green and gold,” he whispers, scribbling something else into the corner of the paper. “Straight gold, not rose gold. Black and silver – no!  _ Blue _ and silver,  _ yes _ ,” Jisung's voice raises and lowers with excitement and thought. He whips around to look at Hyunjin, concentration and utter fascination glittering behind his irises. “Close your eyes for me,” Jisung says this the same way he always does when he's doing Hyunjin's makeup. There's no authority behind it, yet Hyunjin never questions any of Jisung's commands despite that. 

****

“Hold still for me, Jinnie.” Jisung's hand cradles the back of his neck, and the dull end of the pencil drags over the crease of Hyunjin's eye as if Jisung is taking measurements with it. The short touch is gone and then back again, but under his brow bone this time, lighter, a bit quicker than the last time. Jisung whispers the numbers three and five under his breath. Hyunjin smiles, but allows Jisung to work his way around the angles of his face without complaint. He measures the curve of his jaw with his fingers, the bow of his top lip with the pencil, and pushes his finger tip into the divot between his bottom lip and his chin before he speaks again. “God, why is your face so confusing? You could've had angular and harsh features or soft ones, but you chose  _ both _ , you greedy bastard.” Hyunjin laughs at the off-handed comment, but he knows there's no malice behind it. Jisung is merely thinking out loud. Jisung mentions his face being confusing quite often, but Hyunjin has never thought to ask him what exactly he means by it. He has a feeling that if Chan or Minho ever heard him say that, then they would've explained already while teasing the two of them – Jisung about how obvious he is and Hyunjin about how oblivious he is to Jisung's obviousness. He still isn't quite sure what exactly they tease him about.

****

“Jisung,” he says, trying not to move his jaw as Jisung traces it with his pencil. “Why do you say my face is confusing? You say that a lot.” Jisung huffs out a laugh and taps Hyunjin's cheek twice – their signal that he can open his eyes. “Because it's confusing. No one has ever told you that before?” Hyunjin shakes his head. Jisung sighs, brings his his hand up to trace over Hyunjin's eyebrows with gentle fingers that are no longer measuring, just looking. Appreciating, maybe. 

****

“It's like your face changes everyday. Every time I look at you, I see something different or new. You're like a shapeshifter in a human's body, and I never know what exactly you're going to look like the next day, ” Jisung rests his hand against Hyunjin's neck and keeps his fingers busy with the silver chain dangling from his earlobe. “And I'm not saying that as a makeup artist. I'm saying that as a person who looks at you more often than he should and notices things because of it,” Jisung taps his fingers over Hyunjin's cheeks, and Hyunjin knows he can feel the blush rising under his fingertips, but he doesn't care. They're too close for Hyunjin to hide anything from Jisung anymore – physically and emotionally. It's a loaded statement for Hyunjin to make. 

****

“It's not a bad thing,” Jisung's gaze drifts away from his eyes, wanders to his fingers on Hyunjin's cheek, traces intentionally over his lips, and glances over the bridge of his nose before returning. Hyunjin watches him the whole time. “It's just something that's noticeable to me. I spend a lot of time looking at you, Jinnie,” He's tired and rambling, but Hyunjin doesn't make any motion to stop him. Jisung admits things he otherwise wouldn't when he's worn out, and Hyunjin is curious what's going on in his beautiful brain. “I like looking at you. Like looking at your eyes and your lips and your skin. You're just… you're just pretty, ya know?” There's mischief in Jisung's droopy eyes, and Hyunjin has half a mind to pick him up and carry him bridal style to bed. He could. Maybe he should. 

****

“You know. I know you know. You catch me staring too often to  _ not  _ know. I'm pretty obvious, aren't I?” Hyunjin just smiles down at him and laughs as softly as his chest will allow him so he doesn't disturb Jisung's exploring fingers. He sighs, leans into Hyunjin again, his arms finding their seemingly permanent place looped around his waist in a sideways hug. Hyunjin squeezes him a little tighter than he normally would just to let Jisung know he's there, and that he's stable enough for Jisung to put his weight on. 

****

That neither of them are going anywhere unless it's together.

********  
  


**_— December 13th_ **

****

It takes three days for Jisung to convince Woojin that he's not crazy (“Just because it was an idea that came to me late at night and the moment I saw Hyunjin does  _ not _ mean it’s  _ bogus _ ! I don’t  _ have  _ bad ideas, Woojin.”) Chan and Minho, on the other hand, give in very easily (“I’m offended that you even asked instead of just doing it, Sungie.” was Chan’s off-handed response. The hair stylist was busy shuffling through papers on his desk, but he still spared the two of them a warm smile. Minho’s response was similar: “Oh, thank god. I’m getting so tired of  _ khakis _ . Give me something  _ interesting _ , Jisungie!”) Jisung’s mind was whirring with possibilities and Hyunjin could hardly keep up with the boy. He was practically vibrating with excitement every second of the day, but Hyunjin has only been poked with eyeliner once, so it isn’t too severe. 

****

Yet. 

****

**_— 8:30 a.m._ **

****

“Jisung, please, for the love of  _ god _ , please focus. No, no, you know what – sit down. Sit  _ down. _ ” Woojin gets this tone in his voice when he’s in charge of something that, frankly, scares Hyunjin shitless. He never wants to get on Woojin’s bad side. Jisung isn’t even on his bad side – he’s just so excited that he physically can’t sit still. Jisung simply nudges Woojin out of the way, dodges his grabbing hands, and says, “You’re interrupting my pacing pattern, Woojinnie.” The photographer just sighs, takes a long sip from his iced coffee, and collapses into his chair. Chan comes quietly up behind them, slapping his hands down on Woojin's shoulders and begins kneading the tight flesh there. 

****

“He's just nervous, Wooj. No one's ever done anything like this for him, and he wants to prove himself.” Woojin exhales and glances over at Jisung, who is still pacing in a specific pattern, weaving around all the equipment and chewing his nails. Hyunjin already told him to stop biting his nails twice today.

****

“Sungie, stop biting your nails. You'll make them bleed.” It’s Minho who scolds him this time. Jisung responds promptly and holds his hands to his sides, looking down at his feet as he paces. 

****

Hyunjin watches Chan and Woojin converse calmly for a few moments before Minho pokes his shoulder and drags him away to his office. “I made something for you.” Minho's voice is quiet and excited as they half-jog down the hallway. “You  _ made  _ something for  _ me _ ?” Hyunjin asks, pointing dumbly to himself. Minho hums and pushes his office door open with his hip. Inside, as always, is the cluttered rack of clothes and chaotic desk that Hyunjin has grown so used to. Something different, however, is the shiny black bodysuit laid out over the back of Minho's desk chair. It's decorated with belts, buckles, and what looks to be  _ scales _ , and Hyunjin feels the hair on his arms stand with anticipation. 

****

Minho pulls him over to the outfit and holds it up against his chest. “This is your outfit for the first shoot. It'll be  _ really  _ tight, so I might have to help you get into it. Is that okay?” Hyunjin nods and runs his hands over the fabric. He was right – there's areas of the material that are highlighted with dark green scales. From a distance, the scales could be mistaken for sequins, but Hyunjin is positive that Minho designed something outrageous specifically for him. “You have to be very careful with it. The material doesn't look flimsy, but it does rip easily. It shouldn't be too bad if I help you get into it, though. There's just one thing,” Minho lays the garment down and opens up one of his desk drawers. He pulls out a tiny piece of thin fabric that looks vaguely like a women’s bathing suit bottom, but –

****

Oh, no. 

****

“You have to wear special underwear with it, and it's going to be really uncomfortable for the first few minutes, but you'll get used to it.” Hyunjin grimaces as he takes the fabric into his hands. It's so small. It's  _ so small.  _ “But  _ why?”  _ he asks – no,  _ begs.  _ There can't possibly be a good reason for him to wear a thong made of spandex material. Minho shrugs. 

****

“To make your ass look good. The type of material I used to make the bodysuit has a habit of compressing any fat or muscle, but we need to see the shape of your body. Therefore, you're wearing a thong.” Okay, that's a good reason. That’s a really good reason, and Hyunjin is willing to accept any help he can get in the ass department.

****

Wait.

****

“What about my dick?” Hyunjin asks, looking up at Minho with what probably looks like panic in his eyes. (It's definitely panic.) Minho rolls his eyes, but not before scoffing at Hyunjin’s exclamation. “It won’t  _ fall off.  _ Just put it between your legs and don’t widen your stance when you’re up on the platform,” he pauses, gives Hyunjin an absolutely  _ shameless  _ smile, and continues with it. “Ask Sungie to help you out if you have any issues. I’m sure he’d  _ love  _ to help you situate your dick.” 

****

Absolutely  _ shameless.  _ Hyunjin doesn’t even have the mental capacity to digest that statement at the current moment, so he leaves it for future-Hyunjin to contemplate late at night when he has nothing better to do. He's left a lot of things for future-Hyunjin to sort out lately, and current-Hyunjin has done  _ nothing  _ to solve past-Hyunjin's problems. He should really get on that.

****

Hyunjin sighs and holds out his open hands to accept the thong. Minho just smiles in the evil way that he does and hands it over. “Put that on and then give me a shout. I’ll come help you get into the bodysuit.” Sighing is becoming a very frequent habit of his and it’s all  _ Minho’s fault _ . 

****

——

****

Hyunjin has gained quite a bit of insight from this shoot, but there are definitely a few prominent points he’ll carry with him into the future:

  1. He’s willing to do a stupid amount of foolish and uncomfortable things to make Jisung happy, but so is the rest of his team. So. There’s that realization.
  2. No matter how toned his body is, there will always be something that looks misshapen or lumpy in a skintight bodysuit. _Always._
  3. His ass looks absolutely _fantastic_ in a thong, and he should start wearing tight pants more often. His legs are fucking great. 



****

The discomfort of having Minho shove his limbs into the bodysuit is all worth it the moment Hyunjin sees Jisung’s expression. He’s stunned, obviously, as he should be, but he’s been wearing a look of stark nervousness all day long, and it’s finally been somewhat alleviated. Jisung explained earlier that he’s most nervous about the first look for the shoot because his vision for it is so specific and it has to be  _ just right _ . Thankfully, Minho works magic when under pressure, and was able to bring Jisung’s vision to life in a matter of days. Minho had to take at least 30 measurements of different areas of Hyunjin’s body, explaining that the numbers had to be precise or the piece wouldn’t fit him right. He was correct – the bodysuit fits Hyunjin like a second skin, and it’s surprisingly comfortable once he’s situated in it (with  _ minimal assistance _ , in fact). 

****

The harnesses around his abdomen, wrists, and thighs are a soft faux leather material that doesn’t dig into his skin, and the buckles aren’t too tight where they cross in an X over his chest and circle under his arms. The harness straps down at the center of Hyunjin’s back in a hexagon shape, and it makes him stand a bit straighter and breathe a bit lighter. The wrist and thigh harnesses serve the same purpose: to keep Hyunjin’s limbs pliant and moveable, but to deprive him of the free range of movement he normally enjoys. It’s definitely constricting, but that’s the point: to feel trapped, in a way. The concept of polar opposites is both visually and symbolically very obvious already, and Hyunjin has a hard time comprehending the fact that  _ Jisung  _ came up with this. Precious, sweet, innocent little Jisung styled him in a full body harness, a dark emerald smokey eye, and sexed-out hair. Jisung did this.  _ Jisung did this.  _

****

“Hyunjin!” Chan calls out to him, motioning him over to the styling chair set up behind the camera equipment. “You look great,” Chan remarks, running his eyes up and down Hyunjin's body. He isn't checking him out – he never does – but instead, Chan is looking for imperfections, loose strings, a speck of glitter out of place. He usually doesn’t find anything to adjust, but Hyunjin never questions his concerned gaze. 

****

“Can you breathe in that thing?” Hyunjin nods and turns to Minho, expecting him to supply a more detailed description of the bodysuit. “The fabric isn't as stretchy as I planned for it to be, but it's flexible. I already told Woojin the precautions to take, but I'll tell you just in case he forgets,” Precautions? Minho hadn't mentioned the outfit being  _ dangerous _ . “Keep the lights off of him for extended periods of time. There's a possibility that he could overheat in this thing really easily, and I won't be able to get it off of him without cutting it if he sweats too much. The lights are dim anyway, but I want a fan on him at all times. Got it?” Minho's gaze is firm, unwilling to argue, and Chan might've shivered a little bit. Hyunjin chooses to ignore it in favor of picking at the belt around his wrist. 

****

Minho turns around and whistles loudly, catching the attention of everyone in the room. Woojin's team stops what they're doing and turns to look at the stylist as a silence falls over the room. Seriously, the power Minho commands is unreal. And terrifying. 

****

“Listen up!” he begins, raising his voice more than usual to address the entire room. “No one, and I mean  _ no one _ except Jisung and I can touch Hyunjin's clothes today. I don't care if there's a loose string or makeup on him. I don't care if there's a giant bug on him or a bird shit on his shoulder – you  _ do not  _ touch him _.  _ Come get one of us and we'll handle it. Is that clear?” There's a resounding “Yes, sir,” that filters through the room as everyone returns back to their work. Minho turns back around, and Hyunjin notices that Chan is visibly shaken. Minho grins, pats the hair stylist on the shoulder, and saunters away. Hyunjin chuckles. 

****

Jisung doesn't show up until after Woojin has briefed his team on the fan situation, adjusted the lighting, and Chan has ran soft hands through Hyunjin's hair three times. With his makeup bag in tow, Jisung pushes Hyunjin down into the styling chair and spreads his legs wide around his knees to bring himself down to Hyunjin’s eye-level. Hyunjin braces himself on the arms of the chair, ready for Jisung to come at him with an eyebrow pencil or something, but it never happens. 

****

Jisung tilts his chin up with one bent finger and pulls Hyunjin's bottom lip down and out with his thumb. There's a pair of tweezers in his hand that Hyunjin hadn't noticed, and Jisung's face is focused as he tugs on Hyunjin's lip. “Wha's ‘at?” Hyunjin attempts to ask. Jisung shushes him and pushes his finger into the divot between his lip and his chin the same way he'd done the other night.

****

“It's a fake stud. Makes it look like your lip's pierced. Hold still.” is Jisung's short reply. Hyunjin obeys and keeps his eyes focused on Jisung's lip pulled between his teeth in concentration. There's a second where Hyunjin feels the familiar tackiness of wet glue coming into contact with his skin, a gentle pressure on the fake stud, and then nothing. Hyunjin can tell that there's something under his lip, but it's not as noticeable as he figured it would be. Jisung reaches into a little plastic painter’s palette on the table beside them and picks up another smaller stone with the tweezers. He adjusts his stance and taps eyelash adhesive on the back of the stone before turning back around to face him, just as close as before.

****

“Close your eyes and try not to flinch.” Jisung mumbles, holding Hyunjin’s chin between two fingers to keep him still. A quiet calmness falls over the team as they watch Jisung work; Minho taps his fingertips rhythmically on the table and Chan is busy arranging his products on the vanity, but they’re both distracted by Jisung’s level of concentration. 

****

Carefully,  _ very  _ carefully, Jisung places on stone in the inner corner of Hyunjin’s eye, right over the sparkling gold shade he’d laid down earlier. He repeats the process with his other eye and whispers, “Keep your eyes closed for just a second longer, Hyunjin. We’re almost done.” Moments later, Hyunjin feels the familiar synthetic bristles of an eyeshadow brush stipple around the stone, setting the glue in place with the same shimmering shadow that sits underneath the jewelry. Jisung taps twice on Hyunjin’s cheek, and Hyunjin watches his body visibly relax when he opens his eyes.

****

“Perfect,” Jisung releases his lip from between his teeth and whispers before stretching his knees and stepping back. Hyunjin begins to move, but his chest collides with Jisung’s elbow before he has a chance to. It's an accidental movement, but Jisung's small shove nearly knocks the wind out of Hyunjin's already constricted lungs as he falls back into the chair. His bottom hits the chair first with his back following quickly after, and the harness digs into his skin through the thin material of the bodysuit. Jisung hears the pained gasp escape despite Hyunjin's attempt to keep quiet, and immediately turns around to begin apologizing. 

****

“Oh, my god, Hyunjinnie, I'm so sorry – I didn't mean –" Jisung's crouches down, hands hovering over his arms, checking him over for injuries for some reason, and Hyunjin can't help but laugh. Jisung's eyes widen and Hyunjin takes his shaking hands in his own, brings them down to rest on his thighs. His hands were completely steady just a moment ago. 

****

“It's okay, Sungie. My reflexes are just a little…  _ suppressed  _ in this outfit,” Jisung's hands are trembling and he looks like he could burst into tears any second. He's nervous. He's so nervous, and yet, he’s kept his nerves at bay the entire time they’ve been prepping for this shoot. Now, when there’s only ten minutes left before Woojin calls them all to the shoot room, before Richard undoubtedly will waltz through the heavy metal doors to see whether or not Jisung is “worth it,” before quite possibly the most important shoot of Jisung’s short life. Needless to say, he’s a little nervous. Hyunjin understands, and wants nothing more than to help. So, he tries in the only way he knows how when it comes to Jisung: __

****

“I'm okay. Promise,” Hyunjin brings their hands up for Jisung to see and locks their pinkies together. They tap their thumbs and Hyunjin decides to seal the promise with a kiss to Jisung's pinky. It's hardly there, but he knows that Jisung feels it. Even if he didn't, they're too close for him to miss it. Jisung’s gaze softens, his grip on Hyunjin’s hand slackens just a bit, and Hyunjin can see his thoughts passing over his eyes. After just a moment of deliberation, Jisung returns the action, and places the softest kiss to Hyunjin’s pinky. 

****

“Five minutes!”

****

**_— 12:45 p.m._ **

****

Hyunjin’s not sure exactly what he expected from the second outfit, but he trusts Minho to deliver. He trusts Jisung’s artistic vision, Chan’s talent, and Woojin’s eye for photography. He kind of trusts himself, too, evidently. He saw the sketches of both outfits before Jisung refined them and turned them over to Minho, but that was after a late-night fury of inspiration in the still darkness of Hyunjin’s apartment with Jisung sprawled out on the kitchen floor, a notebook and pencil sheltered underneath him. Hyunjin was a bit afraid to disturb him then, afraid to distract the artist and throw off his  _ mojo _ , but Jisung asked him frequently for his input, and took a few breaks here and there to study Hyunjin’s face and the lines of his body, as well as to snack on fruit gummies. It was a process.

****

Hyunjin trusts them all to deliver. And they do  _ deliver _ . 

****

They rush through lunch quicker then normal (Minho is practically inhaling a caesar salad and Chan is chugging energy drinks like he’s going off to fight in the Colosseum any minute, but it’s only a little bit concerning), but Hyunjin is still given ten minutes more than everyone else to prevent him from eating too quickly and getting sick. That was a rule Chan had put into place after their first full-day shoot when Hyunjin had been forced to eat a full meal in less than ten minutes and had vomited for the rest of the day. Hyunjin has thanked his lucky stars for Chan ever since. Jisung uses the extra ten minutes to inform Hyunjin on what this portion of the shoot will consist of and to help him take off his makeup since there’s a substantial amount of glue on his face. 

****

“I can take off my own makeup, Sungie. You kinda put glue on my face everyday.” Hyunjin protests Jisung taking off his makeup everyday out of courtesy – he knows the makeup artist is busy and taking off their client’s makeup typically isn’t something a makeup artist does between shoots – but Jisung always declines having anything better to do. Hyunjin will never admit that he likes it when Jisung dotes on him. That’s a secret he’d like to keep. 

****

“Yeah, but if you take it off yourself and get glue in your eyes, I’ll never forgive myself. You’d better just let me do it.” Jisung’s excuses are always just sensible enough that Hyunjin can’t really argue with them, and always followed by a smile that’s probably a little too fond to be shared between co-workers. Oh, well. Hyunjin has long since accepted that his feelings towards Jisung are more than co-worker friendly. It’s comfortable like this, and Hyunjin would much rather have Jisung smiling like that than acknowledge his feelings. 

****

“So, this shoot,” Jisung begins. He’s picking at the glue in the corner of Hyunjin’s eye with a toothpick-looking thing, and that’s not how he usually removes glue, but Hyunjin doesn’t question it. “What we did before was the  _ yin  _ concept – dark, commanding, and seductive with just the slightest hint at submissive. This is the  _ yang  _ concept, so it’ll be the opposite – bright, intriguing, energetic, angelic, in a way. This has been the concept that I think suits you best ever since I met you,” Jisung holds two damp cotton pads over Hyunjin’s eyelids, waits for the makeup to absorb into them, and wipes away the eyeshadow. Hyunjin fights the urge to dig his knuckles into his eyes and  _ rub _ .

****

“Your makeup won’t exactly be light – it’ll still be full coverage, I mean, but not the dark colors that we used before. I’m using a different palette for your eyes, and I’m not going to contour your face as much. Instead–” he pauses to wet two more cotton pads with makeup remover and swipes them over Hyunjin’s cheeks, around his hairline, and beneath his jaw. “Instead, I’m going to let your face be naturally soft. Your features are really easy to accentuate and make sharp, but they’re very easy to keep natural, too. I’ll do your base like usual and add some light contour to make your blush really pop. After that, I think I’ll add some fake freckles here and there to soften your face even more. Give you kind of a youthful appearance, you know?” Hyunjin watches Jisung talk about his vision and is suddenly struck with a feeling of content. He’s so passionate, so knowledgeable about his craft, and Hyunjin is pretty sure he could listen to him talk about it all day long. Maybe longer. 

****

“How’s that sound?” Jisung asks, dragging a makeup wipe over his skin one last time to remove any product clinging to his pores. Hyunjin nods, having not really heard if he said anything between the end of his explanation and his question. Jisung smiles. “Great,” he pats Hyunjin on the thigh and disposes of the used makeup wipes and cotton pads. “Let’s get going then. We only have two hours for hair and makeup, and Chan has something special planned for you.” 

****

——

****

Once again, Hyunjin isn’t sure what he expected when Jisung said Chan had “something special” planned for him. Even after seeing Jisung's sketches and watching him write  **BLOND** in bold letters next to them, he didn’t expect semi-permanent blond hair dye, but he’s certainly not opposed to it. 

****

“I wondered why Jisung said you needed more time than him today.” Hyunjin comments, watching Chan scramble around his office to gather the supplies he needs. Jisung finished Hyunjin’s makeup early and immediately sent him over to Chan, much to the hair stylist’s distress. Now, Hyunjin is leaning uncomfortably over a sink with a slick cloak draped over his front while Chan scurries around him, mumbling to himself about dyes and what will do the least amount of damage to Hyunjin’s hair. 

****

“He’s a  _ shithead _ ,” Chan grumbles. He seems to have decided on a color, though, and brings over a bowl of goopy purple liquid to show Hyunjin. It looks like pudding, and Hyunjin is about to tell Chan that his lunch will make a surprise appearance if he jiggles it in his face one more time. 

****

“Have you ever dyed your hair before?” Hyunjin shakes his head, running his hands through his dark hair. Stylists always told him that his natural black hair was best suited to his skin tone and that if anyone ever tried to change it, they were sabotaging him. Hyunjin doesn’t believe that, never has, especially not now with how worried Chan looks. “Okay, great. Maybe great,” Chan mumbles the last part to himself. Oh, he’s so worried. It’s kind of funny. 

****

“So, in the colored sketches, Jisung has your hair this ashy blond color, but it would take me _hours_ – no, days – to dye your hair from pure black to light blond, so we can’t do that. Not today, anyway,” Chan pauses, swirls his brush in the purple mixture again like it’s helping him think, and looks back up at Hyunjin. “So, I’m gonna do something that’s more… transitional? I talked to Sungie about it, and he’s not _happy_ per se, but he agreed that he doesn’t want to damage your hair that much in one day. Plus, the dye doesn’t take hold that quickly, and I don’t think he factored that into this whole equation. So–” Another pause, and Chan sets down the bowl and walks behind Hyunjin to switch on the sink beneath his head. He runs his fingers through Hyunjin’s hair to get out any tangles he missed earlier, wraps a towel around his hairline to protect his makeup (“Why did Jisung go first? He _knew_ we were doing this, that little dick.”) and pulls his head down under a stream of water. 

****

“The color is kind of chestnut brown. It’ll look really nice on you since your skin has yellow undertones, and I’ll put in some caramel highlights if we have time. It’ll take longer to lighten your hair than it will to dye it, but I think we can get it done. Does that sound okay to you?” Hyunjin nods the best he can with Chan’s fingers tugging shampoo through his hair. He looks up at Chan through soapy bangs and smiles. 

****

“Thanks, Chan.” The hair stylist wipes the damp hair away from Hyunjin’s face and returns the smile, deep dimples appearing at the curl of his lips. Hyunjin really likes Chan’s dimples; they frame his face in a way that’s really special. His smile is sweet, almost shy. “Anything for you, Jinnie.” 

****

——

****

Minho is always the last person Hyunjin sees before a shoot, and he makes him the most nervous by far. Minho’s gaze is scrutinizing in a way that Jisung’s or Chan’s could never be. He searches for imperfections in Hyunjin with his whole being, circles him like a hawk around prey, pokes and prods at his body like he’s a lamb in a petting zoo, and then proceeds to doll him up  _ more _ . Hyunjin normally is a little confused by the way Minho looks him over, but the stylist always makes sure he knows his intentions are anything but malicious. Today, however, Minho’s expression switches to one of surprise and what looks to be delight. Hyunjin can’t quite tell. 

****

“Hyunjin! You – he – Chan, did you… You’re  _ blond _ .” Minho’s voice is a little squeaky, a little quieter than usual as he motions between Hyunjin and Chan, and his hands look like they want to touch Hyunjin’s hair, but Chan stops him. “His head is still a little sensitive from the bleach, so try not to mess with his hair too much. Jisung didn’t have the foresight to switch hair and makeup times, so get him dressed quick and send him out so Sungie has enough time for touch-ups, okay?” Chan says all of this in one breath and stumbles out of Minho’s office, leaving them both rather perplexed. 

****

“Who pissed in his Wheaties? Was it you, Jinnie?” Minho boops his nose playfully and cards careful fingers through his freshly-dyed hair. His scalp doesn’t really hurt – it only burnt a little at first because of the chemicals, but his head feels fine. Chan just worries too much. 

****

“Do you like it?” Hyunjin asks shyly. He’s not too sure about it yet, having been so used to his natural black hair. Minho smiles and pets his head. He’s taken to babying Hyunjin a lot more as of late, but Hyunjin certainly isn’t going to complain. Minho’s shift from something resembling a protective older brother to a seriously doting friend has been entertaining for the entire team, and Hyunjin is perfectly fine with being the object of their affections. 

****

“I  _ love  _ it. I always thought you’d look good with blond hair. I’m just surprised Channie managed to lighten it this much in such a short amount of time.” Minho compliments.

****

“It wasn’t this light to begin with. Chan said it’s like a chestnut brown color, but he sprayed it with something to make it lighter temporarily for the shoot since Jisung wanted it to be blond.” Minho chuckles. “Well, Jisung is going to  _ shit  _ when he sees this. That poor boy really has no idea what he’s getting himself into,” Minho gives Hyunjin another once-over and smiles. 

****

“Let’s get you dressed, yeah?” 

****

——

****

Hyunjin should be used to this by now – being amazed by the talent of his team, that is. As usual, Minho took it upon himself to create something special for Hyunjin, and it is definitely  _ special.  _ When Hyunjin first saw the piece fifteen minutes ago, he thought it was a dress of some sort (which he wouldn’t be opposed to wearing), and Minho had to help him get into it. It’s not a dress, but the flowing train and corset bodice could pass as something taken from a dress. The fabric is pure white and ruffled over the white corset, cinched at the wrists, and cuffed around Hyunjin’s neck like a choker. The top is light, a little sheer, and makes Hyunjin want to twirl in front of the mirror to see the way it moves. The nude spandex he’s wearing underneath are kind of killing the whole look, though. 

****

Minho begins lacing up the corset at his back, looping the strings in and out of the clasps, and explaining the mechanics of it to Hyunjin: “I made this corset specifically for you with your measurements, your height, build, and weight in mind. This corset won’t fit anyone the same way it fits you, and it will fit you  _ perfectly _ , I promise,” Hyunjin can feel the strings tugging tight around his waist, the fabric of the shirt moving against his skin, and he gasps when Minho pulls the loop. He peeks around Hyunjin’s shoulder to gage his reaction. “Breathe in and hold it,” he instructs, fingers moving quickly to secure the corset. “It’ll be uncomfortable for a minute, but it’ll loosen the more you breathe. Tell me if it’s too tight, okay?” Hyunjin nods, closes his eyes, and sucks in a deep breath before Minho braces one hand on his shoulder and  _ pulls _ . 

****

It’s tight. It’s really tight, and Hyunjin tries not to make any sound as his back is pulled flush against Minho’s front from the intensity of the strings knotting together, restricting his breathing. “Just a few more seconds, Jinnie.” Minho assures. Hyunjin can feel his hands working quickly to finish the knots, and he stands up straighter to help him out. Hyunjin feels tears beginning to well in his eyes from the lack of breath, and he’s about to reach back and signal to Minho that he can’t hold it any longer when he hears a loud  _ snap  _ and Minho taps him on the shoulder. “Breathe out. You did great,” Hyunjin exhales harshly and inhales again. How did women do this  _ every day  _ in the past? He never wants to experience that again.

****

“I’ll go get your pants and shoes and you’ll be ready to go. Pick out some gold earrings, would ya?” Hyunjin is tempted to bend over, put his hands on his knees and catch his breath, but he physically  _ can’t  _ with the corset wrapped around his ribs. It’s more constricting than the harness by miles. Instead, he tries to walk off the pressure in his lungs, paces around the room a couple times to collect his breath, and then stops at Minho’s desk to look at the jewelry. 

****

After his first shoot, Minho has always let Hyunjin choose his own jewelry with few guidelines and no rejections to anything he chooses. Hyunjin has noticed, however, that the selection of jewelry displayed on Minho’s desk is always changing. There’s always different combinations of earrings that all seem to fit whatever he’s wearing that day, and Hyunjin realized a while ago that Minho has been limiting his options. Helping him make a decision, more so. He's grateful for the gentle guidance. 

****

Minho renters the office with a pair of stark white jeans hanging over his arm and tall white boots in his free hand. “Put these on while I straighten you up. We have to get you to Jisung so he can redo the contour around your hairline. It literally looks like you're wearing a dirty face mask right now.” Hyunjin scoffs and takes the pants from Minho. They're tight skinny jeans, Minho's favorite thing to put Hyunjin in, apparently. Hyunjin struggles into the pants, kicking and jumping around blindly to squeeze his thighs into them while trying not to completely undo the corset. Minho just  _ laughs _ . He circles Hyunjin a few times, tucking and pulling at the fabric of his shirt, and pats him on the butt when he deems him presentable. “Ready to make Jisung have a gay crisis?” Minho cocks an eyebrow and grins up at him. Hyunjin nearly gags. “It’s starting to feel like that’s my only purpose on this team.”

****

**_— 3:02pm_ **

****

As far as Hyunjin knows, this is a closed shoot – no other teams, no additional makeup artists or stylists standing by, and only Woojin and his team working in the shoot room. Jisung is in the middle of redoing Hyunjin’s contour when Richard enters the shoot room followed closely by his assistant, a reporter, and who Hyunjin recognizes as the head of the makeup department, Jisung’s boss, Seulgi. He’s only seen Seulgi a few times and has never talked to her, but Jisung describes her as being very serious about her job and not letting anything less than perfect leave the company building. Hyunjin glances over Jisung’s shoulder when the door opens and feels the artist stiffen in front of him. 

****

“Who is it?” Jisung whispers, halting the movement of his brush around Hyunjin’s hairline. “Richard, his assistant, and a reporter, I think. Seulgi is with them, too.” Jisung exhales heavily and gets back to work, his hands a bit shakier than they were previously. 

****

Hyunjin looks for the other members of his team, trying not to move too much and make Jisung’s job more difficult than it already is. He’s a little more skittish than normal today. Chan and Minho are talking in the corner of the room, both of them standing with their arms crossed over their chests, motioning around the room. Hyunjin catches Minho gesturing to Richard before he glances over to him and Jisung. He looks mad. 

****

“Minho doesn’t look happy.” Hyunjin mumbles when Jisung steps back to get a different product. “He isn’t,” Jisung keeps his eyes down, coats an angled brush in contour powder and brings it up to Hyunjin’s face. “This is a closed shoot, and it says so on the door. No one, not even supervisors, are allowed to oversee an employee’s portfolio shoot. The fact that my boss and their boss is here is probably pissing Minho off to no end. He said this would happen,” Jisung turns Hyunjin’s face to the side with a gentle hand on his chin. “Why are they here then?” “To watch, I guess. I expect Woojin will kick them out before the shoot actually starts. He won’t let them make you uncomfortable.” 

****

Over Jisung’s shoulder, Hyunjin can see Richard approaching Woojin, a conversational smile on his face and a hand extended in front of him for Woojin to shake. Seulgi smiles as well, and Woojin steps past Richard to shake her hand instead. Hyunjin tries to suppress his laugh, but Jisung catches it and grins at him. 

****

“What is it?” he asks, small smile lifting the corners of his lips. “Woojin just ignored Richard’s handshake to shake Seulgi’s hand instead. It was so  _ smooth _ .” Jisung chuckles. “That sounds about right. Woojin has a lot of respect for Seulgi, but none for Richard. It’s understandable though – Seulgi knows how to do her job, and Richard just prances around here and pretends like he knows what he’s doing.” Hyunjin laughs and continues to watch the exchange. Woojin is smiling politely the entire time, but only at Seulgi, and anytime Richard attempts to interrupt the two of them, they both shoot him a glare that, frankly, scares Hyunjin. 

****

“It seems like Seulgi isn’t too fond of Richard either,” Jisung grins again and turns around for just a second to see the two talking. Hyunjin peers around him and see Woojin gesture to them with a warm smile. Seulgi waves at Jisung and gives a smaller wave to Hyunjin. Jisung smiles to her and turns back, whispering, “Nobody’s fond of Richard. It’s his own fault for making it obvious that he doesn’t know how to do his job.” Hyunjin smiles, but it drops quickly when he sees Seulgi bid Woojin goodbye and make her way over to him and Jisung. 

“Oh,  _ shit _ , Jisung, she’s coming over–”

****

“It’s  _ fine _ , Hyunjin. She probably just wants to introduce herself to you. She’s very nice, I promise.” Jisung reassures, tapping two fingers on Hyunjin’s cheek. He fixed his contour first, so he’s almost done touching up his makeup now and Hyunjin is a little more than disappointed that it took hardly any time at all. Still, he’s glad Seulgi will get a chance to see the finished look, to see what Jisung can  _ really  _ do. She approaches them slowly, like she doesn’t want to scare either of them, but Hyunjin notices that Jisung still flinches a little bit. Seulgi has long black hair and bangs that frame her slender face, thin eyeliner, straight brows, and a presence that makes it very obvious that she’s in charge. Hyunjin can definitely appreciate it. 

****

“Are you Hyunjin Hwang?” she asks, warm smile on her face. Hyunjin nods and does his best to return the smile, but it probably looks a little scared. Jisung is tense beside him, fiddling with his fingers in his lap, and Hyunjin reaches over to curl his pinky around Jisung’s. Seulgi glances down at the motion and her smile widens. 

****

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Seulgi Kang, head of the makeup department. I won’t be staying for the shoot, but I can see that Jisung has done a wonderful job with you. Would you mind if I take a look at your sketches, Jisung? I understand that you designed this concept yourself.” Jisung straightens up, and Hyunjin can actually see him go into Business Mode. “Of course!” he exclaims, reaching over to the table to grab a folder with his sketches in it. He pulls out three papers and hands them over to Seulgi, bowing slightly.  _ Suck up _ . 

****

Seulgi flips through the papers for a minute, and Jisung glances over at Hyunjin at least three times out of nervousness. Hyunjin laces their fingers together again and squeezes his hand, fiddling with his necklace with the other.  _ You’re fine _ , he mouths, and Jisung nods, but doesn’t look like he believes it in the slightest. 

****

“These are fantastic, Jisung,” Seulgi mumbles, sounding more surprised than anyone else did when they first saw them. “I’ve never really seen what you can do. I’ve heard that you’re fantastic, but Richard seems to think differently for some reason,” she hands the papers back to Jisung and the smiles she gives him is understanding, caring, and warmer than Hyunjin expected. “I’ll look into that for you. I’m tired of him degrading  _ my  _ artists, especially the ones with exceptional talent.” Jisung blanks, squeezes Hyunjin’s hand and then his face splits into the brightest smile Hyunjin has seen in a while. He’s  _ so cute. _

****

“T–Thank you, Ms. Kang. I really appreciate that.” Seulgi huffs, and lays a gentle hand on Jisung’s shoulder. He doesn’t flinch as much as he did a few minutes ago, and Hyunjin smiles. “Please, just call me Seulgi. I’m your supervisor, not your superior.” 

****

There's a moment when all three of them are simply smiling at each other, Jisung’s hand is warm in Hyunjin’s grasp and Seulgi looks positively  _ proud _ . The moment is interrupted by Woojin’s firm voice raising in volume, along with Chan and Minho shouting next to him. When did they get over there? 

****

“You’re not allowed to be here, Richard.  _ I’m  _ not allowing you to be here. That’s final.” It’s Woojin who speaks first. Chan and Minho flank him on the sides, ready to back him up if need be. Jisung stands from where he’s seated next to Hyunjin, and Seulgi’s face drops. “We’ll talk later. Good luck to you two.” She gives them one last smile, but it’s forced, practiced, professional, and Hyunjin doesn’t really favor that smile. 

****

Seulgi walks over to the confrontation happening in the center of the room, her heels clicking on the linoleum floor, and Hyunjin feels a shiver crawl up his spine.  _ This  _ is why she’s in charge, Hyunjin realizes. Chan and Minho don’t budge from their places beside Woojin, but they do drop their arms from in front of their chests and tuck their chins against their collarbones. They make themselves small in Seulgi’s presence, and even Richard shrinks a little bit. Woojin, however, doesn’t back down from his power stance. He’s up in Richard’s face, and if Hyunjin were in Richard’s position, he would’ve already fled from Woojin’s piercing gaze. He’s  _ cold _ , and Hyunjin has only ever seen Woojin be completely warm. He’s warm towards him, towards the rest of the team, but specifically towards Jisung. Woojin is a comfortable embrace, a shoulder to lean on, and a welcoming smile during the drag of the mid-day exhaustion. But now, he’s cold, protective, a firm force where he stands. His presence is so commanding that Hyunjin genuinely can’t believe Richard ever dared to stand up to him.

****

“Gentlemen, can’t we be civil in front of the other employees? Let’s save this for department meetings, shall we?” Seulgi reprimands them, and Hyunjin feels himself sinking back into his chair, pulling Jisung closer by his hand. Richard huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes. “Seulgi, it isn’t your place to tell us when we can and can’t be civil.” 

****

“You’re right – it isn’t. I thought it was _common sense_ that you don’t come into someone else’s workspace and make a fool of yourself, _Richard_. It’s not my job to supervise you either, yet, here we are.” _Oh, shit._ Richard gapes at Seulgi and turns to look at Woojin, who just smiles. It’s _cold_ , and Hyunjin feels Jisung shuffle just slightly closer to him. “You did not _have_ to come with me, Seulgi. I, on the other hand, _obviously_ need to oversee these _children_. They have no idea what they’re doing.” Richard directs his statement at Chan, Minho, and Woojin, who all glare at him in disgust. Minho steps forward, and he looks startlingly calm. Woojin tries to stop him with a hand on his shoulder, but the stylist shakes him off. Minho is in Richard’s face before Woojin can protest. His gaze is sharp above Richard’s round face, and Minho resembles a cat ready to pounce on its prey in that moment. Hyunjin would fear for Richard’s safety if he cared more, but, alas, he doesn’t. 

****

“Listen,  _ Richard _ . I know you’ve never done anything important in your life and you’ve never had a passion other than making others feel like shit, but this is kind of what  _ we  _ do. Don’t forget that  _ you  _ appointed us as heads of our departments, and you’re one step down from us no matter how you look at it.  _ You  _ are the last person who needs to oversee us,” Minho takes a breath, and Hyunjin thinks for a moment that he’s going to spit in Richard’s face. He wouldn’t blame him. 

****

“These people, these  _ kids _ , are pursuing their dreams, and I know you can’t relate. These  _ kids  _ have more passion, more talent in their  _ pinky finger _ than you’ll ever have in your entire body. The last goddamn thing I’m going to let you do, as  _ their supervisor _ , is make them uncomfortable while they’re  _ working _ ,” Richard swallows thickly, and Seulgi grins beside him, hand on her hip. Hyunjin feels something pool in his gut – pride? Confidence? Something. Minho has that effect on people.

****

Minho has kept his hands to his sides during this whole exchange, save the few pokes to Richard’s chest and gestures towards Hyunjin and Jisung. Now, his anger has peaked, and he isn’t willing to let Richard speak anymore on the matter. 

****

“ _ Get out, _ ” he spits, giving Richard a harsh shove away from him. “Get out of my  _ face _ , get out of this  _ room _ , and don’t even  _ think  _ about punishing Jisung or Hyunjin for this. If you want to punish someone because  _ you  _ can’t do your job, then punish  _ me.  _ Don’t be a fucking coward,” Minho scowls, and it’s more evil than any grin Hyunjin has ever seen him give. Minho’s expressions change from serious to teasing so quickly that, sometimes, Hyunjin has a hard time keeping up with what he’s actually trying to convey. Right now, though, Minho is  _ mad _ , and it’s obvious that what he’s about to say will be final, scalding, and intentionally rude. Richard looks ready to run out of the room. 

****

“You’d be better off to resign. You’re  _ fucking pathetic _ .” 

****

Seulgi smiles, pats Minho on the shoulder, and moves to collect Richard and direct him out of the shoot room. “Let’s go, Richard. I need a damn coffee.” Richard turns around, gears up to say something, but it dies on his tongue. Minho gives him a graceful wave as Seulgi ushers him out the door. The moment the door clicks shut behind them, Chan wraps an arm around Minho’s waist, pulls him back against his chest, and places the smallest kiss on his cheek. Minho sinks into his embrace, placing his palms on the arms wrapped around his waist. “Our little badass.” Chan probably meant for that to be heard by Minho alone, but the shoot room is so silent that everyone hears it. Minho smiles and looks over to Hyunjin and Jisung, beckoning them over. Jisung pulls Hyunjin up and drags him over to where the rest of the team is gathering into a group hug. Jisung latches onto Woojin, tucks his head under his arm, and Hyunjin is scooped up into Minho’s arms, his front pressed against Chan’s arms that are still wrapped around Minho’s waist. “Thanks, Minho.” Hyunjin mumbles into Minho’s neck, laying his head on his shoulder, careful not to rub his makeup off. Minho runs a hand through his fresh blond hair and laughs low in his chest. “I feel like I told you this already, but I’ll tell you again:  _ anything  _ for you, Jinnie.” 

****

**_—10:14pm_ **

****

Jisung has kept busy pouring over shots from the day long after the hours of overtime pay have passed, and Hyunjin clocked out of work, like, two hours ago. Now, they’re the only ones left in the building for sure, and Hyunjin is sprawled out on a blanket on the floor of Jisung’s office space, waiting for him to finish whatever he’s doing. What  _ is  _ he doing? 

****

“What are you doing?” Hyunjin asks, breaking the thick silence in the room. Jisung jumps at the sound of his voice and slaps his hand over his heart. “I forgot you were here.  _ Shit, _ ” he pauses for a long moment to steady his heartbeat and then looks down at Hyunjin. Hyunjin looks at him upside down, the unspoken question teasing at his lips:  _ When are we leaving?  _

****

“I’m looking over all the shots from today. You did a really good job.” Hyunjin smiles sleepily, closes his eyes and swipes his bangs out of his eyes. His hair is free of products and his face is clean of makeup, which usually means it’s time to leave. But, here he is, lying on the floor at Jisung’s feet like a puppy waiting for their owner. It’s a little funny. 

****

“I would feel more inclined to believe you if we were laying on my couch instead of the floor,” Hyunjin flops over onto his stomach to mess with Jisung’s shoelaces, untying them and double knotting them again. Jisung always doubleknots his laces, and Hyunjin has no idea why he finds that endearing. Probably because it’s  _ Jisung _ . 

****

“It’s late, Sung. We should get home soon.” Jisung glances down at him and then at his wristwatch and sighs. “Shit, I’m sorry, Jinnie. I didn’t even realize what time it was.” Hyunjin scoots over on his elbows, unties Jisung’s other shoe and doubleknots it again. “It’s okay. I mean, it could be later. I’d like to be in bed before midnight though.” Jisung begins gathering up his things, tucks the printed photos into a folder and puts it next to his portfolio in his carry-on bag. 

****

“Of course. Tell me next time, okay?” Hyunjin just nods, lifts himself off the floor, and rubs at his eyes. He looks through his fingers to see Jisung looking back at him, a soft look in his eyes. “What?” Hyunjin questions, a little whiny. He’s really tired, and Jisung is strictly  _ not  _ allowed to make him feel soft after 9:00PM. “Nothing. You’re just cute,” Jisung smiles and pulls on Hyunjin’s wrists, mumbling, “Don’t rub your eyes, Jinnie. It’s not good for them.” Hyunjin listens – of course he listens. 

****

Jisung packs up his things quickly and reminds Hyunjin to put his shoes on before they leave and collects his things, as well. He knows how forgetful Hyunjin can be when he’s tired, so he always makes a point to carry both their backpacks. 

****

The parking lot is dark, but Hyunjin can still see the reflective tape on the sign marking Chan's parking spot, which is right next to where Jisung normally parks. If he collapses into the car, then he doesn't realise it. Dignity be damned. 

****

The air is cold in Jisung’s car, but Hyunjin feels warm the moment he sits down in the passenger seat, his cheek pressed against the seatbelt cover, and his legs folded on the seat. Jisung smiles at him, turns the keys in the ignition, and hands over the aux cord. Hyunjin holds it in his hand, turns it over in his palm for a minute, thinking. 

****

“Something wrong?” Jisung questions, putting the car into reverse, his right arm coming to the back of Hyunjin’s headrest to help him see out the rearview window.  _ Sweet _ . “Would it be weird of me to say that I just wanna hear you talk? I’m afraid I’ll fall asleep if I listen to music, and I wanna hear about your day and what you thought about the shoot. Or you can talk about something not work-related – that’s fine, too.” Hyunjin blurts all of this out in one breath, and decides to stop where he does before he starts thinking too much. 

****

Jisung just giggles at him, looking over when they reach a red light to run a hand through Hyunjin’s hair. It’s been tangled ever since Chan dyed it earlier, and Hyunjin has a feeling he’ll have to wash the spray out before it goes back to being soft again. Still, Jisung manages to card his fingers through his bangs and says, “Sure, Jinnie. Tell me what you want me to talk about.” His voice is  _ soft _ and Hyunjin finds himself sinking further into the seat to escape the deepness of it. Maybe he’s melting. 

****

“I don’t  _ know _ ,” Hyunjin whines, trapping Jisung’s hand between his own and pulling it into his lap to play with his fingers. Jisung lets him. “How do you think I did? Be honest.” Jisung laughs again, lower this time, and raises his eyebrows when he glances over at Hyunjin. “You want me to compliment you, huh? I thought I did enough of that already, but I guess not.” Jisung sighs, but there’s not bite to it; it’s fond if anything, and Hyunjin feels a familiar heat rising in his cheeks. Jisung is  _ mean _ .

****

“That’s not–” 

****

“It  _ is _ , and it’s okay. I love complimenting you, Jinnie. You get all blushy and hide your face behind your hands. It’s  _ cute _ .” Hyunjin opens his mouth to protest, but nothing comes out. What can he say to that? He’s literally blushing  _ right now _ . “Okay, but–” Jisung cuts him off again, but Hyunjin doesn’t actually care. He has no idea what he was going to say, anyway. “You did  _ wonderful _ today, Hyunjinnie. You really embraced both concepts and brought them to life. I know Chan and Minho thought the same thing,” They round the second corner, and Hyunjin realizes they’re almost home _.  _ “They were going over the shots with Woojin after we finished, and they were so surprised that you pulled it off so well. I knew you would, but Minho was afraid you’d be shy about one or both of the concepts. I think you digested it really well, though. I didn’t doubt you for a second. I never do,” Jisung squeezes his hand in Hyunjin’s lap, and Hyunjin is tempted to press his face to the frosty window to cool the heat in his cheeks. 

****

“Chan was really excited about the whole thing. He was nervous though, but only because he got word that Richard would try to stop the shoot. Minho said earlier today that he wouldn’t let that happen, but I didn’t expect him to blow up on Richard like that,” Jisung pauses for a moment, taps his fingers on the steering wheel like he’s trying to contain his excitement for some reason. Probably for Hyunjin’s sake, honestly. “It was so  _ awesome _ . I’ve never seen Minho that pissed.” Jisung’s right: it was awesome. Scary, but awesome, nonetheless. If Hyunjin had any doubts as to why Minho is a person in charge, today would’ve cleared them right up. 

****

Jisung pulls the car into the parking garage, brings it to a smooth stop, and turns the keys. “Come on, Jinnie. Let’s get you inside before you fall asleep in here again.” Hyunjin huffs, but follows Jisung out of the car when he locks it behind him. “One time! I fall asleep in your car  _ one time _ and suddenly you think I’m going to do it all the time.” Jisung just laughs, throws Hyunjin’s backpack over the roof of the car (he catches it, but it’s out of pure luck and entirely ungraceful), and pulls Hyunjin by the hand towards the elevator. “You fall asleep in weird places all the time,” Jisung explains, pressing the appropriate buttons in the elevator, and resting his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder. He’s  _ warm.  _ “On the floor, under my desk, getting your hair and makeup done, in the bathroom…” Jisung trails off and sends Hyunjin a teasing smile. “I think I make fun of you equally for all of them.” Yeah, he does, Hyunjin thinks. If there’s one thing Jisung does especially well only to him, it’s teasing. Hyunjin doesn’t mind though – he’s too fond of Jisung to ever ask him to stop. 

****

The elevator stutters to a stop on Hyunjin’s floor, and Jisung pulls his door keys out of the side pocket of his backpack before Hyunjin can even unloop his arm from around Jisung's waist. “Sleepy, sleepy.” Jisung sing-songs, unlocking the door to Hyunjin’s apartment. He ushers Hyunjin in first, flicks on the lights as if it’s  _ him  _ who lives here, and kicks his shoes off by the door. “Go shower and get changed. I’ll stay to make sure you don’t fall asleep before you get washed up.” Jisung nudges Hyunjin towards his bedroom, flipping lights on along the way and ignoring Hyunjin’s protests. 

****

“I’m  _ fine _ , Sungie, you can go home. It’s late, and I know you’re tired.” Hyunjin attempts, but it’s no use. Jisung is pushing a clean towel into his arms, pulling Hyunjin’s coat off his shoulders, and setting his backpack on the floor. Hyunjin  _ knows _ that Jisung will go as far as shoving his naked ass into the shower if he must, and he’s really not feeling like revealing himself to Jisung tonight. 

****

“I’m staying here until you’ve drank something, taken your contacts out, and turned off your phone for the night, Jinnie. Don’t argue with me.” There’s the soft commanding tone that Jisung always uses to get his way with Hyunjin, and it works  _ every time. _ Hyunjin really should work on how easily swayed he is when it comes to Jisung. Oh, well. 

****

Hyunjin showers quickly to avoid falling asleep on his feet (Jisung was right about that, unfortunately), and finds Jisung in the kitchen by the stove when he comes back. He’s watching over the kettle on the stove while flicking through pictures (pictures of Hyunjin) on his phone, and he apparently doesn’t hear the bathroom door open and close again. Jisung's senses are oddly dull when he's tired, so he hardly ever hears Hyunjin coming when they're alone at night in his apartment. Jisung may not he able to hear his footsteps, but Hyunjin is surprised he can't hear his heart doing jumping jacks behind his ribs. But it’s not Hyunjin’s fault that his heart jumps in his chest at the sight of Jisung in his kitchen doing something as simple as making him a cup of tea. It’s  _ Jisung’s  _ fault for being so damn cute and considerate and  _ making  _ Hyunjin’s heart pound. This is  _ not  _ Hyunjin’s doing.

****

One may say that it’s also not Hyunjin’s doing when he makes his way closer to Jisung, stopping right behind him to run a hand through his wet (untangled!) hair in case it drips onto Jisung’s shirt. He’s going to hug him. He’s going to hug him and that’s final. Hyunjin is in the middle of raising his arms when the kettle squeals, causing Jisung to jump backwards and into him, which then prompts an equally high-pitched squeal from Jisung. Hyunjin can’t tell which is the kettle and which is Jisung, and now he’s  _ laughing _ , bent over with his hands on his knees, because he’s never heard such a terrible sound come out of Jisung. 

****

“Hyunjin! Why are you  _ loitering _ !” Jisung exclaims, hand over his chest, looking absolutely scandalized. Hyunjin swears he’s a middle-aged mom. He lives in a two-story house in a subdivision with 2.5 kids, a golden retriever named Daisy or something, and an average-looking husband who works at a bank. That’s the energy Jisung is giving him right now:  _ startled-mom-energy _ . 

****

“ _ Loitering _ ?” Hyunjin can’t help the ugly laugh that escapes him. Jisung is  _ unbelievable.  _ “This is  _ my  _ house! I  _ live  _ here!” Hyunjin is bent over with laughter, hands around his waist to get ahold of the tightness in his lungs when Jisung’s face splits into a blinding smile. Somewhere during the whole exchange, Jisung had sense enough to move the kettle off the burner, and he attempts to collect himself as he pours Hyunjin and himself a cup of tea. Hyunjin pulls his sleeves down over his hands to protect them from the heat of the cup and takes it from Jisung, smiling graciously, and pulling him into his bedroom. 

****

“Why are we going in here?” Jisung questions but doesn’t stop following Hyunjin through the hallway and into his bedroom. He opens the door, flicks the lamp on, and invites Jisung inside. “It’s warmer in here. I hear it always gets a little cold in the rest of the apartment during the winter, so I keep my bedroom door shut to keep the warmth in,” Hyunjin sets his mug down on the nightstand and flops down on his bed, pulling Jisung down beside him and tossing him a pillow. 

****

“I’ve told the landlord about it, but they’re more concerned with drafty windows than with entire apartments not heating correctly, apparently. I guess I'll just  _ suffer _ .” Jisung scoffs, mumbles, “You should send them a strongly-worded email. That'll get the point across.” Hyunjin just shakes his head, grabs the throw blanket from the end of the bed and waits for Jisung to shimmy into a comfortable position before he covers them both with it. Hyunjin turns onto his side, pulls the blanket up to his chin, and eyes Jisung closely.

****

“Hey,” Hyunjin mumbles, scooting closer to Jisung’s side. He’s laying on his back, offering up plenty of free real estate in the chest area that Hyunjin is unashamedly eyeing. He wants to  _ cuddle him _ , dammit. Jisung glances over at him, eyes running softly over his features. 

****

“Hey, you.” As often as Jisung looks at him you’d think Hyunjin would be very used to having his eyes focused on him, but he still isn’t. He still isn’t used to the way Jisung looks at him like he wants to study him, like he could look into his eyes for hours, days, years, and still find new speckles of color, new imperfections, new perfections. Hyunjin doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the way Jisung looks at him, but it’s different now. It’s lingering, traces of something just under the surface, like Jisung is making a conscious decision to  _ not  _ look at something, to not think about something. He might as well ask.

****

“What are you thinking about?” Hyunjin asks, voice barely above a whisper. Jisung’s eyes catch on his lips when he speaks and he turns over onto his side, head propped up against his palm. “Can I ask you something?” Jisung questions, but he sounds unsure. Nervous.  _ Vulnerable _ . 

****

“Yeah, of course.” Hyunjin shifts to see him better, props himself up the same way, and watches as Jisung’s eyes land again on his lips. He’s thinking too hard. 

****

“Can I…” Jisung trails off, his voice losing momentum. Instead of asking, he brings his hand up between them, runs a finger up and down Hyunjin’s arm, and Hyunjin can hear his question loud and clear through this one tentative motion, and it makes him smile. 

****

_ Can I kiss you?  _

****

“Yeah,” Hyunjin whispers between them, eyes following the movement of Jisung’s fingers against his clothed arm, up and down and up again before it comes to rest on his shoulder. Jisung furrows his brows, question poised on his lips, but Hyunjin beats him to it.

****

“Yeah, you can kiss me.” 

****

Jisung flinches just the slightest bit, and Hyunjin feels nerves pulse under his skin, thinks that maybe that’s not what he was going to ask. Maybe he was going to ask how his day was, or what he thought about the shoot, or if he can stay the night, sleep on the couch, he –

****

He  _ smiles _ . 

****

Jisung smiles and it’s all the confirmation Hyunjin needs. There's roughly three different expressions that pass over Jisung's face, and they're all synonymous with  _ joy.  _ He moves his hand, lifts himself up to hover just slightly above Hyunjin, and rests his elbow next to his head. Hyunjin is going to  _ burst.  _

****

“You know me too well.” Jisung says, but Hyunjin  _ feels  _ his words on his lips, barely a breath away, a thin sheet of glass separating two beams of light, and Hyunjin has to stop himself from lunging forward to capture Jisung’s lips in his own. 

****

_But_ _he doesn’t have to stop_. 

****

Jisung’s eyes slip shut and Hyunjin watches because Jisung is always the one watching him, so it’s only fair. Jisung laces their fingers together beside Hyunjin’s head and connects their lips before Hyunjin has a chance to breathe in. They’re still for a moment, lips pressed together, as Hyunjin lets his eyes drift shut, feels his eyelashes brush over Jisung's cheeks. His lips are soft and firm, and Hyunjin has a passing thought that maybe Jisung is afraid to move, so Hyunjin makes the first move, letting his lips slide against Jisung’s. 

****

It’s gentle, warm,  _ soft _ , and everything Hyunjin expected kissing Jisung to feel like. There’s no fireworks, no sparks of light behind his eyelids, but there is a certain laziness to it – in the way they move with each other, exhausted bodies close, lips closer, hands intertwined. Hyunjin doesn’t register any feeling other than Jisung’s lips until his free hand comes up to cup his cheek, his chest dropping to lay against Hyunjin’s underneath him and then he suddenly feels  _ everything _ : Jisung's thudding heartbeat, the way his breath speeds up when Hyunjin drags his tongue over the seam of his lips, his hip bones pressing into his stomach. Hyunjin hadn't noticed his hand not occupied by Jisung's drifting south to rest on his waist, fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt, feeling the warm expanse of bare skin beneath it. He's  _ soft,  _ and Hyunjin has no idea why that surprises him because, of  _ course _ Jisung's body would be just as soft as the rest of him. 

****

Jisung's grip has loosened on his hand, and it slides downwards to make small circles against the curve of his wrist, fingers light. His thumb is tracing the curl of Hyunjin's eyelashes the same way it always does and it’s so heart wrenchingly familiar that Hyunjin finds himself holding back a groan of pure affection in the back of his throat. He has a passing thought that Jisung can probably feel his heart beating against his chest, but it’s gone as soon as it comes when Jisung’s tongue swipes over his bottom lip and Hyunjin opens up for him. 

****

Hyunjin is busy trying to locate his left hand and navigate Jisung’s mouth with his tongue when there’s a loud crash on the other side of his head that has Jisung pulling away from him immediately. Hyunjin nearly bites his tongue out of surprise. “Oh, damn. The mug.” Jisung mumbles, voice sounding audibly lower than it did ten minutes ago. Interesting. 

****

Hyunjin just laughs because, yes, oh, damn, the mug, but he also couldn’t care less about the mug right now. Jisung looks down at Hyunjin, meets him halfway, and leaves a small peck at the corner of his mouth, whispers, “I’ll get you another one,” and goes back to kissing him. Hyunjin can feel the smile on his lips, and he’s sure that there’s a similar one against Jisung’s lips, as well. He can’t stop smiling.

****

He’ll probably never stop smiling again, and that's perfectly fine.

****

—

****

It takes Hyunjin three whole days to figure what he wants to do after the kiss. Does he want to ignore it and go back to pining over Jisung? Absolutely not. Does he want to acknowledge it and ask Jisung where they stand? Yes, but how does he do that? Does he ask him out on a date? Like, a real date, an actual  _ date  _ date with flowers and shy kisses and all the works. Yes, that sounds like the best plan. The problem now is that Hyunjin has no idea what he's doing or how he's supposed to execute this plan. He needs advice, but he can't go to his teammates and ask how to ask his other teammate out on a date. He just  _ can't.  _ Minho would never let him exist peacefully again. 

****

The only logical thing for Hyunjin to do is to call his two best friends, Seungmin and Felix, and get their take on the situation. He texts their group chat first, asks if their both free to facetime, and waits impatiently for an answer. Felix opens the chat first:

****

**felix:** **everything okay? is it an emergency?**

**hyunjin:** **no i'm fine! just need some advice on something..**

**seungmin:** **oof**

**seungmin:** **gimme a second i just got home**

****

Hyunjin huffs and lays back on his bed, sprawled out over the comforter. He sets his phone on his chest and listens to the clock on the wall as it ticks away the seconds for two minutes before his phone vibrates with an incoming facetime call. 

****

"Hyunjinnie!" Felix sounds excited, and it makes Hyunjin feel a little bad. He should really call them more often. "Hi, Felix. Seungmin, where are you?" The third frame in the call is empty except for a white ceiling, but Hyunjin can hear a faint shuffling in the background. "I'm here! I'm getting something to drink. What's up?" Hyunjin sits up, pushes his bangs out of his face, and sighs. 

****

"Do you guys remember the makeup artist I told you about? Jisung?" Hyunjin mentions Jisung all the time over text, but the only time his friends have heard him speak about Jisung was when he first accepted the job and was gushing about his team. Seungmin had picked on him for being so fond already. "Yeah!" Felix responds. He's munching on a bowl of popcorn, and it's distracting Hyunjin from the task at hand. Anyway, "Yeah, I remember. Is he okay?" Seungmin sounds far away and concerned and Hyunjin's heart hurts a little bit. He really should call his friends more often. 

****

"Yeah, he's great. We've just–" Hyunjin cuts himself off with a sigh, runs his hand through his hair again. "We've gotten closer over the past few months. I think…" Hyunjin lets his voice fade out, choosing his next words. Saying it out loud makes it _so_ _real._

****

"I think I like him. Like,  _ really  _ like him." Felix and Seungmin are silent for a moment until Felix bursts out laughing and Seungmin suddenly appears in the frame. " _ What,"  _ It doesn't sound like a question, but Seungmin definitely enunciates the word. "You–" he cards his hands through his brown hair before he picks his phone up to eye-level, brings it close to his face. "You're so  _ stupid _ , Hyunjin. Seriously, you're one of the smartest people I know, but,  _ goddamn _ , you're an  _ idiot _ ." Felix is still laughing, practically rolling at this point, and Hyunjin doesn't get it. 

****

"What?" he questions, hoping it'll make Felix actually  _ say something.  _ "Jinnie, you– we–" But Felix just snorts out a laugh and goes back to rolling around on his couch. Hyunjin can hear his mom questioning him in the background, but he does nothing to answer her. "We  _ know _ , Jinnie. You're so obvious, I honestly have no idea how you didn't catch onto yourself." Seungmin explains. Hyunjin groans. "Everyone keeps saying that! They keep saying that I'm oblivious and that Jisung's obvious, and now you're saying that  _ I'm  _ obvious, and I don't know  _ what to think anymore."  _

****

Felix is obviously trying very hard not to laugh and it's doing nothing to help Hyunjin's situation. Seungmin sighs, but not in the slightly disappointed way that he normally does. No, this is too affectionate to be disappointed, and Hyunjin is going to lose his mind if Felix snorts one more time.

****

"Anyway!" Hyunjin exclaims, hoping it'll get their attention. It does, along with Felix's mom, who pops her head into the frame to look down at her son's phone. Felix tilts the screen up so she can see Hyunjin and Seungmin. "Say hi guys." Hyunjin and Seungmin both give small waves and smile. "Hi, Mrs. Lee. I just saw you." Seungmin grins and, ah, yes, that's why parents always fall for him first: that stupid little grin. Mrs. Lee literally coos and Hyunjin has to stop himself from gagging. 

****

"Hi, boys. How are you, Hyunjin? Doing well, I assume?" Felix's mother has always been fond of both of them, and her voice is still full of that same fondness as she directs her attention to Hyunjin's frame on the screen. "I'm great! Work is great and I love everyone on my team. Thank you for asking." Mrs. Lee smiles. "Of course, dear. You let us know if you need anything, yes?" Hyunjin nods and hears Seungmin sigh again. He's going to kick his ass. 

****

"Sure, sure. Thank you again." Seungmin is rolling his eyes again and Hyunjin wonders if he knows that's exactly how he feels when Seungmin puts on his fake-angel persona in front of adults. He has to know. He  _ has  _ to. 

****

"Back to the matter at hand: Hyunjin wants a boyfriend and has found a worthy candidate." Felix speaks up as soon as his mom leaves, suddenly serious. Hyunjin scoffs, but realizes that he isn't exactly wrong, per se. "Sort of. Yes," He runs his hand through his hair once again and leans back against the wall. He wants to  _ scream.  _ "I just need some help getting there. I wanna ask him out, but I've never actually asked someone out before, so I'm not sure how to do it. Any ideas?" Felix laughs again, but it's short this time, like he's coughing. " _ Plenty  _ of ideas, Hyunjinnie."

"What do you need us to do? Make you look hot?" Seungmin intervenes. 

****

"No, he sees me look hot everyday. He  _ makes me  _ look hot everyday. My hotness has no effect on him anymore." 

****

"Shit, so we're relying on personality? That changes things." 

****

"Seungmin, I'm going to wring your neck the next time I'm home. Sleep with one eye open." 

****

"Ah, how I've missed your empty threats on my life, Jinnie." 

****

"This only happens when I talk to you! I never threaten people." Felix clears his throat the moment Hyunjin is finished speaking. "Are you two finished?" Seungmin huffs out a laugh and Hyunjin rolls his eyes again. He's had a change of heart: he should call  _ Felix  _ more often. 

****

"So, you need to ask him on a date, Jinnie. Are you just worried or do you not know how to ask him?" Felix has always been the understanding one. He's loud and rambunctious most of the time, but he's always willing to help someone or give advice, and Hyunjin is just as grateful for his calm voice now than he ever has been. "Yeah. I just don't know how to do it." Felix flips over onto his stomach and positions the phone to lean up against a pillow. "That's easy. You just ask him to go get dinner with you or something and then you kiss him. Anything is a date if you kiss when it's over." Hyunjin groans. Maybe he shouldn't have consulted his two friends who have never been on a date before. He turns his attention to Seungmin. "Seungmin? Any input before I hang up and ask someone else?" 

****

Seungmin holds his chin in his hand, pretends to think, and Hyunjin  _ knows  _ something offensive is about to come out of his mouth. “Nevermind! I’ve been degraded enough for one conversation. I’ll ask Chan and Minho tomorrow.” Seungmin whines and Hyunjin can feel an insult sitting on his tongue. No, this is how Seungmin expresses his affection towards them, but it’s not in Hyunjin’s nature to be blatantly hateful towards someone, no matter how emotionally constipated he is. Unfortunately, he’s so emotionally constipated at the moment that he could probably shit a brick and still not feel better. Hyunjin snorts at his own thoughts and turns his attention back to his friends. 

“I’m gonna go clean up a little bit before Jisung gets here. I’ll talk to you guys later.” 

****

“Wait, he’s coming over? Hyunjin, you’re –”

****

“ _ Fucking oblivious. _ ” 

****

Hyunjin loves his friends, really. 

****

**_— December 17th_ **

****

Woojin sent out a text to the group chat earlier this morning telling everyone to meet in his office for lunch, and Hyunjin is  _ stressed _ . First of all, Woojin’s office is just a scary place and Hyunjin doesn’t want to be there for too long. It's all color-coded files, sturdy cabinets, and pristine carpets and Hyunjin can think of literally nothing scarier. What if he gets food on the sofa? That would be a fabric stain nightmare coming to life right before his eyes. 

****

Second of all, Woojin only calls them all into his office when he has bad news. Since they haven’t done any shoots since Jisung’s portfolio, they’ve all had plenty of time to think about what this team meeting could be about. Chan and Minho have been occupied with other things – leading their departments and keeping Hyunjin and Jisung calm, to name a couple – but have still assured the two of them that if it was  _ truly  _ bad, Woojin would've told them about it first before bringing them into it. 

****

Hyunjin is still stressed, and Jisung obviously is too. There's a Christmas shoot coming up next week titled "Candy Red" that Jisung has to practice for, and Hyunjin can tell by the way he's moving his eyeshadow brushes that he's stressed. It's only 10:30AM and Jisung has jabbed him in the eye  _ twice _ . 

****

"Jisung," Hyunjin mumbles, opening his eyes when Jisung turns back to his palettes. Everything is red in this shoot – different shades ranging from dull pink to a bright, abrasive orange, all mingling to look like an aisle of Christmas candy vomited right on Hyunjin – so Jisung had to fish out a palette he hardly ever uses and relearn how to use red eyeshadows. He's been unintentionally rough today, almost smearing the eyeshadow onto Hyunjin's eyelids, and has been apologising for it constantly. 

****

"Sorry," Jisung says absently, his back turned to Hyunjin. "No, don't apologize. I was just going to ask if you're okay," Jisung turns back around, palette in hand, and looks down at the shadows before looking up at Hyunjin. "I–I mean, you're obviously  _ not  _ okay, is what I'm saying. You're stressed and I can tell, but not just because you're slapping makeup on my face today." Jisung averts his gaze, coats his brush in a shimmering orange shade without his usual enthusiasm and whispers, "I'm sorry." 

****

"No, you–" Hyunjin cuts himself off and reaches for Jisung's wrists. Jisung lets himself be pulled forward in his rolling chair, but doesn't meet Hyunjin's eyes. He sighs, turns to place the palette and brush back on the vanity, and settles his hands against Hyunjin's, making little circles with his thumbs. 

****

"Tell me what's bothering you. Please?" Hyunjin pleads with him, laces their fingers together and squeezes Jisung's hands lightly. For some reason his hands always feel smaller when he's stressed – like Jisung has succeeded in falling into himself, and has become smaller because of it somehow. Jisung sighs and finally looks up, but focuses his gaze on the gold necklace resting on Hyunjin's collarbones. His eyes blur in and out of focus when he looks too hard at something while wearing his glasses, and Hyunjin always notices. He taps his fingers against the back of Jisung's hand, asks him silently to come back to him – back to the present moment. 

****

"I have a feeling it's about my portfolio. I just can't tell if it's good or bad. Usually, with Woojin, I can tell if he's hiding something to make me feel better. I can't tell now, though, and it's frustrating me." Jisung has a habit of speaking with his mouth just barely open when he's tired or too focused to really talk. To anyone else, it would look like he's pouting, but Hyunjin knows he's carefully deciding his next words and whether or not he's going to speak at all. After a few moments of silence, Hyunjin takes a deep breath and decides to distract Jisung instead of entertaining his anxieties by making him talk about them. 

****

"How did you and Woojin get so close, hm? You two talk about each other like you're brothers." Hyunjin questions. He swings their linked hands back and forth and little bit and Jisung's eyes refocus at some point on his face. "Woojinnie was the one who hired me. I'm not from here – I moved to Seattle from Michigan by myself about three years ago for school, and decided to stay since I had a better chance of getting a job as a makeup artist here. No companies were willing to take a chance on a kid with no job experience though. Richard didn't even look at my application – didn't show up to my interview, either," Jisung laughs, and it's not the fake laugh that usually comes when he talks about Richard. It's short, but genuine. 

****

"I didn't realize until a few months ago that Woojin is above Richard in the company. He just doesn't seem intense enough to be someone's boss, ya know?" Jisung glances up at Hyunjin for a reaction and waits until he nods to continue. "Woojin hired me, and then made it his mission to protect me from all the politics in the industry. It worked for awhile, but I think that's because I wasn't assigned to any specific models. I was floating back and forth between projects, assisting the senior makeup artists, and helping Woojin when I could. I enjoyed it, but I like it a lot better now that I'm assigned to a model indefinitely." Jisung's smile is  _ gooey _ and Hyunjin nearly lets go of his hands just to pinch his cheeks. 

****

Before he has a chance to get his hands on Jisung's cheeks, someone's phone dings from the other side of the room. Hyunjin hasn't had his ringer in since at least 2015, so it must be Jisung's. 

****

"It's Woojin," Jisung says, hand on his hip, phone in his other hand. "He wants us to come to his office. Do you wanna wipe that off since I only finished one eye?" Jisung gestures in a circle around Hyunjin's face, already handing him the makeup wipes. "Oh, now you trust me to do it myself?" Hyunjin jokes, hoping it'll take some of the weariness from Jisung's expression. "I doubt you can manage to get glue in your eyes when there's none on your face." Hyunjin catches the grin curling up Jisung's lips and smiles.  _ Got him.  _

****

There's a voice coming from inside Woojin's office that neither Hyunjin nor Jisung recognizes. It's light, a little high pitched, and definitely male, but the owner of said voice is probably younger than Hyunjin. Jisung presses his ear against the outside wall, listens closely to the voices inside the office. Hyunjin watches him close his eyes and purse his lips in concentration and nearly laughs. Jisung pulls back with a huff when the voices become too quiet to hear through the thick wall. 

****

"All I caught was Chan saying 'they'll be here soon,' and the new person said he's excited," Jisung pauses, thinking, and snaps his fingers when he reaches a conclusion. "His voice sounds the way yours does after you've spoken to your mother in Korean for a long time! It's accented the same way yours is when you're tired." So, this new person is Korean is what Jisung is saying. In the round-about way that he tends to say things, that is. 

****

Before Hyunjin has a chance to pout and remind Jisung that he's  _ constantly  _ correcting his English accent because it's far from perfect, Woojin opens the door and startles at the sight of them. "Oh! Why are you two just standing out here?" Jisung smiles and it's a little awkward and a little like he's a kid who's been caught with a cookie in his mouth before dinner: wide and knowing he did something wrong. "Nothing! We were about to knock! Come, come, Hyunjinnie." Ah, the  _ nickname.  _ It always gets him. Hyunjin is too easy, but that's a topic for another internal monologue. 

****

Inside Woojin's office, Chan and Minho are leaning against each other on the leather sofa situated in front of his desk, looking over a file between them. In the smaller chair beside them is a boy Hyunjin has never seen before. He looks nervous, and he's sinking into himself almost – his hands are tucked underneath his thighs, and his shoulders are pulled up to his ears. His eyes are wide and curious, but he looks focused on something between Chan and Minho. He looks up when the door clicks shut and Hyunjin sees his eyes widen when he looks at Jisung. Hyunjin can't blame him – he probably had the same expression when he saw the makeup artist for the first time. He has that awe-striking effect on people. 

****

"Hyunjin, Jisung," Woojin motions for them to sit in the other two chairs on the other side of his desk. Thankfully, Woojin has the largest office out of all of them, so he can comfortably house all six of them and their overgrown limbs. "Please, sit. I want to introduce you to Jeongin," Hyunjin puts the name to the clear skin and bright eyes and, yes, this boy is  _ young.  _ Maybe not as young as he anticipated, but certainly still a minor. A  _ baby.  _

****

"Hi, Jeongin! I'm Jisung. I'm a makeup artist here." Jisung's mood always shifts when he meets new people. It's not the Business Mode that Hyunjin saw when he addressed Seulgi; it's more personable, like Jisung is trying to calm the other person's nerves, as well as his own. Jeongin reaches out a small hand to shake Jisung's, and Hyunjin thinks he sees his eyes cast downward the way they do when he's about to coo. Maybe he is a professional after all. 

****

Jeongin looks to Hyunjin next, expectant, and Hyunjin smiles softly. "I'm Hyunjin. I'm a model here, but Woojin, Chan, Minho, and Jisung are in charge of me. It's really strenuous work." That gets a giggle out of Jeongin and earns Hyunjin a smack on the shoulder from Minho. "It's not our fault you need supervision." Minho grins over his shoulder, and goes back to poking at Chan. Jeongin smiles and Hyunjin is immediately endeared because he has  _ braces.  _ This time, Jisung  _ does  _ coo, and nearly jumps out of his chair, too. Woojin sets a hand on his shoulder, and Jisung immediately deflates, like Woojin's touch took all the energy out of him. Maybe it did. 

****

"Jeongin is our new model here. He'll be working with our team until he's assigned one of his own, so, until then, I want you to make him feel welcome. Don't harass him like you did the new light guy." Woojin explains. Hyunjin nods but grins right after, remembering the antics he and Jisung got up to with the lighting guy. 

****

"Frank deserved it." Jisung states, referring to said lighting guy. Frank was very rude to all the younger employees, claiming that none of them knew what they were doing. It was becoming a recurring theme in the company, and Jisung was fed up enough to ruin Frank's day multiple days in a row. 

****

"You froze his lunch, Jisung," Woojin deadpans. Jisung is gearing up with a snarky response, Hyunjin can tell, but Chan interrupts him. "And made the sprinklers go off in only  _ his  _ office somehow," Again, Jisung opens his mouth and lifts a finger to point at Chan, but they're making their way around the room now. Minho is up next: " _ And _ you hid every pen, marker, and pencil in his office and replaced them with celery. I don't want to know how you got that idea, but please, never do anything like that to me." Minho pleads with his eyes, but there's little effort in his voice. Hyunjin is hiding a laugh behind his hand as he looks over to where Jeongin is sitting, dumbfounded. 

****

"Don't be scared," he reassures. Attempts to _ ,  _ anyway. "Jisungie only pulls pranks on the people he doesn't like. And  _ usually  _ Minho helps him, but this was special circumstance," Hyunjin ruffles Minho's hair, waits for the exaggerated huff he sends towards his bangs to blow them back in place, and continues. "I don't think you'll have anything to worry about, Jeongin." Hyunjin looks over his shoulder at Jisung, who stood up sometime during their conversation, and is standing now with his hands leaning against the back of Hyunjin's chair. He nods, and Jisung smiles over at Jeongin. 

****

"Oh, Jisung. While I have you here, I want to give you this." Woojin opens a drawer in his desk and shuffles through a couple things before he pulls out two small pieces of paper and hands them over to Jisung. "What are…" Jisung trails off, eyes scanning over the papers. "I don't need coupons to IKEA? You should keep these for someone who can use them–" Woojin's eyes crinkle, and Chan and Minho stop whatever they're doing to turn and look at Jisung. "You'll need them soon, Sungie. You have to buy office furniture." 

****

Jisung just blinks at the three of them, looks over their excited smiles carefully, before turning to look at Hyunjin. Blinks. Looks at the coupon. Blinks again. 

****

"What do… I… need?" Jisung is smart, frighteningly so at times, but he has one flaw that is always a little too present to Hyunjin: he's oblivious to things until they're made clear to him. Minho would argue that Hyunjin is the same way, but he begs to differ. He can hear Minho's voice in his head saying, " _ Then beg."  _ That's a place Hyunjin's brain absolutely refuses to go. 

****

"Well, you need a desk and chair. Probably a lamp. Maybe a plant or two to keep you sane and for Hyunjin to overwater–" 

****

"Hey!" 

****

"Get some desk organizers, too. They'll help you keep things straight until you get a feel for where you want everything." Chan chimes in, excited smile still as bright as it was two minutes ago. Jisung looks like a fish in shallow water – his shoulders are slumped forward and his eyes are blinking a little too quickly down at the coupons. Hyunjin is about to take them from his hands because they can't be  _ that  _ good, and he's going to  _ crumple them,  _ but –

****

"Wait.  _ My  _ office? My– _ mine?"  _

****

"Yes!" The word exits everyone's mouth at the same time and Jisung flinches back just the slightest bit. Hyunjin reaches behind the chair and pulls him forward by his hips, resting his chin on his stomach right below his arms. Jisung looks down at him over the coupons.  _ Mine?  _ he mouths, pointing to himself. Hyunjin nods, digging his chin into the soft skin above Jisung's belly button. It seems to hit him then, that he has his own office now, and his eyes suddenly well with tears, his chin trembling just the slightest bit. He hands the coupons over to Hyunjin, brushes a finger under his eye in an off-handed affectionate gesture (Hyunjin's stomach jumps at the normalcy of it,  _ god _ ), and takes two big steps over to pull Woojin up and into a hug. Woojin wraps Jisung in an embrace, hand immediately smoothing up and down his back as Jisung pushes his nose into Woojin's neck. 

****

"Th–hank you. Thank you, thank you,  _ thank you. _ " 

****

Woojin holds Jisung at an arms-length and wipes his tears away with light hands before he turns him around and releases him to hug Chan and Minho. They all hug differently, Hyunjin has noticed. Woojin hugs him like a brother. Chan hugs him like a proud mentor. Minho hugs him like a friend. But there's one similarity between them all: they've all come to find out that Jisung responds better to touch than he does to words. Jisung is very good at articulating his own feelings, but he can  _ feel _ others better than he can read them. He chooses to feel other people. 

****

Chan circles his arms around Jisung's shoulders. Minho hugs him around the waist. Somewhere in between all the hugs, Hyunjin catches Jeongin's eyes, watches as he looks on with a smile taking over his youthful face. He'll fit in just fine with the rest of their team, Hyunjin is certain. 

****

Jisung makes his way back to Hyunjin – he always makes his way back to Hyunjin. He pulls him up into a hug that's different from all the others, but in a way so subtle that anyone but Hyunjin himself would probably never notice it: Jisung doesn't let himself fall into Hyunjin's embrace. Instead, he initiates it, lets his hands find their place on Hyunjin's body, and holds tight. He hooks his chin over his shoulder, turns his head so his lips brush over Hyunjin's ear, and whispers, " _ Thank you _ " one last time. It's the same words he'd spoken to the others, but it's so different. 

****

Because it's him. It's  _ them _ . 

****

——

****

Jisung's phone buzzes over the car speakers that evening with a text from Woojin. Jisung glances down at his phone in Hyunjin's hands. "Will you read that for me?" he asks, eyes on the road. Hyunjin nods, fingers swiping over the phone's screen. 

****

"Woojin said, ' _ one more thing! you should be moved into your office before the holidays so you have time afterwards to get used to things. i know that kinda crunches you on time to get furniture, but you can do it!' _ " He sends a heart emoji back to Woojin, unplugs the aux cord, and sets Jisung's phone down in one of the cupholders. Jisung moves his hands around the wheel as he pulls into a parking spot below their apartment complex, eyes heavy and hair messy from the day. Hyunjin is already reaching around for his bag in the back seat when Jisung lays a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. 

****

"Tomorrow is Saturday, right?" he asks, eyebrows furrowed. Oh, he's actually asking. Hyunjin snickers. "Yeah, as far as I know," Jisung hums, slips his fingers under the sleeve of Hyunjin's shirt absentmindedly, tugging until Hyunjin is facing him again. 

****

"Would you maybe wanna go to IKEA with me tomorrow? To get furniture?" Jisung asks, and he sounds so  _ nervous,  _ Hyunjin just wants to hug him and never let go. "Only if you want to!" he backtracks, putting a little space between them over the center console of the car. Hyunjin feels heat rising at the back of his neck and stops himself from covering it with his hand, instead using his hands to stop Jisung from picking at his shirt sleeve. "I'd love to, Jisungie," Hyunjin pauses, waits for Jisung to meet his eyes, and continues when he does, the lights on the dashboard turning his eyes a fluorescent green. 

****

"We can get breakfast or lunch and go afterward. Make a whole date out of it." He's been meaning to test that word out on Jisung for some time, and now is as good a time as any. Jisung's eyes widen, his hand tightens in Hyunjin's, and then his face fades into the most serene smile. The yellow lights scattered around the parking lot do no justice to the light Jisung produces when he smiles – no justice at all. 

****

"Yeah, I'd – I'd like that a lot." Hyunjin just watches him for a few seconds – watches the pale lights dance in his eyes, watches the way the green lights on the dashboard catch on his skin, at the ends of his hair, and he's struck with such a deep affection that it has him sucking in a breath, blinking away a daze he didn't realize had settled over his body. 

****

"Breakfast? That way we have more time for me to be indecisive about office furniture." The laughs that pass between them are  _ soft _ , and Hyunjin would think they came from the radio if he didn't know better. But he does know better – knows that Jisung is just soft in everything he does, laughing included. He knows that it's late and he should let Jisung go home, go to bed, talk about this in the morning. But they're here right now in his car, and the green dash lights feel like they could stay on all night as long as they keep talking, keep breathing the same air, keep  _ existing  _ in this space together. It's profound, and if anyone but Hyunjin ever heard his own thoughts, he'd never forgive himself. 

****

"Yeah, let's do breakfast. Breakfast sounds good." 

****

Jisung smiles and it feels like it could go on  _ forever.  _ But forever is a long word and dark clouds are hanging low in the sky, telling Hyunjin it's time to stop thinking so hard about something so simple. 

****

"I'll meet you at 9:00."

****

"9:00 it is."

****

**_— December 18th_ **

****

Hyunjin wakes to a persistent rapping noise somewhere outside of his bedroom, and tries with all his might to will it away. If he doesn't acknowledge it, it'll go away. That's how these things work. Two minutes later, pillow pressed over his face, legs tangled in his sheets, Hyunjin hears the front door opening, and doesn't even bother to spring into action. Plenty of people know he keeps a spare key under the flap on the corner of the doormat outside, so it could really be pretty much any of his close friends. Jisung is the only person who knows that Hyunjin moved the key to the bottom right corner though, so maybe–

****

_ Shit.  _

****

"Hyunjin, I know your door is open, but I'm knocking anyway. This is your chance to tell me if you're not decent." Jisung's bright voice rings through the apartment, and Hyunjin curls in on himself.  _ Fuck _ . He completely forgot to set an alarm for this morning. Hyunjin groans loudly, and is met with creaking footsteps getting closer to him. 

****

"Jinnie? You awake?" Jisung mumbles, and Hyunjin can picture exactly what he looks like: hunched over as if that will help him be quieter, the spare pair of house slippers Hyunjin keeps by the door on his feet, hands outstretched in front of him. He doesn't even need to  _ look _ and that's far too domestic a thought to be having this early on a Saturday. 

****

Hyunjin groans again, less muffled by the pillow this time, and kicks his feet free of the blankets. Jisung laughs somewhere nearby and pokes the pillow with a shy finger. Hyunjin feels the squishy material sink against his face right beside his nose. "You gonna get up? It's 9:15." 9:15? Well, now Hyunjin just feels guilty (and expresses it with a groan that hopefully sounds like  _ "I'm sorry.")  _

****

Jisung pulls the pillow away from his face with little fighting from Hyunjin, and smiles down at him. Hyunjin has to squint to look up at him as he stretches – he's so  _ bright.  _

****

"Good morning," Jisung muses, setting the pillow down at the foot of the bed. He sits down next to Hyunjin, one arm caged around his middle, the other brushing hair away from his puffy face. Hyunjin doesn't even have the energy to be embarrassed and push him away – it feels too nice, too soft.

****

"Did you sleep well?" Jisung asks, quietly. His voice sounds the way the sunlight pouring in through the curtains feels, and Hyunjin is half-inclined to pull him into his bed and propose they sleep all day. Jisung's fingers dance over his face, tucking wild pieces of hair behind his ears and away from his eyes. Hyunjin smiles something genuine and a little too fond, a weird warbling sound stuck at the back of his throat. "Yeah? Do you still wanna go to IKEA with me today? We can still do breakfast if you're ready by 10:00." Hyunjin nods against Jisung's palm, stretching his long limbs out again, waiting for his spine to crack the way it normally does. Jisung smiles and it still feels like sunshine. 

****

"How about I go make some coffee and you hop in the shower, hm?" Again, Hyunjin just nods, having not found his words yet. It's too early; the morning air is too soft for any voice except Jisung's to flow through it. He doesn't want to  _ interrupt the air _ . "Get to it then. I'll be in the kitchen." Jisung leans down to press a lingering kiss to Hyunjin's forehead, and it might be because he's still a little sleepy, still a little disoriented, but Hyunjin doesn't try to hide the blush rising in his cheeks. He watches Jisung go, and practically skips to the shower.  _ He's making me coffee _ , he thinks, far too excited about  _ coffee.  _ But, like. Coffee.  _ Jisung’s coffee.  _ Jisung doesn't even  _ like _ coffee (he's a tea drinker, and when Hyunjin found out he only drinks this special brand of tea called Vadham, he referred to him as "ma'am" for the following three days because he's  _ such  _ an old lady. Hyunjin keeps tea in his apartment now, and the smell of Jisung's favorite mint green tea brings a goofy smile to his face, but he'll never let Jisung see it.) but he's making it for Hyunjin. Does he even know how to make coffee? Surely he can figure out the Keurig. He's smart. Right? Right.

****

Hyunjin showers quickly, slightly panicked after thinking about how many ways Jisung could break his expensive coffee-maker, puts on sunscreen, passes the blow dryer over his hair a few times to style it a little, and dresses warmly for the day. It’s mid-December, but the air stays heavy with morning dew until at least noon, so Hyunjin decides against wearing his thicker coat. Jisung is wearing a button-down shirt, a cardigan, and a jean jacket and seems warm, so Hyunjin decides to go the same route and picks a big knit sweater out of his closet. He grabs a jacket on the way out just in case it's chillier than expected. 

****

In the kitchen, Jisung is sitting at the counter, two to-go cups of steaming coffee in front of him, scrolling aimlessly on his phone. The Keurig seems to be in good condition. Jisung smiles when he sees Hyunjin, and pushes the coffee in his direction. "Ready to go?" Jisung twirls his car keys around his finger and hops up from the stool, sliding his shoes back on. 

****

Hyunjin hums, popping the lid off his coffee to let it cool down a little bit. Jisung loops his arm through Hyunjin's and lays his keys and wallet down on his folded arms, smiling up at him. "Knew you'd forget them." He's right, and Hyunjin isn't even awake enough yet to tell him he's not. Not that he would be able to, anyway. 

****

Seven quiet minutes pass between the apartments and the little cafe that rests a couple blocks over called  _ Euphoria.  _ Every cafe and coffee shop Hyunjin has encountered since moving to Seattle has had a charming, but eclectic name, and he's begun to keep a list of them in his head:  _ My Side _ was the first he visited, the place where Richard bellowed "Do you wanna be a star?!" at him, landing him face-down-ass-up in the job of his dreams. He hasn't had time to go there recently, but he still remembers the content atmosphere and the warm caramel latte he'd ordered that day. 

****

_ Drift Away _ is another cafe just around the corner from Hyunjin's apartment, but Jisung often refers to it as, "the one with the blue lights that make it feel like a weird video game. Yeah, that one, Hyunjinnie." The blue lights are actually lanterns mounted on the wall that are covered with a pastel blue film of some kind. It does feel a little video game-esque, but there's a certain sereneness to the place that Hyunjin hasn't yet managed to find a word for. He's still searching for the way it makes him feel. 

****

_ Euphoria  _ is a cafe that Hyunjin has never been to before, but he can already tell he's going to love it just by looking at the exterior: it's a two-story wooden building that resembles a cottage more than a coffee shop. The building looks a little misplaced in the middle of the block of tall, straight, cement fixtures, but it seems to have made its peace with its surroundings. Flower baskets adorning the upper windows hang low, and a heavy door with a tinkling bell greets Hyunjin and Jisung as they enter the cafe. Immediately, Hyunjin registers that the scent of coffee isn't overbearing like it often is in cafes, but instead, it fuses together with something herbal, a hint of sweetness, and the spice of cinnamon. He can practically taste the air. 

****

"What looks good, hm?" Jisung asks, pulling him over to the glass case full of pastries and baked goods. His sweet tooth will be the death of Hyunjin. "Everything," he answers, and it's true – nothing in the case looks  _ bad _ , but a certain cherry tart is catching his eye more than anything else. Jisung glances over at him and smiles, points to the tart he's eyeing. "That one?" Hyunjin nods, and looks to the drink menu written delicately on a chalkboard behind the counter.  _ Euphoria's _ drink of the week is a strawberry smoothie with a "pinch of lemon and orange peel," and Hyunjin doesn't even bother looking at the rest of the menu when he sees it. 

****

Jisung orders for the both of them – he shushes Hyunjin's protests with a whispered, "You can get lunch, Jinnie. Promise." and a barely-there kiss pressed behind his ear. To say that does the trick is the understatement of the century. Hyunjin finds them a vacant table tucked away in the corner, but is distracted by a steep staircase before he can sit down. A sign sits in front of the stairs: 

****

**_Our upstairs is reserved as a quiet space to study, read, or to use simply to think in peace. Let an employee know if you'd like to use our quiet space. Contact us about quiet space rentals for parties, study tables, etc._ **

****

_ How nice.  _ Since it's still early, the cafe is fairly busy with people coming in and out for their morning coffee, hurrying back out to their cars, and starting their day. It's peaceful – the normalcy this place seems to radiate. Hyunjin looks up and around the cafe, sees high ceilings marked by wooden rafters, string lights looped around the beams, and ceiling fans spinning idly by. There's a tall metal shelf against the staircase to displays chocolates for sale, and Hyunjin makes a mental note to check them out before they leave. 

****

Jisung's polite voice makes its way to the end of the counter where food and drinks are delivered on a small wooden tray. Hyunjin catches him running his thumbs over the tray appreciatively. "What did you get?" he asks once Jisung takes a seat, unwrapping his own pastry and dunking the straw in his smoothie. It's  _ fantastic.  _ "A blueberry croissant and green tea. I feel like an old French lady." Hyunjin has to stop himself from telling Jisung that he is most definitely all of those things except for French. 

****

Jisung unwraps his own pastry and admires it for a moment before holding it out for Hyunjin to see. "It's too pretty to eat. Do you wanna try it first?" Jisung's right – the pastry  _ is  _ pretty, but not pretty enough for Hyunjin to discourage him from eating it. "Nooo, you eat it. It's pretty enough for  _ you  _ to eat." What that means, Hyunjin isn't entirely sure. His brain is still a little sleepy, lulled back into a rhythm akin to slumber by the gentle car ride here and the smell of cinnamon. Still, it makes Jisung blush prettily and bite into the croissant, and that's all that matters. 

****

——

****

IKEA is busy with shoppers pushing carts and people nudging past each other to complete their Christmas shopping. Tinkling holiday music plays over the speakers as Jisung pulls a cart from the rack and follows Hyunjin through the automatic doors. 

****

"I've never been here before. It's so  _ big. _ " Jisung marvels, taking in the displays of furniture and decorations. To their right is the little cafeteria all IKEA stores are equipped with, and Hyunjin has never really understood why. Do people spend so much time here that they forget to eat? 

****

"I don't even know where to look. Where are the office supplies?" Jisung's fingers are dancing around an ornamental wind chime, letting the bells clink together lightly. Hyunjin looks around for signs and points to one that reads  **OFFICE** in bold letters. "That way." 

****

Hyunjin walks a few steps behind Jisung, watches him try to take in everything about the gigantic store, and smiles to himself. He's so easily wowed. 

****

The stop at the first aisle of office supplies – desks, chairs, and other office furniture all on display in front of boxed sets. Jisung quickly plops himself down in a plush rolling chair, and gestures for Hyunjin to come to him. 

****

"What are my coupons for, Jinnie? I don't wanna pick something that we can't use them for." He pulls Hyunjin into the chair beside him, careful not to let it roll away, as Hyunjin digs the coupons out of his coat pocket. Jisung was too excited to hold them, he'd explained earlier. 

****

"Um," Hyunjin reads over the coupons, again a little shocked and curious as to how Woojin got his hands on such good coupons. "So, it's $75 off any wood-finished desk, and $50 off any IKEA brand office chair. There's also one for $30 off other assorted office supplies." Jisung whistles lowly, still just as shocked as Hyunjin. He didn't know stores even  _ made  _ these kind of coupons. 

****

"Alrighty. Wood-finished desk. Got it." Jisung hopped out of his chair and skipped over to the display of desks around the corner. Hyunjin took the cart in his hands, following him. He has a feeling he'll be doing a lot of following Jisung today. 

****

——

****

Hyunjin isn’t surprised to find out that Jisung is just as picky about office furniture as he is about everything else. He’s adamant about finding a desk that won’t disrupt his workspace, his creative flow, and  _ him _ as a person who moves quite frequently. He ends up choosing one of the simplest desks the store offers after making sure it aligns with the coupon. It’s not bulky like Woojin’s, or long and curved like Minho’s, but it feels distinctly like Jisung with the minimalistic storage cabinets underneath and the glossy white finish. Jisung had apparently been thinking about how he was going to design his office for months now, and knew exactly what he wanted it to look like – how the space would function around him, not how he would function around the space. 

****

The desk chair he chose surprised Hyunjin a little more. After some thorough complaining about desk chairs being so expensive, (“They’re just normal little chairs on wheels! They have no reason to be more than $25!”) Jisung kept coming back to the first one that had caught his eye. It was on the more expensive side, but Hyunjin watched Jisung glance back to it every time he looked at a different one, contemplating his choices. He sat in the chair for at least ten minutes, spinning and rolling around in it, tilting his head back, slouching his spine into nonexistence the way he did when he worked, and decided that the chair was The One. It was an odd rusty pink color with a curved seat and a cushion sewn into it. Overall, it suited what Jisung was going for. 

****

Jisung took his time picking out desk organizers, and ultimately settled for a white letter tray and a matching wall magazine rack, claiming that he didn't need any more than that for his portfolios at work. He also picked out two long cork boards to hang at the head of his desk against the wall, and a tall floor lamp to help save space on his desk. He really had thought this all out, Hyunjin marveled. 

****

Hyunjin has found himself doing a lot of that lately – marveling at Jisung, that is. It's not really anything new. In fact, it's such a natural reaction at this point that Hyunjin doesn't even stop to school his features when he catches himself openly staring at Jisung with wonder in his eyes. He likes to think that Jisung looks at him the same way, thinks of him the same way. Hyunjin is fairly certain he does. 

********  
  


**_– December 24th_ **

The next week is a cluster of Chan, Minho, Jeongin, and Woojin helping Hyunjin and Jisung move furniture back and forth between their two apartments and the company building, setting up said furniture, and what Chan affectionately calls “family meals” afterward. By the time Christmas actually rolls around, Hyunjin has visited the homes of every one of his team members at least twice, found out that Minho owns three cats whom he treats like his children, Jeongin still lives with his parents in a big house on the other side of town, Woojin has more plants than he can count, and discovered that Chan is a surprisingly good cook. (“I’ve been bringing you all food for  _ months _ , Hyunjin.  _ How  _ are you just now figuring out that I make it all?”)

****

By December 24th, Jisung’s office was completely set up, decorated, and organized with everything from his small desk in the corner of the shoot room. He still had quite a bit of extra space to the side for sketching and laying out makeup whenever he needed to, and the expensive office chair he chose proved to be ten times more comfortable than the old one he normally used. At the end of the day, Hyunjin looked over from where he sat with his back against the wall, exhausted from lugging furniture through the narrow hallways, and saw Jisung beaming as he gazed around his office, eyes wide and happy. It was all worth it. 

****

——

****

Hyunjin’s parents always go all out for big holidays, and Hyunjin would be lying if he said he disliked it completely. He enjoyed the festivities, the food, and his family being together, but not in the same way he did when he was younger. Now, he finds himself enjoying the solitude of coming home to his own apartment, toeing his shoes off to the sound of nothing but the fan blowing in the living room, and being able to breathe the familiar air of his own space.

****

Hyunjin loves his parents, loves that they still have a social life after he’s left to be on his own, but that’s their life. His life is here, in his undecorated apartment that somehow still smells like Jisung even when he isn’t here. His home is in a pair of chubby cheeks and bright eyes, a heart-shaped smile, and tender hands. 

****

When Hyunjin asked if Jisung wanted to come to his parent’s Christmas party with him, Jisung had politely declined, claiming that he had plans for tonight. Hyunjin knows him better than that, however, and he knows that Jisung is sitting curled up on his couch with his sketchbook and a cup of tea, and hasn’t moved all evening. He brought leftover food home for that very reason. With that thought in mind, Hyunjin changes quickly into his pajamas and walks to Jisung’s apartment just two floors away. 

****

Jisung meets him at the door, a cup of tea still in his hand, and Hyunjin smiles because  _ he was right.  _ He looks a little drained, his skin missing its usual luminosity, but, other than that, he just looks cuddly in his sweatpants and too-big hoodie that looks suspiciously like one Hyunjin owns. 

****

“Did you have fun?” Jisung asks, moving so Hyunjin can come inside. He just shrugs, setting the container of food on the counter in the kitchen. “I guess. A lot of my mom’s friends were there, so they asked me a bunch of questions about work. I don’t know why – mom shows them every photo she sees, anyway. Felix and Seungmin kept me entertained, though.” Hyunjin picks Jisung’s sketchbook up off the couch so they can both sit down, handing it carefully over to its owner. 

****

“Have you been working?” he asks, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch. Jisung nods, settles himself into Hyunjin’s side, and opens up his sketchbook across both their thighs. “I’m trying to come up with something for Jeongin for his first shoot. His face is a little weird, too. Kinda like yours, but not really,” The page Jisung turns to contains a rough outline of Jeongin face, a polaroid picture of the boy taped beside it for reference, and a couple swatches of warm colors. 

****

“I haven’t been able to draw his face accurately yet, so I’m sticking to outlines for now,” Jisung flicks the edge of the polaroid picture while Hyunjin traces the pencil lines on the paper. It’s definitely a rough outline, but the profile picture of Jeongin beside it gives away who it clearly is. Jisung got all of his features right, but his bone structure is still a bit too soft in the sketch. 

****

Jisung smooths his hand over the page before snapping the sketchbook closed and nestling further into Hyunjin’s side, forcing him to wrap his arms around his smaller frame. “Tell me more about the party. I’ve never been to a Christmas party before, I don’t know what they’re like.” Jisung hooks his ankle with Hyunjin’s, swings their feet back and forth gently while Hyunjin runs his hands through Jisung’s hair. 

****

“You’ve never been to a Christmas party before?” Jisung shakes his head, looks up at Hyunjin through his bangs. “My parents didn’t do that kind of stuff when I was little. We lived in the middle of nowhere, so our house wasn’t exactly in a central location. After my dad left, my mom didn’t really bother to keep up with her friends. Especially after my sister and I moved out.” Hyunjin holds his breath for a moment, tries to unpack everything Jisung just told him. He didn’t even know Jisung’s parents were divorced prior to this conversation; he’d speculated since Jisung only ever mentioned his mom, but he never asked directly. Redirecting the topic seems like the best idea, at this point. 

****

“You didn’t miss much. Parties like that are okay when you’re little, but when you’re older it’s just a bunch of people who’ve known you since you were born talking about how big you’ve gotten. I hadn’t seen half of those people since I graduated high school.” Jisung snorts out a laugh, leans his head further back into Hyunjin’s hand in his hair. “That’s rough. Seungmin and Felix were there though?” Hyunjin hums and Jisung must feel it rumble through his chest because he shifts a little bit and giggles like it’s a secret between his ears and his skin. 

****

“Yeah, their families were there, too. After we all suffered through the initial awkward questions about significant others and everything, we just hung out in my old bedroom,” Hyunjin pauses when Jisung hands him his empty tea cup, silently asking him to set it on the coffee table for him. 

****

“It’s weird, though. My old bedroom feels like some sort of shrine to who I used to be or something. My parents haven’t changed anything since I moved out. It’s like their mourning my absence.” Again, Jisung laughs easily as he tangles their fingers together now that their hands are free. Hyunjin takes a moment to run the pads of his thumbs over Jisung’s knuckles, and he contemplates kissing them, but decides against it. 

****

"They probably are," Jisung says, successfully bringing Hyunjin's attention back to him. "I know that I miss you when you're gone. I'm sure your parents miss you just as much." Hyunjin hums and allows his eyes to drift back down to their twisted fingers as the two lapse into silence. It's quiet for a few moments, and Hyunjin lets his mind wander into the realm of nothingness with only the low buzz of the heater the occupy the air around them. He could fall asleep like this, with his hands held softly in Jisung's, the two of them settled into each other's arms and into the warmth of the couch. 

****

It only happens once that Hyunjin notices, but Jisung's head slips from his shoulder to his chest as if he's nodding off. The slip is accompanied by a squeeze to his hand, and Hyunjin laughs low in his chest as he moves to make Jisung more comfortable. 

****

"Do you wanna go to bed?" Hyunjin asks, careful to keep his voice low. Jisung shakes his head, peeking his eyes open to peer up at Hyunjin. It's unbearably adorable, and Hyunjin is  _ so close  _ to kissing him already, and this is about to put him over the damn edge. 

****

"If I go to bed, you'll leave. I don' want you to leave." Jisung slurs. It's heavy, the way the sentiment weighs in Hyunjin's chest where Jisung spoke the words. If that's the case – "I'll stay if you want me to. I can take the couch." Jisung squeezes his hand again, pulling himself impossibly closer – close enough for his lips to brush over the fluttering pulse behind Hyunjin's ear, and he stops himself from sucking in a breath.

****

"Come with me," Jisung pauses, looks up to meet Hyunjin's eyes with the same type of all-encompassing tiredness that Hyunjin feels settle into his bones whenever he sets foot into Jisung's apartment. He could never say no. "Please?" Hyunjin feels his resolve crumble in his chest at one word muttered between them, and kisses Jisung's forehead with all the gentleness in his body. 

****

" _ Okay."  _

********  
  


—  **_December 25th_ **

****

Hyunjin startles awake from a kick to his shin. Automatically, he tries to reach down to cradle what is sure to be a purplish bruise by lunch time, but finds himself trapped beneath a body weighed down by sleep. Ah, yes. Jisung had insisted they share his bed. 

****

Speaking of Jisung, Hyunjin cranes his neck to see him resting his head on Hyunjin's shoulder, one arm wrapped loosely around his hips, the other curled to his chest between them. Hyunjin's own arm is supporting Jisung's head, but Hyunjin wouldn't know if he couldn't see it – there's absolutely no feeling in the appendage. Oh, well. As long as Jisung is sleeping comfortably, Hyunjin doesn’t care too much about the feeling in his fingers. 

****

Jisung grunts in his sleep and shifts again, but doesn't kick Hyunjin this time. Instead, he pulls Hyunjin closer to him – he's  _ strong  _ in his sleep, damn – and tucks his nose into the space between his neck and shoulder, breathing deeply. Hyunjin takes in the sight, bringing his numb hand up to card through Jisung's dark hair. His eyes flutter back and forth beneath his eyelids, his lips are slightly parted, and short breaths puff onto Hyunjin's skin, making him feel more ticklish than normal. It's peaceful – Jisung, the hazy sun hanging at the sill of the window, and the sleepy quiet that surrounds them. Hyunjin could stay here all day, he thinks. 

****

He won't, because that would mean not giving Jisung his gift, and Hyunjin is more excited about that than anything. It's already 8:35am, so if they want to eat breakfast before the " _ Merry Christmas!!!"  _ texts and phone calls come rolling in, they need to get moving. 

****

With this in mind, Hyunjin gives a light tug to Jisung’s roots, forcing his face up so he can whisper near his ear. “Hey, Sungie,” Jisung groans, squeezes his eyes shut tighter, and tries to hide his face in the warmth Hyunjin is so generously offering him. Hyunjin smiles. “It’s Christmas, Sungie.” he breathes, letting his lips drag over the shell of Jisung’s ear. It’s enough to get Jisung to open his eyes. “Merry Christmas,” Jisung mutters, his voice a little deeper than normal from sleep, as he rubs his eyes with balled fists. Hyunjin’s heart is in shambles. 

****

“Do you want breakfast first or your gift first?” Hyunjin asks, though he’s pretty sure he knows the answer. Jisung’s hand drops back down to his chest, his thumb making small circles over Hyunjin’s clothed ribs. “We said we weren’t going to get each other anything.” They  _ did  _ say that, but Hyunjin really couldn’t resist getting Jisung a gift. Just thinking about how happy he’d be caused too much joy to bloom in Hyunjin’s chest for him to  _ not  _ get him something. 

****

“It’s nothing big, in my opinion. Not physically, anyway.” Hyunjin counters, watching the way Jisung’s eyes narrow before he smacks him on the chest. “Fine!” After thoroughly assaulting Hyunjin’s pectorals, Jisung sits up with little grace, and leans over Hyunjin to reach into the drawer of his nightstand. “I got you something too, so now I don’t feel as bad.” What he pulls out is a small velvet box with a deep red bow tied around it. Hyunjin nearly squeals right then and there. 

****

“Jisung, we’re too young for marriage.” he jokes, hoping it’ll help him get ahold of his emotions. Of course he knows Jisung isn’t actually going to propose to him, but perhaps that’s a thought he’ll leave for future Hyunjin to ponder. Just the idea is absolutely wild to him. 

****

Jisung gives him another firm smack to the arm, but Hyunjin doesn’t miss the pretty pink blush coloring his cheeks. “I’m not proposing to you, dumbass. I just thought you’d like this.” He hands the box over to Hyunjin, the slightest bit of apprehension present in his dark eyes, and it’s then that Hyunjin notices the swell of his cheeks, his hair ruffled from sleep, his fingers quietly fidgeting in his lap. It feels like vulnerability, and Hyunjin feels something buzz through his veins that feels frighteningly similar. He and Jisung are here, together, bathed in the morning light of Jisung’s bed on Christmas morning, and yet they aren’t really together. How silly is that? 

****

_ So silly _ , Hyunjin thinks, pulling the bow so it unfurls around the little box. It’s so silly that Hyunjin can be this comfortable, this  _ vulnerable _ in front of Jisung in unknown territory, have his affections returned ten-fold, and still not confess his feelings for the boy in front of him. It’s silly that they can go on dates, kiss each other in places hidden from the sunlight, hold each other tightly in the quiet of the night, breathe in each other’s air and be able to  _ feel  _ the contentment settle in their lungs, but still they aren’t together. It’s positively  _ silly.  _

****

Lost in his thoughts, Hyunjin half-forgets the task at hand: opening Jisung’s gift to him. He pries the box open gently, being careful not to scratch the velvet, and nearly gasps when he sees what is inside. A gold chain necklace with a small red pendant dangling at the end sits before him, and Hyunjin has no idea what to think. He has no idea what to think because, one: it’s  _ beautiful _ , and he’ll wear it every day for the rest of his life simply because  _ Jisung Han himself gave it to him _ . 

Two: aforementioned Jisung Han just so happens to have the exact same necklace with a forest green pendant, and Hyunjin’s heart is about to burst very loudly and dramatically because they have  _ matching necklaces.  _

****

“Do you like it?” Jisungs asks quietly, his fingers still picking at his nails. Does he  _ like  _ it? Hyunjin wants to scream from how much pure, unadulterated  _ joy  _ is climbing up his throat, and there’s no way for him to express that with a simple,  _ yes, I love it _ , so he doesn’t try. He just smiles – that’s all he can do. That’s the only way Hyunjin knows how to express the happiness he’s feeling without words, and it must work, because Jisung beams at him, and reaches out a hand to take the box. 

****

“Do you want me to put it on you?” Jisung is barely able to get the question out before Hyunjin is nodding, turning around so Jisung can clasp the necklace around his neck. It feels a little cliche, a little bit like they’re in high school, and a little bit like they’re in love, but Hyunjin doesn’t mind any of those things. He can’t possibly mind when Jisung loops the necklace around him, drops the pendant silently between his collarbones, and presses a lingering kiss to his shoulder after he’s fastened the clasp. Hyunjin turns around to see Jisung with one hand at the small of Hyunjin’s back, the other reaching for his own necklace hidden beneath his thin t-shirt. 

****

“I always saw you looking at mine whenever I wore it. It took me awhile to remember where I got it from, but I thought the red suited you better,” Jisung looks down at the clasp at the back of Hyunjin’s neck, watches him as he turns so they’re face-to-face again. The blush is still present on Jisung’s cheeks, and Hyunjin wants to touch him there, to see if his skin is as warm as it looks. He brushes his thumb under Jisung’s eye, letting the touch linger just long enough for Jisung to lean into it, and for Hyunjin to take in the warmth of his skin. “I hope you like it.” 

****

_ I love it, _ Hyunjin thinks, but his mouth-to-brain filter must’ve shut off the moment he opened that little red box because what comes out is not what he intended to say, but no less true: 

****

“I love you.” 

****

Jisung’s eyes widen almost comically, and Hyunjin slaps a hand over his mouth, pulling away from Jisung as if he’s been burned.  _ Oh, no. _ Before he can retreat any further – fling himself off the bed, out the window, out the door,  _ anything _ , because he just told Jisung he loves him, oh,  _ god  _ – there’s a gentle pressure around his wrists, an even gentler tug forward, and Hyunjin realizes that Jisung is pulling him  _ back.  _ He isn’t pushing him away. He’s pulling him closer and closer until they’re practically in each other’s laps, and Jisung’s hands have found their way to Hyunjin’s shoulders, carefully, so carefully, steadying him, asking him silently not to run away. 

****

Hyunjin can’t bring himself to meet Jisung’s eyes, but too soon, he feels a finger hook under his chin and softly tilt it upwards so he can see nothing but deep, dark, devastatingly caring eyes, and Hyunjin feels like crying. He feels like crying because Jisung always has a way of looking at him that makes the tides calm in his head, that still the waves crashing against his heart, and he’d be content to let Jisung’s eyes drown him if it meant he could swim in them forever. 

****

“Did you mean that?” Jisung’s voice is quiet, so quiet between them that the air hardly fractures around them. Hyunjin hears a family cluttering around next door, tinny Christmas music is playing softly from the other side of the wall, but Jisung’s voice rings in his ears loud and clear:  _ did you mean that _ ? He wants to say yes –  _ yes _ , he meant it with every part of his being; his entire existence is irrevocably in love with Jisung, and there’s nothing he can do about the way he gravitates towards him like they’re two planets caught in the same orbit.

****

There’s nothing he can do. So, he nods. 

****

And Jisung is still gazing at him with an unfathomable amount of adoration in his eyes when he somehow smiles  _ brighter _ , leans closer, lets himself be caught in every ebb and flow of Hyunjin’s gravity. Jisung’s hands stroke over his cheeks with the same gentleness as always, and Hyunjin leans into him this time, knows he already so far past falling into Jisung that it’s hopeless to pull away. He closes his eyes and lets himself exist in this moment – this moment where Jisung knows that he’s in love, where he knows that his words are still floating in the open space, where Jisung’s fingers dancing on his skin are the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth. 

****

It’s not until Jisung rests his forehead against Hyunjin’s does he open his eyes and take in the moment for what it is in front of him: it’s Jisung – it’s always been Jisung. He smiling like he’s just wished upon a shooting star and seen his wish come true right before his eyes, and maybe he has. Maybe he wished for Hyunjin to fall. Maybe Hyunjin was the star. 

****

“Can I kiss you?” 

****

The words are so familiar that they ache, and Hyunjin feels Jisung's atmosphere drawing him closer. They’re nose-to-nose, breathing each other’s air, but Jisung pulls him further into himself when Hyunjin nods against him. Their lips touch, and Hyunjin thinks briefly that it feels different than the first time. Jisung is the same, Hyunjin is the same, but they’re both different. Now, Hyunjin is in love, and Jisung  _ knows it _ . 

****

It’s a short kiss – something so soft and warm that Hyunjin can feel it in his bones; he can feel it buzzing through his veins if he focuses enough on the way Jisung is pressed against him, his hands cradling Hyunjin’s face like he’s the first star he’s ever seen and he never wants to let go of something so lucky.

****

They part slowly, Hyunjin still clinging to the feeling of Jisung’s lips on his own, his breath coming in short puffs, and Jisung shivers as his thumbs go back to tracing the lines of Hyunjin’s face. Jisung just looks at him for a moment, going over his features the way he always does – looking for something that he can only find in Hyunjin. He finds it in his eyes, always – something so clear to both of them, but so clouded by whatever else was there. 

****

“I love you, too.” 

****

——

****

They don’t fall into it easily. 

****

Jisung and Hyunjin find that their lives blend together seamlessly because of their respective careers, but they, as humans, do not fall together as effortlessly. It’s like threading a needle, Hyunjin thinks, getting to know Jisung as someone other than a friend or coworker. Hyunjin has to relearn who Jisung is, and it’s frustrating at times. He misses the tiny head of the needle more than once and has to sharpen the thread again, determined to try until he gets things right. 

****

Everything happens gradually. 

****

They allow it to happen at their own pace, and it’s nearly seamless. Hyunjin feels himself falling for Jisung in snippets – like a slideshow playing behind closed eyelids in the dark of night, Jisung’s breathing quiet and soft against his shoulder, the sound of the city behind them. It’s moments like this that Hyunjin realizes they  _ are  _ making progress, that they  _ do  _ fit together. Maybe not seamlessly, not without troubles, certainly, but Hyunjin has managed to thread his needle. Learning to sew is an entirely new problem. 

****

——

****

Hyunjin begins to feel like everything is slowly falling into place when Jisung receives a promotion at work. He’d drove Hyunjin home once their day was over, kissed him goodbye, and explained that he had a meeting with Seulgi and the other directors. 

****

“What about?” Hyunjin had asked, his arms still holding Jisung firmly in place even as his boyfriend attempted to jump back into his car. “Not sure,” Jisung kissed him again, a short touch of lips. “All I know is that Chan, Minho, and Woojin are all going to be there. They’re either going to fire me in front of my team, or give me a promotion. I literally can not think of anything else in between,” Another kiss, probably to convince Hyunjin to let him go. 

****

“But I have to  _ go _ , Jinnie. They told me to be back by 5:00, and I’ve never been in a meeting with Seulgi before, so I wanna make a good impression.” Hyunjin leans in to kiss Jisung this time, just a small peck to his nose, and watches his face scrunch up afterwards. “Go, then. Let me know how it goes.” Jisung gives him one last squeeze, a whispered “ _ I love you, _ ” passing between them before Jisung is rushing back down the sidewalk to his car, leaving Hyunjin with a bundle of nerves and two hours to kill before his boyfriend returns. 

****

Jisung rushes into Hyunjin’s apartment before he bothers to step foot into his own, practically vibrating with excitement that Hyunjin can  _ feel  _ from the living room. He doesn’t even have time to greet Jisung before he’s  _ leaping  _ over the back of the couch, landing in Hyunjin’s lap with an exaggerated, “ _ Oof _ .” Jisung is waving a paper in front of Hyunjin’s face while he circles his arms around the flailing boy, trying to prevent him from falling off the couch in his haste. 

****

“They promoted me! They  _ fucking promoted me _ !” Jisung shouts, joyous and alive, and Hyunjin feels tears behind his eyes just from looking at the disbelief in his boyfriend’s eyes. “Can you believe it, Jinnie? They promoted me!” The thing is, Hyunjin  _ can  _ believe it. He smiles at Jisung, tells him just this, to which Jisung replies with an incredulous, “You  _ knew _ ?” Hyunjin takes a moment to collect Jisung more comfortably in his lap, explaining that  _ no _ , he had no idea, he just believes in Jisung more than anything - believes in his talent, his perseverance, his ability to strike anyone speechless with just a few words. Hyunjin has never believed in anything the way he believes in Jisung. 

****

——

****

By the time Jisung finally gets around to putting Hyunjin’s Christmas gift to use, it’s almost Spring. Hyunjin had gifted him with a $250 voucher to a tattoo parlor owned by Chan’s friend, Changbin, who ran the shop not too far from their apartment complex. Hyunjin had spent hours browsing through Changbin’s Instagram feed looking at pieces he’d done, drawings and random doodles he sometimes posted, and decided that Jisung would appreciate his dark but simplistic style. Changbin was more than happy to provide Hyunjin with the gift card, and recommended a standard rate that could be flexible for pretty much any small to medium-sized tattoo. 

****

Hyunjin remembers talking with Jisung about tattoos when they first met, remembers Jisung saying he’d always wanted one but had no idea what to get, and remembers Jisung excitedly showing him the drawings he’d done himself on Christmas morning. Jisung refused to tell Hyunjin what he finally decided on, claiming that he wanted it to be a surprise, and booked an appointment with Changbin. 

****

The day of the appointment, Jisung knocks on Hyunjin’s door at 10:30, two hours before their scheduled time, and plops himself down on the sofa when Hyunjin opens the door. Hyunjin is in the middle of brushing his teeth when Jisung comes in and mutters, “Good morning, sunshine,” around the toothpaste in his mouth. Jisung gives him a goofy smile and pulls his socked feet up onto the couch. 

****

“I’m nervous,” is what Jisung said then, and Hyunjin finds it hard to believe now. After seeing Jisung sit so proudly in the black leather chair, admire the artwork hanging from the walls of Changbin’s shop, and never flinch when the tattoo gun began to pierce the skin right above the back of his elbow, Hyunjin finds it incredibly hard to believe that Jisung was ever nervous. 

****

As soon as the tattoo is finished, Jisung asks Changbin if he can show Hyunjin before he wraps it up. Changbin nods, and Hyunjin tries to be calm as he makes his way over to the chair. Jisung turns to face him and rotates his arm so Hyunjin can see the tattoo. It’s simple – a sharp, thin script is curved around the bend of Jisung’s elbow spelling out the words  _ I AM YOU  _ with a lazily rising sun set in the background. It’s all black with minimal shading and Hyunjin thinks he’s a little more in love with Jisung than he was yesterday. 

****

“What’s it mean?” Hyunjin asks, tracing light fingers around the swollen skin to feel the rise of the ink underneath. Jisung smiles down at the tattoo, and Hyunjin feels something give in his chest. “I am you,” he begins, lifting the sleeve of his shirt to better see Changbin’s artwork. “It means we’re all the same.  _ You  _ could be you, or me, or someone across the ocean on a different continent, but we all see the same sun rise and set everyday. We all exist together.” 

****

Hyunjin is definitely more in love than he was yesterday.

****

——

****

It isn’t seamless; it never has been. But, Hyunjin would rather be ripped at the seams than exist without the boundless love than Jisung gives. It’s a kind of endlessness that doesn’t need to be seamless. It’s a frayed canvas painted into chaotic masterpiece by an artist with heavy eyes, a bright soul, and a heart that reaches to the ends of the earth for the people he loves. It’s been ripped and put back together by gentle hands and even gentler whispers beneath starry skies and between faded white sheets. It’s a complete mess, but in the center of it is something so close to perfection that it’s nearly tangible, nearly  _ real _ . 

****

But Hyunjin doesn’t want perfection. He doesn’t want tangible or seamless – he wants Jisung in all his imperfection and torn edges. 

****

For now, seamlessness isn’t the goal. Torn seams can be sewn back together, mended until they are just a reminder of a wound there once was. With seamlessness comes nothing to cover, nothing to uncover, and Hyunjin never wants to stop uncovering Jisung’s seams. 

****

They’ll uncover each other’s hearts. Seams and all. 

****

——

–  **_END_ **

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**Author's Note:**

> how was it? i love constructive criticism, so pls leave me a comment if anything seemed off or like it could be better! i plan on doing a prequel of sorts for this that is just jisung's backstory (which will essentially be me venting lmao), so let me know if you'd be interested in reading that! it may explain things a little more. 
> 
> again, thank you for reading! if you'd like to talk to me, you can dm me on twitter @stayhealing_ !!
> 
> take care ~


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